Robert: "My grandfather got me a wagon."

-The Da Vinci Code

I must admit to being a bit more awake than last night's entry. Getting home and then spending mucho amount of time putting things away, playing with my 5 dogs, talking to parents, and doing things for them can take a lot out of ya after a 1 hour and 19 minute drive while keeping an eye on the sides for cops.

Of course, I was a bit worried that my time spent in the gym would be a bit different, namely that I'd wear out too early. Nope. Huffed and puffed like a pro. Hell, I even did my best run tonight! That feeling afterwards is incredible since you feel like you can do anything. Then again, it's better than realizing you need to get fuel for the ol' *say this with me like the "Chinaman" did in the movie, 16 Candles* auto-mo-bile. Auto-mo-bile?

*Makes crashing sounds*

Of course, there is the other factor that Sara so bluntly pointed out in the shower, I have no ass. I don't think I'd even notice this if someone didn't just say so. I mean, who looks at their ass all day? Not me. I do occasionally give myself a little grab to see how hard it's gotten but that's only when I'm bored to death while peeing. Anymore ramifications on this event do not need to be said, right?

But it's now gotten to the point that I've seen myself in the mirror and just have to look at my ass, what's left of it. It's now pretty small, hard but small. Running on the treadmill really works! Just set an incline to 4.5 and run like hell for a full 10 minutes and then walk for the last 5. Easy because the time passes so fast while the TV plays in front of me.

Even with no ass, I still like what I have. Just enough for Sara to tap as I have to beware of her claws due to her need to scratch me. I've bled, ya know?

Good grief, if I ever get this picture thing figured out, I'd love to show my ass. I never figured out why people are so shy of showing a little bootie. The ass is a muscle, people, unlike that strawberry hanging in between your legs or that twig n' berries on him. Asses are meant to be shown.

So, what did I do in my time spent in Indiana? The one thing that stands out is the fact that I spent 3 hours in either Best Buy or Barnes N Noble. 1 total hour in Best Buy while the rest was sitting there reading "The Curious Dog..." No, I didn't read my book but the store's copy due to forgetting mine. Just had to pick right up where I left off which wasn't difficult since there is a portion where the kid discovers letters. You'll see if you start this story as well.

Best Buy is fun if you know where to look. Thankfully, the French Open has started and if you know me and women't tennis, it's not surprising that I just plopped my asslessness onto a big leather chair and watched. My seatmates were 1 little Asian girl, 1 older woman, and 2 Asian guys that seemed to be visiting America for the first time. Am I the only one that seems to want to scream "Pokemon" when this happens?

Yes, yes, I love women's tennis. You'll get those grunts as a serve is made or women giving each other dirty looks over a bad call for the ump's chair. Plus, if you're really, really lucky, high definition brings out the tennis panty shots so much better. Can I be a guy just this once, please?

The funny thing about being in Best Buy for an hour is that you start to earn a small amount of respect. When the guys working in the TV section walk by, the start to move around my viewing area at some point so as not to disturb me when a lovely lady flashes a bit of knickers. Plus, those big leather seats are so inviting to us male species in that we don't want to get up again. These things scream: "Leave this man alone! Fill his beer and be off! Can't you see that this man enjoys an interview with Martina Hingis?"

FYI: I love Martina Hingis! That face of hers, the Swiss Miss. It's eerie how much she seems to remind me of Sara anytime I see her pictures.

2 hours in Barnes N Noble were nice. 50 pages were read along with just about every magazine that tickles my fancy. Sometimes, I got a little annoyed with teenagers giggling at naked pictures found in the store's sex section. Just who needs a demonstration as to how doggie style is done while I am trying to enjoy my paragraph with a special ed kid in pursuit of a dog-killer? Us Weekly consisted of an obviously photoshopped Janet Jackson. She went from Paddington Bear to a woman that looks a little like Barry Bonds with a feminine face. Add all that to various lad mags and sports. It did help that Keira was one of the subjects in Us Weekly on how she gets that "board with 2 M&M's look."

Speaking of Keira, just fucking hilarious to see the press get pictures of her completely drunk out of her mind while dancing the night away in a club. While the criticism of how she wore the same clothes 2 days in a row bothered the fashion obsessed, I thought it quite nice to read that Keira did not spend her time in the VIP section but with the regular joes. A drunken Keira is still a very sexy Keira.

Other points of fancy in Indiana? Sopranos was a rerun, at least one that I had not seen. Time was spent in Sara's parents' shower to.......uh.......see to it that my stinkiness (told to me by Sara in Barnes) be gone. Just had to raise my arms while she got my all soaped up. Payment was 2 orgasms for her and peppermint ice-cream for me.

How many enjoy it when someone de-stinkies them? I get all excited since it's just a crackin' moment where you raise you arms and get all soaped up thanks to someone else. Mah man boobs get felt up while the occasional hand begins to wander and stroke the right places. Of course, there are "accidental" bending over moments as someone must find the soap. Those lady-bits always make me think impure thoughts when trying to get clean, no?

I'm just not into this time of year due to the heat. Today's 93 degrees did enough to wish me to curl up all day instead of drenching up my Green Lantern t-shirt. As I said, that first night in Indiana made me feel all sticky due to the sweat along with not feeling like I smell good enough to sleep with. Plus, pulling out mah undies from the crack of my ass is not cool since they seem to get wedged up there eventually.

FYI: Asscrack sweat sucks, too.

Then again, it's interesting to note that having a girlfriend who seems to enjoy taking pictures of my manly-bits during a bout of the ol' morning wood is quite a way to spend the time. Geez, I hate to sound like a guy all pent up on his dick but I am pretty big. The next thing ya know, I'm playing around on the 'Net to see Hiss asking for naked pictures so someone has an inkling as to what is going on. I'm sure there will be some crying when I say that all pictures were deleted. Schlong all gone.

So, now? I've got a new book to read. Or should I say books? Sara gave me her copy of "The Da Vinci Code," a book she did not like at all while today I got a copy of "Franny And Zooey" by J.D. Salinger. I liked "The Catcher In the Rye" enough to give this book a try. My decision as to which I go for first will be later tonight. How many say "Franny And Zooey?"

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07