-Homer Simpson to Marge after someone asks the duo for marriage counseling on The Simpsons

I was reading a shortened list of musicians that the god, CNN's Anderson Cooper, listens to while at work or in life. When I saw 2 of my favorites I smiled a bit in knowing that The Clash and Elvis Costello just might have helped in his gathering of all that information that he pours into my tired brain each night. Anderson Cooper 360 beats just about anything on TV at 9pm, including MTV's usual crap in helping to make teens worse than ever.

You know what made me laugh? Ever seen MTV's "My Super Sweet Sixteen?" Anderson Cooper never misses an episode. Seriously. Spoiled teenage girls demanding their parents (most likely the dad) give them anything the ask for is what mah main man, Anderson, enjoys!?! It's like that little brown girl once told me in my need to watch The Dukes Of Hazzard.

"We all have our weaknesses."

So, our Anderson Cooper, a man I can see as a complete package when it comes to what a woman should be making offspring with by the bundle, has been rockin' the Casbah by keeping us in the know when it comes to Hurricane Katrina's wrath on New Orleans. Isn't it sad how so many have forgotten the anger that was once projected at the idiotic antics of high level officials is now just a whimper?

Maybe you had to be there. Maybe it's my own frustration with how our country is being led by idiots that make empty promises. I've yet to forget thanks to so many sad images while others line up in hopes of receiving the Xbox 360. The attention span of the American is just too short.

Rain. That's all I've seen for the past 2 days since I've been home. The weather is either too hot (Memorial Day Weekend) or just plain too rainy (a lot of flooding today) to find yourself in a good mood. Each time I've set foot out the door, the storm clouds move in and all you can wonder is "how long til it starts?"

"I'd be richer and the house would be quieter."

-Mum

Yes, my mom and I had a little discussion this morning while on the way back from grocery shopping at 8am. Some of you may think we're crazy but both of us were up and interested in getting things over with so why not? Nobody in their right mind would want to scan the aisles first thing and that would mean parking's gonna be easy.

Call it an addiction. Sara's got me enjoying these salt & vinegar potato chips by Kettle. My town doesn't sell this brand so I was forced to get the next best thing. Close but not quite as good as Sara's Kettle. However, the sight of my mother trying a salt & vinegar chip was worth it since I, too, reacted like someone placed flies in my mouth. I'm lovin' 'em since no one else will eat them.

But grocery shopping at 8am? Mostly older folks roaming the store with large amounts of milk. The single guys stock up on Hot Pockets and 2 large cases of beer. When it comes to married guys and how long the wife is gone, the amount of beer goes up. There is nothing like that time in celebrating is there? If that ever happened to me, the "celebrating" I would do wouldn't consist of massive amounts of porn but howling with my 5 dogs. Yes, all of them enjoy a good 15 minutes of tellin' it to the mountains.

I hope everyone out there has heard about this incident in Habitha, Iraq, where some Marines, in cold blood, killed a family. Now, I can understand the stress of not knowing your enemy due to their appearances of looking like everyday Iraqis or seeing/hearing your friends being killed. It's just that I really don't know how long anyone can stand to do this job and stay sane. Yes, it's something that should find these Marines being punished while also needing to understand the stress these guys are under.

As for me, I don't know why I did it but I've gotta mention what's been on my mind in regards to this. Do you ever look at the side effects to the prescriptions you take? I looked at mine yesterday and have been plagued by various things that seem to make so much sense. My body, once an amazing precise machine, doesn't feel like it's mine. Here's why:

1). Lightheadedness

2). Blurred vision

3). Loss of appetite

4). Stomach upset

5). Excessive loss of body water

And the one that I truly wondered about...............*crickets start chirpping*

6). Decrease in sexuality

Okay, now I just got a hell of a lot of info in such a short amount of time that I've been plagued as to what to do. These are my prescriptions, 2 pills, I take everyday and have done so for years. Could this be why I'm thirsty so much and I don't feel the need to fuck like a bunny anymore? Just this weekend, I stopped taking my pills and wanted sex more so than ever. My thirstiness was still huge but I'm talking about the one thing that matters to us all, sex!

In case you are wondering, these 2 pills I take have to do with my hearing. It was a bit down but I was just starting to want a round in bed more so than ever. I know you may think that sex doesn't matter but, kids, it makes you feel so good while also wanting to do naughty things to your mate. Now, I feel like I'm stuck in a dilemma that I'll never fully get over. Should I test this not taking my pills one more time?

Do you ever look at the side effects on your prescriptions? Think about it. Is it worth the constipation or constant farting just to kill a small amount of pain or fungus on your foot?

Someone Google'd me under "Can A Blowjob Make A Girl Pregnant?" It's questions like these that make me wonder how well kids are being taught in regards to the subject of sex. My college Human Sexuality teachers would have made each and everyone of us so much better and less confused when it comes to sex since a 3-pack-a-day P.E. teacher just doesn't do squat. When the slide showing a drawing of a vagina looks more like lettuce and tomato while constant coughing goes on, it's time to shut down the system!

A class discussion on the glories of receiving a blowjob or the art of cunnilingus should be given by an old lady and a lesbian that has no fear. Yep, those were my college teachers that helped brave me up. All of you would have liked them as we spent a good 20 minutes making penises out of popsicle sticks. I was amused as to how small the girls made theirs since they obviously haven't seen a well stocked schlong.

FYI: I have not discussed my ass tonight so there is no excuse for fear while reading this entry, Sammy. It's sanitized for your protection.

- - 2009-07-07

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