-Boston Legal's Denny Crane

Well, it's another one of those nights where I am about to prepare for my trip out east to Indiana. Packing and various preparations are in order. It's amazing how much better I get at it after all these times spent doing so. I know the correct amount of clothes, socks, undies, shorts, pants, and all else. My only enemy is the weather because there were a few times where I dressed warmly only to find it quite cold.

There was much rumbling in the Nerd Kingdom today. All of us lined up waiting for the local fun comic shop (the bad one is on campus and is run by someone I'd like to call "Anti-Mutant") got into a deep discussion (deep as in who was cool and not so cool in the movie) on this latest X-Men flick. A lot can be debated by those in the clothes-challenged society.

It's the usual gripes. Part of this I can relate to in that favorite characters were not seen enough or too much. Origins were toyed with and not correct. This Dark Phoenix segment in the X-Men lore was something of legend due to how creative and captivating it was. Bret Ratner, although he gave a nice flick, did not represent it well while applying his own creativity.

There has got to be something to stop my needing books. Borders and Barnes keep putting out tables that consist of various choices to read, namely classics. Today, I got "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho while killing time. I've heard of it and it was cheap. Need I say more? 2 books to read in Indiana, "Franny And Zooey" and this. Gawd, these paragraphs are making me sound like a complete nerd out of control.

Why not? All we have in this town is rain. Rain, rain, rain, and more fucking rain all day and even tonight. More is predicted for next week. Books are good. Books keep me sane while a little dog thinks of herself as being mighty by barking out the window all day. Smoke detectors beeping cause her to cower behind my chair, though. Buffy not so tough.

You know the drill. Had a great time on the treadmill run. Once again, I beat my old time at reaching a 220 calories burned destenation. I know this is not the correct amount since the treadmill does not take into account your body weight, height, and all that. It's just that I use this to measure how I am doing so those of you keeping score, I am at a speed of 7.2 with a 4.5 incline. Today's run had a really major pump in these buns o' steel.

Once again, I will not talk about my smooth ass, this complete fleshy loveliness that so needs to be squeezed by a sweet female that radiates a type of uniqueness not found in those that insist on watching MTV all day. My insane mind is curious as to just how far I can shrink it. You know you want to see it, kids.

On a more serious note (Yes, I can be serious while you think about giving me a tap), I just found out my mother is a redhead. Funny how I never realized this til I asked her at the dinner table. You would think I knew this after all these years but I always thought it was the hair coloring shit she uses. When I was a little kid, much of my time was spent where all sorts of boxes of various women smiling about how luscious their hair is were all over the place.

Chalk it up as weird to find something out that you should have known long ago, eh? The old saying is that redheaded women have fiery tempers so it's no wonder I already knew this thanks to Mom.

Okay, I'm going to disagree with you, Sammy. I've been thinking about this topic on sex education in school and see a definite need for change. If a girl needs to Google whether she can get pregnant from giving a blowjob, things are a bit wonky out there.

Wanna know how my private Catholic school taughts us sex education? 5th Grade brought all of us a blue book. We all knew what was in it thanks to older brothers/sisters telling us (You couldn't take it home) that we're gonna do what we longed to do, hear a nun say the magic words:

"Penis, penis, penis, vagina, vagina, VAGINA!"

Oh, these were funny times, learning sex. Those first few chapters were so dull that I wanted to fall asleep. Since I read fast and am quite sneaky, I skimmed for the good parts (Remember that this was the time I was reading books on everything related to the vagina. I was proud to be a young boy that knew girls don't pee from there, something not many men know.) in which we get to anything that discusses penetration.

"Then, the man puts his penis inside the woman's vagina to ejaculate."

Boring! Boring! That's as descriptive as our sex education was, folks and it still gets bad. Our high school instructor was a 3-pack-a-day guy that was fun but coughed way too much as he showed us slides where the vagina (I swear) looked like 2 slices of lettuce and a pickle. Is it any wonder I was hungry but not for the right thing?

Why a change? Let's face it. Teens and even young kids see more porn than I've ever viewed at that age. My first Hustler was in 8th Grade and you can just imagine my first thoughts at what I looked at on my patio. Thanks to the 'Net, women with their legs completely spread open or various penises hanging or hard for some sucking are all over. Even if I go to a tame website, this happens so why not start explaining.

Let's add more to sex education, too. Why not talk more openly about masturbation and fetishes? It's seen by me that my sex education classes taught me that these are bad. People that enjoy the feel of leather or spankings are nothing but a bunch of freaks and should be shunned. Poo. The U.S. sucks as Japan is well known as having the most panty sniffers around. Hell, they're proud of this so beware if you are a tall girl visiting. Some Japanese men are short and happy with this when it comes to subway traveling.

I forgot the name of that woman that thought we should teach masturbation in schools but I think it's a good idea. At first, I was against this as kids have enough to think about. Why sex? Well, it calms and could put a bit of relief on boys insisting girls put out. I may not have had sex in high school but I can tell you that I was extremely tempted since my tennis playing girlfriend did so much to free my willy. Hey, Sara, can you imagine how big my balls would have been back then?

Satan: "Holdin' out is for pussies."

One of the biggest things I would put forth when it comes to sex education in high school is for girls to know how to put condoms on penises. Seriously. A lot of girls I've come across had no clue as to how to put one on me. So, why? This could prevent some pregnancies in which boys insisted on not wearing a condom. C'mon, you know how it was back then. When you're scared of what you are doing, it's harder due to not knowing.

I really don't know how I did it, getting through my education when it comes to sex. The one thing that irritated me so much is how the nuns did not teach the act as being something fun and a good way to express how you feel about someone. It was more like a tool to procreate and reading about it put me to sleep. You would, too, if a 50-year-old woman read the words "And then the male puts his penis into the woman's vagina."

Now, I know there are going to be some people that disagree with me on better sex education. That's fine. I just think that with how much sexuality is being thrown at kids these days, it's time to tell them the complete truth by demistifying the subject. Talk about fetishes, the length of penises, pussy wetness, AIDS, STDs, anal sex, an in depth discussion on ejaculation, blowjobs, the taste of semen and vaginal wetness, and anything else that even adults should know.

I remember my basic questions that I wondered, not out of horniness, but of curiousity. Back then, it would have been completely scary for me to ask what the vagina's skin tastes like and what is the smell similar to. What does it feel like when you are inside her? Was I wrong to ask this? My diary is Googled a lot under these questions so I know I wasn't alone in wanting to know at some point. Man, those nuns made me feel so bad while telling us boys that women who want sex are nothing but whores.

Many of you already know I didn't get my cherry popped til after high school, right after. Molested by one of the most admirable women I've ever met in my life as she had to deprogram me from all that the nuns put in my head. I swear there was a point that I told Kristan that I thought all women having premarital sex were nothing but a bunch of whores just like the nuns taught me. What did she do? Got a very good lecture and soon into a heavy debate on sexuality, namely about women's.

Sometimes, I think I still have a few circuits short in my head when it comes to sex. Nothing really bothers me but it could just be my wonky drive. Up and down, it's all over the frigging place. There are times that I really smile here on Diaryland when I read about how much fun various women are having and what they enjoy. Who knew that there would be so many heavy debates on the taste of semen or finding the perfect cock.

I'm bored now so I'm gonna skedaddle outta here. Packing a sweeping of my room are all that's left as tomorrow will find me at the eye doctor. Saturday afternoon is when I leave for Indiana as another errand keeps me scampering about til I hit the interstate. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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