-Over the Hedge

Only Rolling Stone can place an amusing picture of The Red Hot Chili Peppers and place a very neat-o article on how Bush stole the election. Anything where guys describe how great it is to perform with socks on cocks sounds a hell of a lot more normal than a man that continues to tell us that everything is okay in Iraq and cannot stop beating to death how marriage must be between a man and woman.

I don't know about you but I've just about had it with Iraq and how we must "stay the course." Our soldiers have a major sting in this operation thanks to a few going crazy in which they shot and killed a family in Haditha. C'mon, it's fucking obvious that something really major happened there when little kids and a grandma were found with bullet holes in the back of their heads.

It's funny how much I can understand the insurgents' anger towards the U.S. Not only do we have soldiers going crazy due to the stress of being overworked but also the ignorance paints the picture that our boys want to stay there. Why not? The U.S. is building some major American buildings where they shouldn't be. How would you feel if a country came, took your not so nice dictator, and then decided to occupy the territory all while making itself rich?

To further this argument, we can just take a look at those in charge of starting this war. None had any experience as to what it is like to fight in a combat zone. None thought of an exit strategy. None thought of a potential resentment towards U.S. occupancy.

Ah, but I had a different war of sorts to watch. Since I watch my movies in portions due to being all over the place, I finished my second viewing of Underworld: Evolution. Much better the second time around because I just have to say that the film looks spectacular on DVD. Whoever did it, really got his blues and black down perfectly since Selene being on the hunt has the affect of a major enhancement in her eyes' color.

Editor: "Hedgie's a sucker for asses and eyes. He'll look at your eyes when you face him but take a nice long gander at your ass when walking away. Incredible lad, this Hedgie is."

Of course, the whole Underworld: Evolution is one long chase that ends up at a castle. We're not expecting complete realism since vampires and werewolves exist in this world. Just a dreamy woman that can hunt down werewolves until she discovers the reason she is as she is, a Death Dealer.

So, of course, I'm a bit of a guy that has a need to escape reality by hitting "Enter" when it comes to paranormal stuff. Yes, ghosts are scary as Sara's apartment is clearly haunted (have not seen or heard the ghost in a while, though) by a lady in white. The hairs all around my body went up big time when I was looking at something on my face in the mirror thanks to something long and white walk past me.

But the paranormal are alive and I think that book I read a while back, "The Curious Incident Of the Dog At Nighttime" said it best. We don't know enough since we don't have the equipment to register such things. Ghosts exist. Why not? Some people deserve a shot at revenge.

So, why are the hills alive with the sounds of the paranormal? X-Files, baby, X-Files. I've been surveying various inciteful thoughts on Seasons 1-9 on websites or Amazon. According to my past rememberances, the 3rd and 4th were the best as Mulder has to deal with the possibility that his sister was murdered rather than taken by aliens. Who doesn't find that shit intriguing? Probably because you are sitting there reading this paragraph all while you can't wait to go back to your Harlequinn novel.

As for my book, "Franny And Zooey" by J. D. Salinger, it is done. Good riddance even if the ending made my annoyance in it a bit lower. There was a small but smart debate over religion and why people fock to it. What are their true reasons, most likely selfish in needs? As it stands, I don't see any need to have this book looked to as a great one. Times have changed and I'd rather read something that tickles my brain.

So, on with "The Alchemist" possibly tomorrow if the desire gets to me. You know, you can always send me books. I read fast and even assert my nerdiness on others. Just watch me tell all the geeks at the comic shop that sexy words can enhance their wet dreams like a mean mutha'.

Of course, it's comic book day and I don't dare need to tell you that I got into a debate with another X-Men freak. Our verdicts were the same as I stood out there in the downtown area with this fashionably-challenged man that barely shows any kind of masculinity. They should have stuck to the comics' introduction to The White Queen and how Jean Grey became The Black Queen. Word to yo' mutha'.

And the Googlin' plays on. I will answer the question that I keep getting looked up over, "Why do strippers smell the same?"

Answer: I have very little experience when it comes to strip joints. The only ones I entered took place thanks to a bachelor party in St. Louis. I've told the story so many times but with this keen nose and desire to observe, it's no wonder why I enjoy this question. All strippers use a lotion of some type. The reason is simple: to keep you from knowing her pussy's scent, a very private scent, I might add. No girl is just going to allow you to smell her down there, even a stripper. How do I know this? I got pulled onstage by a gorgeous stripper that just had to get me half-naked and sit on my face. While doing so, she pulls her thong to the side all to rub her labia's piercing on my nose. Hence why I could smell what was not a pussy's scent (It's quite marine while a small amount of what a lobster's tank in a grocery store smells like as well) but lotion. Plus, a whole place full of various women with legs spread will make the place smell a little funny since, yes, it can be that strong. How many think that's my view of what heaven would be like if it existed?

*Takes bow*

The inevitable did take place today. My ass hurts and it hurts really bad thanks to a soreness that has not gone away. When I returned from Indiana, it was decided to test my new speed on the treadmill by cranking it up a notch. 7.3 was now 7.4 in rpm. My ass was worked like a meth addict running from the cops. The zit, however, is still there.

And then Joe, a workout partner not seen for some time, found it funny that I was running on a treadmill. There were so many times I told him that I would never do cardio ever again. What happened to me? I love the high you get once that run is over but could do without the sweat. Everything was dripping as you girls are so lucky you don't get sweaty balls. High five from Joe as he probably knows what I'm talkin' about.

- - 2009-07-07

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