-AFI

You know what? I've been a bit of a bad boyfriend by not mentioning Sara as much as I used to. I think about her when I can sit still and not be distracted. Politics, sex, my views, and things that I think about appear here on D-Land but not as much about my girlfriend. Weird.

I'm a bit happier about that thought of Sara getting a new job since the one she has lightly fucks things up here and there with scheduling that is all over the place. Plus, with an employee discount, the girl will never be without a pile of books. As I said before, a girl that reads is not a boring girl but one that actually thinks thanks to having imagination.

There are times that I worry since the job Sara has at this moment keeps her in a place til close to midnight. You know the police blotters and all that that talk of people causing havoc and whatnot. Whether it be over cigarettes, thieves, or people that think they are Jee-zus, life behind a counter can bring about the weirdos. I know because I worked with several of them and you'll hear about them come September.

My leaving Indiana always ends with a kiss and me up in arms over whether I have everything. You'll find me walking back and forth at least 40 times to make sure I have all my clothes, toothbrush, etc. I'll always make time to sit on the floor to play with the flatmate's cat whom insists on me not going. When you've won over the cat, you've done something right.

However, I have a problem and it is I. My mind is distracted all the time due to worrying about whether I am good enough, good enough for anything. People talk of the winter time as being a depressing time but for me it's summer. The heat and humidity get to me while I'd rather take a stroll along the downtown area in a button down and cargo pants while a slight breeze presses me onward.

Plus, I'm a moody bastard here and there. Little things tend to set me off. My eyes will tell you that I am sad or they just might be lying. I'm happiest completely asleep at Sara's side as we've now started waking up at similar times. Then again, when one leaves the bed to pee, the other wakes up as a result. Don't you wish you didn't have to pee?

I know I've laughed at the lot of you that say spiders are scary while I find them fascinating. When I see one that someone wants to kill, I'll try my best to capture it and then take it outside. All that reminds me of how a college friend's brother used to react to this:

"Free the bug! Free the bug!"

That's what he used to say while he and I would try to keep a spider, moth, or various insect from being killed by an insane homeowner. Yes, I know spiders are not bugs but arachnids. That quote is kinda giggly, no?

I do have a fear of something that came out yesterday that I forgot to mention. This happened right as I took out my dog, Buffy. I'm surprised she didn't notice this thing but, then again, dogs that really have to go, gotta go.

Centipedes. I'm afraid of centipedes and I do not kid. These damn things come out every now and then here in my house, at least 2 times a year. I'll be sitting or lying on the floor only to see this long creature dart out as fast as possible. First, the fear hits me, then I get a weapon of some type, and finally I hunt the damn thing down. Yesterday's was an easy kill as I was able to take one of Mum's cow memorabilia to smash the damn thing.

So, there you have it. Another one of my fears but this time it's a creature that most people don't even think of. Parts of me, when I hear the word "centipede," get to thinking about that arcade game we'd find in various stores. What eerie music and fun it was to kill the damn things but you wouldn't know about this unless you were a child of the 80's. Centipede rocked.

So, the day was spent with Kurt Vonnegut's "Cat's Cradle" and cleaning up the doghouse after a long wait for the rain to stop. Rained all day, pretty much. It's no wonder I'm not in the best of moods all thanks to not being able to watch my dogs run around like idiots in the grass. Kurt's book helped but only a little since I'm only slowly getting into it.

The doghouse took a bit of time since it's been in the backyard for a while, dirty, very dirty. Me with a bottle of what looks like Windex and paper towls is what you'd find. Not surprisingly, I took the time to save a spider nested in the upper corner while I finished up.

"Free the bug! Free the bug!"

You can tell I'm a little depressed right now, eh? I did take the time to look for some pepperming ice cream but that's pretty much only available during the Holidays. Oh, how it makes me feel so good when things are kind of down inside. Plus, the ol' halitosis (for the laymen, that's "bad breath") can be cleared when your gloomies are put in a great big paper bag, yo.

And so I leave you here as I make my way upstairs. I'm not up to my usual entry fiasco but those commercials for Nacho Libre are working their way into my cold heart. First it was seeing Mr. and Mrs. Smith kick the shit out of each other that brought a smile to me. Next, it's the sight of a chunky white man being bombarded by a bull. Who said violence doesn't bring peace to a tired soul? Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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