Steve: "Awright.......once more from the top..."

Opus: "Excuse me, Mr. Producer. Me and the boys were wondering how we should approach the second verse of 'Demon Drooler Of the Sewer.' Bill suggested a gentle vibrato to heighten tension....but I feel a quick dip to G minor at the downbeat would better blend the vocal harmonies. Waddya think?"

Steve: "Just wing the mother."

Opus: "JUST WING THAT MOTHER!!"

-Billy And the Boingers Bootleg (p.75)

I think that conversation is one of the greatest explanations on what to do with your life. Just do it. No overanalyzing things. Just wing the mother.

And so I laugh at how an advice columnist was asked a very peculiar question by an old lady. It seems she was extremely worried that her grandson could be gay. Why this is such an issue is beyond me but you know that generation that was shielded or completely ignorant to the world around them thanks to the time they grew up in. Of course, this older lady wondered if circumsicion would cure her grandson of homosexuality.

Yikes! Take a scalpel to a guy's penis in hopes to cure homosexuality!?! I don't know how nice this little old lady is but that is one thing a guy can fear, suddenly facing shears in late teen years. How dumb do you have to be to come up with circumsicion as a form of cure? Grandma will be banned from all family get-togethers.

In another article, a guy noticed how kids are no longer exploring their world. While driving around, they're more interested in DVD players that they can just sit on their laps and watch while the parents drive. To me, that's just insane because am I the only one that had a curiousity to watch various things all around me? I do it today as I like to see people and what they're up to. Makes you more creative than just sitting there watching Toy Story for the upteenth time.

Plus, I used to play "I See Something...." with my mom while we were parked in a parking lot waiting for Dad to do what he had to do. You don't ever want to do that to a kid as curious as I since I would not allow my mom to leave until I figured out that last answer. Could it be that these things and my curiousity make me a well-rounded individual? I just don't think kids have as much of an interest in the world these days thanks to technology or that thing where I find too many people lacking common sense.

But a run? Oh, boy did I do my best run on the treadmill this late morning. It helped that Mac and Old Nick were in the gym as they are fun to talk to. While Mac's still wanting a boyfriend, Old Nick got caught under a bench-press. He was shouting for someone to help him get around 150 pounds off of him.

Editor: "Old people. You've gotta look out for them, especially those little old ladies with shears and penises on their minds."

Good grief, I felt so good after that run in which I not only beat my best time...........again but the Comedy Channel was playing Sorority Boys on the TV in front of me. Never seen this critic panned flick? There is something about drag that can make me laugh so hard.

"Please be a size 8. Please be a size 8. Yes!!!"

I'm not sure why I got the above joke so well but it could just be the sight of a guy that is shopping for a nice dress to wear to a cruise party in which it will hide his large ass. I got it. I totally got it as I swear that I've never worn a dress before. My humor is odd as hell but I think some of you love me for it.

I don't know why but a run makes me feel so good, even if for 17 minutes. People on the ellipticals behind me didn't laugh once as they were probably more into the sports channels. Too bad. Laughter can make you run a little faster as long as you pay attention to keeping up with the speed.

The best way to come down from a running high is to take the dogs out and watch them go 'splorin' (exploring). All you have to do is say this word and they'll go nuts on the fact that you'll open the extra gate to allow them time in the grass. The wooden deck gets dull as Clyde likes to mow by eating the grass. Hell, he does this in lines so there's no stripes.

I'm gonna be honest in that I've been pretty miserable lately. The rain is a possible factor while the other could be how my head needs some major stimulation. The book "Cat's Cradle" is okay but nothing I'd warrant as a must read. I haven't been in the mood to watch movies or even much TV. It's almost the middle of June and all I've seen is rain.

Editor: "And one centipede, now a dead centipede."

So, I played a little thing in which I thought up many, many observations on myself while running or as I had a long hot bath. What could I tell you about me that you don't already know? It's tough but, believe it or not, there's lots.

Things I feel I need for the Summer:

1). 1 pair of AE shorts that are flimsy and long as I love my cargoes long.

2). Find the other 3 mismatched socks or at least find out whether the aliens using them as fuel got to where they wanted.

3). Seasons 1,2, and 5 of The X-Files because I want to start catching up with this show that I neglected to watch in the past.

4). To see the boys, Bald-O and Mark, since my testosterone factor is pretty low. This boy needs beer and lots of manly grunts while turning himself over to a massive load of giggles as various people fart. People start picking up furniture to look for them.

5). My girlfriend, Sara, has a birthday coming up. Need I say more? It's weird how I can remember the date but not how old she is.

6). Clean out some of my buddy list here on D-Land since some have left and others just don't wanna put any effort in this here think-tank.

7). I thought up what I'd do if I sold all my comic books for $10,000. I'd get a nice 60-inch plasma TV, buy something real nice for Sara, my parents, and little brother. Then, I'd go see Sammy in Maryland and possibly swing by to see various people like Summer, Hiss, and Zu. Weird that my mind tends to wonder all over the place, huh?

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07