-Anatole France

This weekend has not been anything special. Of course, my only highlight was discovering the 80's music video jukebox only to grow a wee bit tired of it. As much as it is fun to take a trip down memory lane in which I was a little kid completely tickled by all the creativity, I do grow tired of seeing the same thing over and over.

I even decided to take all the music video DVDs and place them where I can just play something on a complete whim. Christina? The Corrs? Elvis Costello? Fiona Apple? Even Savage Garden? Yes, I confess that no one understood my love of the song that expressed a bit too much admiration. At a 5.1 multi-channel output, your speakers burst.

There was some kind of study done where it found the average person has 2 close friends. 10 years ago, it was 3 but due to all the craziness of being too busy, we've lost touch. Plus, you can add the technology advancements like Xbox and Playstation being a replacement for human contact. Kids really do enjoy watching Lara Croft's realistic titties fly thanks to the magic of Xbox 360.

I don't know about you but I miss having lots of friends all around. Going to the park to hit the ball around feels like so long ago. Now, all my friends are at a distance from 79 miles or more.

It could have been the study that did it or it could have just been my ol' buddy-like self as I just had to call up Bald-O. Scary. He sounded so sad and wanting me to come down there. What's so funny to me is how he is so against homosexuality but you'd think as a 3rd person observer that Bald-O had gone Brokeback. The fact that it's him, cases of beer, a fat dog, and a grill are all that's keeping him masculine. Queer Eye would have to take months with him.

Some people can make do without friends but not I. People like me thrive on conversation and learning from others. How else would I have learned that nipples come off like Mikey's did from climbing the metal gate? It's true that the older you get, the less friends you have thanks to some becoming parents or others just losing out to becoming sloth.

My friends here? They would be E, Gay Nick, Old Nick, and a few others here and there but none of us are close. I see E a lot thanks to her working at the local bookstore I haunt, always smiling and waving at me while working in the cafe. It's amazing that you can see her over the register because she really is tiny.

As for what keeps me busy......running around with my dogs in the backyard. Reading here and there. Finished "The Position" and enjoyed it but wanted something new. 75% finished with the book and I was already itching for a new one. Weird. I've got either The Davinci Code or Sara's early birthday gift, a hardcover DragonLance.

Note: Sara, am I supposed to watch Small Potatoes here or with you? Your flatmate would not tell me anything about this X-Files episode but insisted I bring all the episodes.

Okay, I was skimming around in the Borders DVD section yesterday and came upon a special edition version of Kinsey. Over 20 deleted scenes, etc. would be found and I admit to curiousity since I enjoyed it. Liam Neeson is a pretty good actor in that he can blend into the characters he plays. Rob Roy and his Alfred Kinsey look so different even if they are both played by him.

As you know, I studied sexuality in my classes while attending college. It was a big step for me since my parents were always quite open about the subject yet I wanted them to not know I was being subjected to a possibly explicit overview. I mean, I'm sure my mom knew I started having sex with Kristan thanks to the fact that I was no longer coming home. A boy discovering the joy of receiving blowjobs never wants to leave.

Alfred Kinsey. Yes, we discussed him along with his studies. Loved the movie on him but found Kinsey to treat people as numbers too much. For me, sex was always enjoyed by the "how's" or "why's" in that I wanted to know why people did certain things. How is it that I find a certain woman's actions more attractive than another's? Why do people laugh at me in how I find ponytails so sexy?

According to Kristan, human sexuality classes were not as open as they are today. When she took the class at this local college, the names of people were not to be completely known for fear of embarassment. In other words, you were to put only your first name on your papers or numbers were used in giving a student an identity. Things have changed, huh?

My sexuality classes were X-Rated and proud. I've told you how I lead a discussion on receiving blowjobs when a class wouldn't answer the teacher's question on Clinton's little misdeed. Our teacher showed us pictures of things you'd normally find in porn:

1). The vagina, completely spread open and wetness seeping out.

2). Penises ejaculating.

3). Facial expressions of people reaching orgasm.

That last one had me laughing because we humans really do look stupid while having sex. Porn may be choreographed to make it a little better looking but we still look stupid. How many of you scream to the point that people out walking 2 blocks away know you're having sex?

Sara can vouch for me on this. I have very minimal gaydar so it took me a long fucking time to realize my Human Sexuality teacher was gay. Plus, she had 2 kids and no matter how many times she invited me over to talk, I never noticed how gay she was. I swear that it is the funniest thing sitting in an office with a teacher and discussing things that many people would get red faced over.

Sex is such a touchy topic because, out of 10 people you meet, there is going to be one that'll tell you to shut your mouth. Hell, even I don't want to discuss the topic 24 hours a day.

But we do. Why? Because sex is fun. There's taboo aspects and things that make you so fucking horny from discussing. You know me. I go crazy for ponytails, pussy wetness, and the smell of it all. I know for I have no shame thanks to being so open. There is something so beautifully primal and perfect in placing your hands down a girl's panties and feeling how turned on she is while kissing.

What I did find so fucking cool about Kinsey is how he didn't seem to judge on what you enjoyed in sex. Every question needed an answer since no one really studied what we humans do or enjoy in the bedroom. I'd hate to say it but I'm pretty sure people were very sexually repressed back then. Hell, the clitoris was only recently discovered.

I've never seen sex as a way of saving a relationship. No matter how great it is, the only thing that keeps people together is what they are within. Every couple seems to have some sort of issues in the bedroom since no one can be a complete fantasy. Lust starts out hard and fast but simmers out at some point.

I remember that first kiss I received from Veronica. How could I not? I had a garden hose pointed at my back thanks to her sister, Jasmine. No one seems to be able to top my first kiss story.

I remember the first time I ever touched a girl's breasts. It was in the car while she was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. That'll be my high school sweetheart, Beth, always trying to tempt me to have sex with her. I don't know how I ended up with my hands up her shirt but they were there, tweeking those nipples. Those days were hard in which Beth would play in those tennis panties as I watched her games. Gawd, those evil nuns did a wonder on my mind til.........

I remember my first time I ever felt up a girl. Now, I was close with Beth since I did have my hand down the ass of her jeans just trying my darndest not to touch her asshole. But Kristan was the first one where my fingers reached the place total geeks can only dream about. My fingers could not stay out of her as I was so fascinated by how wet a girl's vagina could get.

So, my thing is this. How do you describe all this stuff to a researcher? For me, I enjoy the feelings since that ache down there also transpires upward. The brain is the biggest sexual organ and can't be shown as a number. Sure, over 90% of guys love oral sex but I'd rather know why or how. For instance, I like to be slowly sucked off at the start with a steady build up that causes me to lose complete control.

Well, I need to leave you here as Part 2 will happen eventually. My sleepiness is coming over me thanks to trimming the bushes outside. Freudism? How many still had their minds in the gutter? The worst part is that there is a video on the 'Net where Iraqis are shown having sex with a donkey. I kid you not as this was taken thanks to U.S. soldiers recording this while hunting for snipers. Yes, it was a 3-way while our boys protect some Iraqis having a good time. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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