-Nacho Libre

Dear Blockbuster,

You suck. I know it's odd for a guy to begin a letter where he quotes 'Kat,' a character from one of his favorite movies (10 Things I Hate About You), but that man is me. It's how I feel about you and how the rememberance of your long ago commercials in using varmints to express how great you are makes me wish you could hold up your end.
Today, I visited your once great establishment to obtain a movie titled 'My Summer Of Love.' The emerging of a new actress (Emily Blunt) got me curious as she is in here. Never mind the fact that the movie is a tale of lesbian self-discovery (2 girls = 4 tits!) or the fact that this means there is twice the opportunity that someone is going to drop trou. I am merely doing my duty to understand how to identify lesbians should I come across them. According to many people that know me, my gaydar is wonky and I couldn't spot a homosexual even if he were dressed as George Michael, complete with suspenders and bulge enhancing jeans. Yes, I am that bad.
Your selection on what to keep in your store as inventory constantly changes is pathetic. 'My Summer Of Love' has had many great reviews. Shelf space? In my store, you still have much to take up. Stop selling off all copies of a title.
You really need to think about allowing porn. Think about how great it would be when local teachers in a town accidently bump into each other while holding copies. "Oh, I see you got 'Asslicking Ho's,' too! That sequel was awful as the girls ran out of things to lick."

Sincerely,
Hedgehoggy

P.S.
Don't buy out Hollywood Video since they are the place to rent from. So far, 4 out of 5 DVDs I've rented came from there.

Yeah, I'm around as usual due to my usual disdain for Blockbuster, whom I have called 'Lackluster' thanks to how I can't seem to rent anything that was out within 2 years on DVD. What's strange is how I found it so easy when VHS was around but almost impossible when DVD came about. Foreign flicks? Good luck. Their taste on what to keep is very questionable and boring. I like things that are controversial and the fact that they forced a company to change the title of its film to something more suitable for its audience scares me. 'Amy's Orgasm' was changed to 'Amy's O.'

I was just curious about this new actress named Emily Blunt after reading an interview with her in a recent mag. Seems like a nice girl with a good head on her shoulders. Plus, I had been meaning to see 'My Summer Of Love' after so many good reviews on this study of 2 girls from different paths coming across each other. Action flicks to girly flicks. I'm there and will admit to loving 'Pride & Prejudice with gusto.

BRAVO made some loopy list of Super Vixens that I found myself watching once I got home from tonight's workout. A few were right but how the fuck does Catwoman become number 1!?! Holy batfucks, Batman! That just aint right.

I was late into the show so only the last 4 were available to know.

Number 4 was Lara Croft but I'd put her much higher than that, more likely a '2.'

Number 3 was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Nice but I'd take her down a notch to a '5.'

Number 2 was a really surprising choice, The Bond Girls. Since when did these girls get that much notice? I dunno. I never thought of Pussy Galore and Octopussy as interesting characters whom I'd want to fight bad guys with. My thinking would have them in the 100's.

Number 1 was a complete shock, Catwoman. Of all the feminine baddies in Batman's lore, I love her but not to this high of a mountain. Top 20, maybe. At least, the Bride from Kill Bill was in BRAVO's Top 10 somewhere. That woman kicked ass along with Ripley from the Aliens series.

That's a good debate. What super vixens would you want in your group? I'm totally down with Mila Jovovich's characters since you've got Violet from Ultraviolet, a motorcyclist to the extreme while fighting 700 heavil armed storm troopers. Add that to Resident Evil's Alice character Mila played and I'd never be able to walk with this hard-on while watching her fight zombies. I must be one of the few guys that love the itty-bitty-titty community that weild swords.

If you must know, I had a great run tonight. No Zoolander to laugh with as I cranked that sucker up a notch to 7.9 much earlier than before but I got through it. No Slut Watcher to annoy me as well. Sinky Pakastani must have really got to him.

There's a new sexual study being done that is asking for volunteers brave enough to be up for the task in changing the taste of semen. Yes, you read that right as couples are being used in research all towards making it taste better. Wouldn't that be interesting if done? 'Honey, do you want to taste like Rocky Road or Fudge Ripple?' My only wish is that all pussy smells like strawberries, my favorite scent from nature.

But the whole concept of sex? Every now and then I think about how it first erupts within. To me, it could be visual or a feeling of how I am within. I like calm as noise tends to have me distracted by my wanting to know what is going on around me.

What I do enjoy most is the form of play. It's that innocent action that turns into more. There's that anticipation but no rush into the sex. It's funny who initiates sex most when it comes to Sara and I. There are moments I thought she was but learn it was really the other way around. My guess is that being completely nude and spooning leads to this with me while Sara enjoys playing with my cock here and there.

Much as every girl seems to appreciate penises in different attributes, they, too, play with them differently. I'm reminded of when Sara sat there peeing while waiting for the water in the shower to get hotter. Me, being completely naked and ready to get in, was told to come forward to have many kisses applied down there. The humor of it all as I was told my cock was a little too sweaty for her tastes!

Each girl I've been with over time always has something to say about my cock or cocks in general. I love this because it's so unexpected in hearing women talk about any kind of admiration. It's always over thickness, veins, length, and even personality. Yes, I'm pretty damn sure mine has one as it does look sad from time to time but suddenly happy once a tongue visits.

It's fun being naked in front of a girl. She'll look me over and see places I cannot even see while making comments or concern over bumps or marks. I'm sure my back has it's distinguishing characteristics thanks to life in the gym or just in how it was formed. I love how she'll run her fingers down my back while inspecting. It's almost as if my body is owned by her and it's her right to make sure I am in good working order.

But the penis? C'mon, girls I've already figured you out. While you may not subscribe to 'Playgirl' in droves, you still love your boyfriend's to the point where you know every little detail about it. That secret way to make him cum or what makes his toes curl while you ride him, is of your offering. It's always HIS penis that means a lot to you as you are the only one seeing it and tasting it. That is if you aren't a swinger and we all know how most of them look pretty damn ugly so that's why they're swingin'.

Sara and I made a rule in that we always sleep naked. While I sometimes just toy around with her by laying there in some shorts til she insists I get 'em off, I'm all for it. There's that feeling of having my cock at the base of her spine while I curl up close. It's almost as if it belongs there prior to drifting off to sleep. Other times, it makes me horny as hell so we need to do something about it. Running up and down the halls while things flop around could take care of that.

I don't know what else to say since I've got this nasty headache to deal with. The 4th is coming up and I get more and more curious as to what happens while I'm in Indiana. Plus, I have to find my way to Bald-O's eventually. That's a lot of driving and I hate being in a car for that long.

So sorry for the blandness of this entry as this headache distraction is taking me for a long ride. Either that or seeing Star Jones bitch about her ugly ass being so deserving in being on The View frightened me (possibly small children and 1 or 3 dachsunds watching). I doubt she's ever seen her husband's penis but enjoys a good foot-long dog instead. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07