-Me

Some day. Many would think I am crazy for what I do but I really enjoy "crazy." In fact, I don't feel good if just sittin' there resting after spending several days dealing with major allergy issues. Fuck that! This boy longs to run!

Well, maybe not the running part due to how much I hate wheezing from the lack of excercise over the week. I do, however, enjoy testing to see my strength is still the same. The gym spits out its siren and I answer. Even after a week's absence, I'm as strong as ever. Maybe Sara was right. I did look a little bigger while working out right in front of the mirrors.

FYI: They place the mirrors right in front of you so, NO, I was not hooing and hawing over how hot I look. My blue eyes are so sparkly, no?

I'll admit to a little jealousy within my group of friends. Cass spent a week in the Smoky Mountains and put up pictures on her blog. The views of various areas were gorgeous in making the 8-hour drive worth it. Yes, Cass, I did eat my heart out after seeing life out there where I can yodel all I want without being told to shut the fuck up.

So, my life at the moment? As I said before, I have been dealing with my allergy overload all week. Sara's mom decided right then and there to clean Sara's apartment. Nevermind the fact that I was half-naked while walking around. Let's clean! It's 2pm. What the fuck would I want to do more than clean with my girlfriend's mom before lunch?

From 2pm til around 8pm, I spent some major quality time with Sara's mom after promising to take her home. Her husband did not want to be there, by the look on his face, so off he went with the car. A short while later, I had a shirt on and some actual clothing to feel comfortable in wearing around the apartment. Yes, it's always nice when a mother comes straight at you when you thought that nudity was good for that day.

The kitchen was first as I sat there taking all this in. It was fun to watch Sara's mom go mad as she couldn't decide what to start with. Since it was around 2pm by now, I was hungry after having nothing to eat prior. Off I went to Moe's in search of a Diet Coke for Sara's mom. Pots and pans were making lots of noise by the time I set foot outside.

By the time I got back, I became the advisor as to what to do with various things found in the kitchen. As Sara said, it was nice to know that she didn't find the porn, porn being a Kama Sutra and "How To Have An XXX-Life" by various porn stars. Those were on the kitchen table just moments before Mom made her way in. See? Me half-naked and porn in the kitchen. Things could have happened, unspeakable things.

I think it was around 5pm when Sara's mom and I worked on the living room. Couches were moved to be swept under and I worked on hooking up the new DVD player. All dust bunnies were slayed while magazines were put in place. No porn in this room even though it has been known to harness a few of its properties. The look on Sara's mom's face when she picked up the pin that clearly said, "Reclaiming Cunt," had me smiling. A bit cheeky, eh?

This whole week, I've spent more time with Sara's mom than anyone else. She always insists I come over for lunch/dinner or anything to liven up things. The best is when she's in her own little world making motor boat noises while the History Channel's interpretation of George Washington's crossing the Delaware River comes up. Seeing men paddle away makes me want to make noises as well.

*You try explaining in your best impersonations when it comes to motor boat noises and see what you can come up with*

I've got to say that this whole week went by so fast. I started out with helping on the cleaning of Sara's apartment and ended at an amazing cooking prior to watching Bend It Like Beckham. Watching a chick flick with 2 chicks may not be some guys' cup of tea but it was mine. Anything that shows the lovely talents of Keira Knightley has a way of settling me down. Add that cute brown girl and you've got yourself a full belly where Sara insisted I eat a few red peppers.

Really, there's so much more to talk about thanks to being so busy all week. I'm still recovering from the cleaning that caused me to sneeze and cough a lot more than I wish to admit. Being allergic to cats that insist on being divas in training brings this on. When it's just me in the apartment, I become the perfect place for a cat to curl up next to while reading a book where a witch makes a living chasing bad supernatural folks.

Editor: "Who's the private dick that gets all the chicks?"

I am going to be so sore tomorrow after going all out in the gym and continuing right where I left off on the treadmill. Having Cass back made it a little easier since I got to tell her how great her diary is. Funny thing these diaries are, huh? They help reach a wider audience than planned.

You can certainly see that with my diary. As soon as I made last night's entry, 4 people were reading and then a few more. By the next morning, 11 were reading within an hour's time span. Jeez, I didn't know how much I meant to you guys. Sometimes, I feel kind of bad about what I write about since I know a lot of people don't get everything that I dwell on. Superman? I doubt many of you thought deeply on that movie seeing many weren't even around when the first version came out.

I've got lots to talk about but I've really got to go back for some more Superman Returns, a good flick seeing I've still got emotions picked apart thanks the first appearance of that "S."

However, I will end with telling you what I got Sara for her birthday. Seeing as she's never had someone send her flowers, I made my way down to this really nice little flower place in the richest area of this town. A lady there helped me pick out something I was comfortable with, a dozen yellow roses. Believe it or not, I was going to go daisies but they ran out. Once I got to Sara's, I placed them on her kitchen table along with those books not meant for squeamish moms, 'The Kama Sutra' and 'How To Have An XXX Life.' So, I ask you whether your boyfriends bring you flowers with a side of porn.

FYI: I got a copy of 'Cosmo Girl' thanks to you-know-who ending up on the cover. Picked up some waxing tips and enjoyed the 'Hot Guy Poster.' Wish I could stop biting my nails so they looked as shiny as everyone else's.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07