-Girl at the art reception that was flirting with me.

And so I am back! This was one of the most eventful weekends ever thanks to a visit to one of Indiana's strip joints and a birthday party where I was surrounded by gay males. Unlike our president in a situation like this, I was doing just fine.

First of all, like a lot of males left alone in an apartment with too much time on his hands, I did something odd. Hell, Sara didn't even notice it til I pointed it out to her last night. For some guys, an event like swimming warrants this need. For me, it was a movie called 'My Summer Of Love' that somehow inspired me to shave my legs.

Well, technically, only 75% of each leg is smooth thanks to a razor and boredom while waiting for Sara to get back from work. Boys being left alone with minds all over the place can be dangerous. With me, it's a razor and a chick flick that things get really interesting. Normally, it would be something with Will Ferrell and time spent in a trailer but that's next weekend.

I don't know if I like it. My legs have that smooth look, etc. but with small amounts of hair missed here and there. "Patches" do kind of take that completely smooth look I've always admired on women into not so sexiness. My legs are no different. Plus, they itch like hell thanks to the heat while looking a little off in the nude. My upper leg hair is there while the lower portion is pretty much off. If there is a word for a moron with razor work like this, it's got to do with me.

I'll admit that years ago, it was tempting to shave my head just to see what it was like. Bald-O, a guy that's had a smooth head since high school, was all ready to go in helping me achieve that silky smooth feel all women enjoy when coming across a chrome dome. Knowing what I know now about the itchiness and icky feel in this heat, I'm in no way interested in shaving my head. Lovin' my spiked hair for life.

My hat's off to you girls that shave or wax your legs to get that smooth feel. There is nothing like running your hands up legs like that. When I walked down Sara's apartment's hall, I found it fun for a short while since you cannot help but notice how the slightest wind is noticeable. My 'pits and ass will be the only hair-free portions of me for now while await the ridicule from the boys on my visit this coming weekend.

And so I bring you to the art reception. Sara's old high school wanted to display artwork selected by each artist at a framing studio. As much as I am fine with art, etc. it felt a little off to be in such a small space. Not that it was crowded and all that but each piece needed its own space rather than all wedged together as it was. Plus, it was so friggin' hot in that place.

It was nicer when Sara's parents showed up. For some reason, I didn't recognize her dad that moment he walked up to me due to his hat being pushed down pretty low. I thought it was some guy insisting I give up the chair I was sitting on while Sara was off mingling. It was here that the dad taught me what to do at art shows, stare at something.

Was there anything interesting to stare at? Here and there. Every person seemed to have his/her idea as to what passes as a way to get a view or idea across. The inevitable nude was there but I liked the morbid feel from a gas mask painting called "The Elephant." My first choice, a castle, was much too safe. Things that arent't safe cause conversation and any moment where you have to break up a fight between artists is good. Anyone that takes the time to throw little slices of cheese (almost always served at a reception) at someone that disagrees with them is my hero.

FYI: I ate a lot of cheese because it was good cheese.

Once again, it took Sara's telling me that the girl handing out wine at the reception was flirting with me. Now, I had a little idea that she was since her eyes would follow me around the room. Cute? Very. Bold of her to just tell me that she lived upstairs of this framing business. Am I to just show up and bed her since we all know artists seem to like their sex with gusto?

Sara, I left my dog tags near the bed. Damn me for forgetting them as I like to have something hanging around my neck.

As for why I spent so much time near the girl serving wine at the reception, it was scorching hot in that building. Their only fan that I know of was a small one right near the desk. I'm sure I looked weird with sweat pouring down my face as she kept smiling at me. Plus, I had a lot of cheese in me.

The strip joint? I'll let Sara tell you about her experiences. Just around 4 or 5 hours ago, I told my mom about what she did. At first, my mom thought it was me due to my telling of how I ended up on stage half-naked while a stripper sat on my face to rub her labia's piercing on my nose. To her, it's perfectly normal thanks to having a son that gets well known for his personality, of all things.

There was lots to observe at my 4th strip joint:

1). The girls were in charge. Sammy, you really need to visit one since it's the guys being exploited. The strippers had a mighty hustle to empty out guys' wallets.

2). It was just topless but fun. I'm just not that big on breasts but was soothed when some girls would pull down their thongs to show some major ass. I love a nice toned ass.

3). 5 guys and 1 girl were in our entourage. Guess who didn't want to go home. Sara.

4). One guy got warned 3 times for touching a stripper. Gawd, I was so wanting him to be kicked out since I'm sure being naked like that puts a girl on edge as to how a guy would react. Surprisingly, the place was major in selling booze so this brings up even more issues. The bouncers were very watchful of the girls working.

5). 3 girls were interesting. 1 had a dominance act where she'd play with a guy and then immediately tell him she was in charge. Nice but I loved her toned body and the addition of push-ups to show strengthy while her legs were wrapped around a guy. 2 was super cute. Sara paid close attention to how she kept feeling me up, muscles stroked. Yes, Sara was sitting right next to me smiling at all this. Very cute girl with super sexy breasts (real) that ended my attention with a kiss on the cheek. 3 was the girl that came and sat with Sara and I. Her act on stage was just fun and goofy so I enjoyed the placing of humor. Sara might tell you more about her since the strippers gave her a lot of attention.

6). This was the first time I've ever felt a black girl's tits as my face was pushed into them and rubbed. The coolest thing was this stripper could climb up the pole and descend down very impressively.

7). You may get the impression, as Sara did, that a stripper is big hair and gonzo tits. These girls were regular girls that happened to be very beautiful. People would find it odd that I was watching ESPN on the TV screens as well as them. My guess is that tits don't get to me as much as a good ol' pink taco.

8). 2 guys were placed on stage to be humiliated by a stripper. By "humiliation," I mean written on in marker ("Butt Slut" on the back with an arrow pointing downward and "Man Boobs" on the chest) and slapped with a belt (in one case, a girl handed a police baton to the stripper-that would have been awesome) while spread-eagled against the wall.

9). The strippers all used lotion. I could smell it majorly while my face was being pressed into each set of tits. Being slapped by nipples is kind of a weird need for us men.

10). Various women in the audience had no issues with going topless. When in Rome.......

It was just a fun night as Sara can attest to. She's the one with a major story to tell for that Friday night. It's weird since I'm so neutral on the subject. I don't think about strip joints or any of that type of thing but they are fun to go to with a group. Nudity is just nudity to me since I'm more of an admirer of what a girl does with her body. The push-ups were impressive but tits just don't get to me that much. My real interest lies in the people inhabiting strip joints. Those are the people to watch as they embarass themselves (most do it in a good way).

- - 2009-07-07

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