Cal: "'Gandhi' baked is good. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I'm eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off."

-The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2 people discussing what they are going to do that weekend while getting stoned off their asses)

My little experiment on seeing what running on the treadmill with somewhat shaven legs was just okay. While I felt the wind more as my legs moved quite fast, not enough difference to warrant a continuance. My feelings are that it's nice how various things are more accentuated but the annoyances of itchiness during such a hot day call for hairy legs once again. I'm sure Bald-O would have a field day with me if he realizes what I did but, hey, he's the one that used a bottle of Nair on his head to see if it's better than shaving.

What I did forget to mention was how long it's been since I've wanted to walk out of a movie showing in the theater. This new Pirates flick was bad, real bad. Sure, there were a few scenes that were nices such as Keira in a wedding dress slouched in the mud while it was raining and seeing a few scenes of her fighting Davey Jones's crew with 2 swords. You can even chalk up the pirates having to behave like hamsters in an exercise ball as they run around in a prison made of human bones.

Pirates 2 was just pathetic, though. In the first one, I loved Johnny Depp's portrayal of Jack Sparrow but this one had him more of a moronic slapstick shit that was neither funny nor interesting to watch. You've seen it all before, and possibly better. What I would love to do is ask Johnny why he did this. He's known for not being Hollywood's robot so why behave like Disney is rubbing his balls?

The first Pirates had that cool feature where the bad guys's skeletons would show in the moonlight. Pirates 2 had nothing interesting about Davey Jones and his crew. I love sharks but to see one portrayed as a hammerhead did nothing for me. The whole damn movie was bloated and far too long for my taste as I kept checking my watch during those 2 and a half hours of sitting there with Sara. Damn ears of mine were ringing thanks to sitting near the speakers.

I was fine with Keira Knightley's Elizabeth Sparrow character but I felt like the whole thing was just a walk through here and there. I'm sure that after signing on to play her again, Keira was dumbfounded as to how awful the movie was. Then again, it could be Disney's desire to have the movie out far too early since the director did say in an interview how it was put out too fast.

The public? How the fuck can this movie make that much!?! Almost to $300 million already! Geez, I can understand a big payday for the first weekend when the newness is out there but to continue in raking in cash? Ugh, do people really like dumbed down movies that much? The whole cannibals scene should have been cut out and to stop with this slapstick humor that reminds me of the 1950's movies. The only thing that has me wanting to see the third one due out next year is the fact that a certain someone from the 1st Pirates comes back. I'm a little curious............

Oh, and before I end this raspberry towards the Pirates 2 movie, I'd like to say that Keira looked nice in a pirate outfit. Hooray for funky hats and eyeliner somehow found during this time period. A woman with 2 swords or the ability to carry automatic machine guns is woman after me own heart.

I love how people enquire into my affairs when it comes to Sara. My stylist, once again, wants to know what is going on and whether I will move to Indiana, etc. Long story short, this has never been on the agenda. Period. Remember that this woman thinks a year of dating should bring up the question of marriage. Can we say "issues?"

First of all, I am fine with Sara. If she is unhappy, I have not heard of such a thing. Every couple has fights or little tiffs over things but she and I are still together. There are a few things within me that need to calm down before I dwell on what happens. It's just that right now I enjoy time to myself. I'm not going to speak for Sara but I'm pretty sure she enjoys her time alone as well. Remember that this has been my longest relationship seeing as we are almost at 1.5 years. Some of you have been with me since the beginning of all this.

One of the problems I see with couples is pushing themselves into things that only become major issues later on. Why get married if it's just for the parents? Why change something if what you are already doing is working? What is this need to complicate your life?

Look at it this way. If Sara came here, she'd take a major step by moving away from her friends and away from a downtown area that she loves to walk around. I'd hate to leave my gym and not see Gay Nick and others. Just over an hour's drive is not bad so why complicate things? We're still very young and I have a little more growing up to do. Religious people that think marriage and all that will solve all weird me out, yo.

Would you like to join in on this debate over strip joints that Sammy and I have been going back and forth over? My side is that they are not necessarily exploiting women BUT can. I've seen both sides due to a professionally run one and a nasty one that was basically a place for prostitution.

Nice place: The first 2 strip joints I entered, thanks to a bachelor party, were nice. I was surprised to see how relaxed I felt while walking into one since I thought of a strip joint as a nasty run down place. Nope. It was a place where both sexes relaxed a bit as women, big-boobed and small-boobed, danced. Sure, it's stupid to for women to have to be naked just for money but they exploited guys far more thanks to just the use of their bodies.

The place is run like this. There could be 3 to 7 stages all around. A song comes up and a girl gets on to dance to it. She'll do various movements, suggestive or just plain horrible dancing. Whatever. The whole point is that men will leave with lighter wallets. Morons.

I think that it's if the girl feels completely safe with a guy that she'll let her guard down. Remember when I was pulled on stage and half-naked? This stripper basically sat on my face while rubbing her labia piercing on my nose. Of course, I was being a good boy while holding back my tongue only to inhale that sweet scent of..........lotion. I did not pay a dime and this stripper even came to sit on my lap to tell me I had a "very nice body" while giving me a kiss.

It's the asshole guys I hate. Indiana's strip joint had the guy I mentioned that got 3 warnings from the bouncer on touching. I wanted him thrown out since this will put any girl on edge. How would you feel if you were barely wearing a stitch during such a confrontation?

Just about everyone else was well-behaved and having a great time at the Indiana strip joint. When various girls were walking by, no one reached out to cop a feel. Others were just in casual conversation since who knows. Maybe some guys just want to feel like a pretty girl would talk to them.

Yes, there were girls that have that look on how they're basically thinking of the money they're making off of various people, men AND women. One girl, the dominatrix lady, seemed bored while lap dancing for that Asian guy behind Sara and I. Loved her act but her look of boredom while hustling had me thinking.

I am not the type to inhabit strip joints. They're fun but I don't just suddenly think about how great it would be to have topless women gyrating around me. My gym has a lot of women that look great with very little clothing so maybe I'm spoiled thanks to being used to all this. The only reason I'm in strip joints is as a group. To me, it's just amusing to watch various people and how crazy they go over the sight of naked female flesh. Yes, girls are in there, straight and gay, that love to watch. Why not? Naked women look so much better than the male flesh where we have that dangling thing that flops around.

FYI: Being naked is kind of fun. I'll admit that I have no problem with skinny dipping, seeing as it was a possibility in Indiana when we went to a house with a pool. Too bad it didn't happen due to timing and the parents being very religious. Sara has no problem with other girls seeing my penis but no one is allowed to touch. No touchy! No! No!

The bad: I did get to go to a really bad strip joint in the seedy part of St. Louis on the bachelor party night. It was bad, so bad that Bald-O wondered how safe he was. The taxi driver took us there and even went in with us since he thought the place was awesome.

No, it was nasty. The women had teeth missing and could use a couple years on the treadmill. Nothing was professionally done or handled. I saw one stripper slap a guy that obviously demanded sex. No bouncers to handle a situation like that, just the owners or bartenders whom where already busy. It was fairly obvious that the taxi driver took us there with the possibility of sex in mind.

So, are strip joints a bad place for women to earn money? In some ways, yes, but so are a lot of jobs out there. The major one that comes to mind is teaching, a profession that is quite female dominated. These are people that are notoriously for being underpaid while working nasty hours while superintendents doing nothing make thousands more. I should know sine my mom is a retired teacher. Just the memories of her drilling me on addition and subtraction bring back nightmares on how amazing I was in Third Grade.

Voice your opinions on strip joints. Hopefully, you've been to one. One of my friends from the gym moved 2 years ago when he became a male stripper. People have told me that I should be one but it's just not me. $1,000 a night is nice but women are well-known for the worst in behavior towards male strippers. My cock would be pulled and 80-year-old women trying to lick me turns me off. It's my thought that I'd probably take my penis and pee on every one of those that made my first night a horrible one.

So, I'm outta here. Hopefully, I did my best to inform you at least a little on strip joints. As long as they are safe for people and the girls, I'm fine with them. Being naked is just a weird thing to do for money but with that kind of a payday, the temptation is there. Sometimes, I wish I had tits, seeing as it would be nice to see how men react to a nice set. I've already got pecs and know how they affect girls. Sara loves 'em as should you. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07