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| A riddle: "Brown I am and much admired; *Answer at bottom* Yeah, it was a nice morning where it was cool from the night's rain. Been a long time since I've walked outside without beads of sweat pouring down my face. Unfortunately, I'm still not sleeping. Love riddles? My new book had to be something unique to pass the time seeing as I'm in the middle of Erica Jong's "Fanny," a bawdy tale in which our orphaned lady living with a rich family takes the time to look through a key hole in order to see the penis of a man while he pees into a pisspot, and could use a break here and there. Don't you just love 17th Century stories where everything was so different? Plus, I love riddles even if I feel too stupid to figure them out. "Fanny" is kind of fun. If you're okay with writing that is very close to the type of books you dreaded in English class, this one's for you. Since I enjoyed Erica Jong's older book on the pursuit of the "zipless fuck," seeing her name on a book I found at a garage sale sold me. Long time ago as the book was put away for some time. I've only now just started and will then go into Sara's latest DragonLance selection. Editor: "Weren't you planning on taking a break from books?" I tried. Oh lordy, did I try! Sometimes, it's just too much fun seeing as a good bawdy book of long ago kink can heighten the senses. You know me, girls. I enjoy reading about a woman that can't help looking at penises and talk of that swelling produced down in her "lady parts" while doing so. The boys, back then, had a knack for seducing young women. Start with dinner, read poetry, and introduce them to a swollen prick. It's all relative, really. After all that, I'll get my hands on "Candy Girl" since I'm dying to know what an ex-stripper has to say. Who else salivates at reading biographies where people find themselves in jobs they never predicted? A girl bored from a 9 to 5 job just walked into a strip joint on amateur night, was the worst dancer, but decided to keep at it. How do you get through that dance where the guy is unattractive and awful to be around? Count how many Zeplin albums that money will get you. I'm still dreading the drive to Bald-O's. In fact, those 2 hours and 45 minutes are all I think about as I prepare for my Saturday morning departure through many small towns. There are more run down buildings and old-time Coca-Cola signs than I can count. What I find so odd is that people, complete strangers, will wave at me. Come to my town and you'll get flicked off. Girls, I would feel sorry for you if you had to hang out in Bald-O's trailer. The place is nice and sits on 40 acres of beautiful land..........but.......the bathroom is scary, real scary. There are moments where toilet paper becomes a luxury, baby, and it makes me so happy I am a male. Remember when those cheerleaders came to visit thanks to Bald-O's little brother? I'm pretty sure those girls wiped on his towel since it was the only thing available. FYI: I don't think Bald-O even knows about that but say hello to the large wolf spider that lives behind the toilet while you pee. His name's Al and might even sit on your toes to talk to you. There are times I need sex and right now is one of those times. It relaxes me even if I like giving as well. Eating pussy tends to help take my mind off of things and just focus on what is right in front of me. Slow licking and listening to her moans is just as soothing as watching her suck me off while I lay back on the couch/bed. Ever made a list of what you enjoy in sex? I do that every now and then but mentally. I'll be sitting there in some kind of boring situation only to feel much better when thinking dirty thoughts. Of course, things can get out of control when things swell up like they tend to do when 17th Century males seduced women. That's the point where I must cross my legs and start thinking about Stinky Pakastani bent over on a very humid day. There is one thing not many people touch on when it comes to sex. Humor. Plain and simple, sex does have its funny side. Whether it be the sounds you make while cumming or the facial expressions along with them, how can you not smile over this? Sara and I notice body farting where air is released when I'm on top of her. It all comes from what's trapped between us. Some guys think queefs are the funniest things around but I've only lightly experienced those vaginal farts from past girls. Am I going to get the dreaded conversation from Bald-O? You know the one. It happens where he gets really serious after so many beers. Being a man's man, this is rare so I just sit back and let him talk all he wants in how curiously interesting it is to stick a finger up a girl's butt. Those are his words, not mine. There's nothing wrong with wanting to "stick a finger up a girl's butt" as long as she wants this as well. What makes me laugh is how so many guys are fearful of this due to the worry of being gay. It's an asshole and some people enjoy playing with them thanks to sensitive nerve endings. Hell, I even think women's assholes are cute to look at and see no shame in admitting that. What I'm thinking of doing, if his statement comes up again (would be 3 times now), is to look Bald-O in the eye and tell him that there is a huge possibility that he is gay. Drunk guys give great freak-outs. Plus, I'm giving Bald-O that porn that I found in the locker room a while back. I'm just not a fanatic of that type of thing on this DVD, women peeing in the mouths of guys, so I hope the anal portions will get him to rethink his worries. I still don't know how they got the baseball bat in there but a 55-inch TV might help.
So, I'm outta here after a so-so run on the treadmill. Some people are trying to help me find that motivation again in order to get my heart pumping. That drive is what I need, not over 2 hours of it, but my inner runner. I leave you be as I head on up to enjoy the bawdy tale of a woman on the run from poets' pricks and slightly immoral tales where we are now in a lesbian witch couple's house. Happy twats all around.
Answer: A saddle 0 Got Balls? |
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