-T-shirt slogan I totally believe in

You know what? I was going to do a really long entry tonight but decided against it. It's been a while since I've heard from Sara so, after getting a hit from her on my super dooper secret email address, I've gotta fold a bit sooner than I thought. Real men pay attention in their relationships.

Editor: "Real men, also, don't shave their legs because they are "bored" or abort from watching sports. They also avoid discussing how Top Gun has one of the largest gay themes ever applied to a movie by just enjoying the damn thing."

Sammy, I hear your plight on people wanting to know what's up. It's just that what I find interesting is what people do with their time just as it seems like people flock to this damn diary each day. No one lives my life of goofiness so I try to give it my best shot at describing how I see things. You might think your dealing with the elderly population is dull to us but I find your method of discussion fun. Yeah, who knew the Geritol group could bring about discussion.

Look at it this way. I got a lot of notes/emails on my working with Stinky and Ugly last year. They made a good team and a lot of fun to discuss here on D-Land. Even if I couldn't put up pictures (Oh, you'd look away!), I'm pretty sure I gave you an idea as to how bad he smelled and how awful she looked. Me? I grew bored eventually but Diarylanders seemed to like their endearing qualities.

Then again, you try working with a guy you can smell over 2 aisles away that only Pepe Le Peu would flirt with, a gay one that is.

So, to put it more blunt, I love your diary and all it's qualities you might find boring, you ho-bag, you. Now, show me some jazz hands!

My life right now? One of the girls in the gym will no longer talk to me. It's that gorgeous Indian girl I mentioned in the past. We've been quite friendly but her fraternity obsessed boyfriend seemed to have told her to no longer acknowledge me. Sad. This doesn't bother me since any girl that takes orders from a moron like that is not worth talking to anyway. At least, Gay Nick still finds me purty.

Speaking of Gay Nick, I mentioned to him Lance Bass's coming out of the closet. He wasn't surprised but would like it known that he thinks Justin Timberlake is gay as well, or at least bi. Well, he did talk of eating out Britney at some point in time. Gay Nick is good at pickin' 'em out so no boy band members can hide their flaming homosexuality from him. Justin, come out and get your angry penis.

I certainly don't envy anyone in California since they wake up in pools of sweat each morning. That heat wave must have everyone walking slower in fear of making themselves perspire more. We're just going through a major humidity wave. Today's nasty storm would be a good example since you wouldn't even know we had one. Right after, the sidewalks were dry while branches torn off of trees were all over. You'd think Zeus farted but not Venus's taking a major piss on us. That woman pee'd like a racehorse today.

Some people are addicted to Project Runway. Others are into West Wing or Reno 911! Me? I'm still into MTV's Making the Band 3 thanks to lusting for Aubrea but enjoying the emotional toll Aundrea has in a long distance relationship. Is it at all manly to admit that I found myself angry at a boyfriend that wouldn't listen or seem to care when his girlfriend called for a little support?

I know it sounds like a bit of pompuous bullshit but I figure that I'm easy to get along with. Not much drama. I'm quite friendly and keep my promises. So why is that all my girls out there keep telling me that their boyfriends can get nothing right? I, sometimes, worry that they let things escalate or don't stand their ground. Then again, some girls thrive on drama. Having a sweet guy can get boring so an asshole is needed to take his place. Sad.

Oh, and if you want to know why girls broke up with me, all I can say is that there is an age where everyone seems to move in other directions. A lot of girls I met were more into gettin' wasted in bars or full of themselves. I'm not one to hesitate in walking away even though I've never broken up with someone.

Kristan and Jen were different so those 2 are the ones I speak most highly of.

So, like I said, I was going to do a much longer email but I haven't written Sara in a while. My whole thing (or issue) is that I don't write someone until they write me back. Let's just say I had a problem in my past and didn't realize it. I'm always busy thinking that if he/she hasn't written me that I'm no wanted. Why push or even try to talk?

Hope this does it for you tonight. I've got plenty stuff to talk about soon since we all know how I love to get all graphic on sex and how much I adore Conan O' Brien. Oops, cat's outta the bag! Besides, shortening this gives me more time to read Fanny's adventures in that book I mentioned I'm reading. Lancelot and his gay Merry Men have left her in a tizzy after being chased through England's underground tunnels during an orgy. What girl wouldn't enjoy that? Chalk up a new cute bag and no girl could. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07