-"Buttons" by Pussycat Dolls

The scorching hot facts are in. Today's temp was 96 degrees (you were just hoping I'd go all Nick Lachey and say "98 Degrees," am I right?) but the 63% humidity made the whole day feel like it was 106 degrees. Whoa! Every second spent outside was just hell. Sitting down with my dogs outside found me with a massive amount of sweat down my back in a matter of seconds.

Does the humidity keep me from the gym? Hell to the fuck no!!! Everyone in there (Monday's are pretty packed) was sticking to whatever little clothing they wore. Guys had enormous amounts of sweat sticking down their backs while the girls little shorts made it look they were walking around in a panty and bra set. Told ya, you don't have to go to a strip joint since that's what my gym basically is.

For some strange reason, I'm getting used to the excess heat in my gym. Never mind outside because I try my best to not sweat in an area where I am not meant to. The gym is my second home so I'll leak all that I need to. My wife beater and undies have to be wrung out each day but I'm getting used to all that as well. Just need to get the pail.

Of course, having Cass back in my territory makes the workouts better. Her teasing me about how I lift on a machine is fun since......it does look kind of odd to be so slanted. Cass'll do about 30 pounds while I do, yes, this is true, 195 pounds. The weird thing is that my body screams for more. Well, as long as Stinky Pakastani is not around.

The good and bad:

Good is I've made a new friend, an former cheerleader from our university. You know me. I just cannot go without mentioning the movie, Bring It On, since I know every fucking line in it. Who knows if the girl feels sorry for me since just talking about that movie gets me so excited I just cannot hide it. Seems okay since she did wave at me when I left.

Bad is that BB Nick is back. Hate this arrogant prick. He eyes me and I eye him. BB Nick may be the second best bodybuilder in my gym but I'm bigger. It's this weird jealousy thing that guys have, only slightly like girls.

Give me shit for this if you want but I watched Amanda Bynes's 'She's the Man.' I find her so cute and with the addition of soccer being the sport shown, what the hell. The first 45 minutes are just okay but it suddenly has a few funny moments later on. Yeah, find a guy that will admit to watching 'She's the Man' and I'll let you chase me while I only wear a pair of socks.

Potential jury duty coming up. Do you wanna hear about that? I didn't think so but I settled down over this fact with a box of Teddy Grahams. Honey, baby, honey.

Not to sound like most typical diary on her because, yes, I seem to find "Today, I am so horny." Well, dammit, I am! My body may not enjoy the heat but I've been swollen up for sex each day this past week. Morning wood? Now a typical occurence as the purple headed warrior wants to pop my buttons on my Calvins.

I hate being so driven by sex. Driving has me thinking how nice it would be to have a handjob while at the stoplights. Waking up in the morning to a slow blowjob would ease things down there. Then there's the enjoyment of being naked in front of Sara since she loves to just play with things down there. I love it when she watches me cum.

Susan Powter: "Stop the insanity!"

How many have moms that call your best friend? Mine did today. Why? "Just to chat." Bald-O and my mom always want to talk but, surprisingly, it's not so much about me. I think she wants him to have a girlfriend. While I may want Bald-O to achieve his lifelong dream of sticking his finger up a girl's butt, my mom wants a girl to help clean up his health. I've seen the power of women help the male achieve fitness.

Then again, this is the south we're talkin' about and the women spit and pee outside just like the guys do. They just have to know which plants are poison ivy since no girl wants an itchy strawberry between her legs.

Yeah, I can't wait to get my little ass to Indiana. Sara wants me sweaty or not but will hand me my deodorant if things get really bad. My left 'pit is the one that can get really bad for some strange reason. Just gives you another excuse to shower together. Am I right?

Oh, I'd like to make it known that I miss news, the news we used to have. What's going on in the Middle East is bad but the reporting is making the U.S. look like nothing's happening in it. I've learned more about rockets, mortars, and even all the streets in Israel but I miss hearing about the idiots willing to cut off their penises for cash. Plus, I hate to see Anderson Cooper in any kind of danger since he's one of the best young white guys we've had in years when it comes to reporting. Gotta keep Sammy's sex dreams of Cooper alive.

- - 2009-07-07

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