-The viking chant from the credit card commercials that I love.

You, my friend, are lucky. While I thought about not doing an entry thanks to the fact that the lovely new issue of 'Playboy' came, somehow I found my way here. I'm sure you'd think that it's the nudity presented by Miss September that has my mind (or cock) in a tizzy but I can assure you that is not the case. What I want to do is read the Playboy Interview with Michael Brown, the guy that cared more about his clothes than the thousands of people at death's door thanks to Hurricane Katrina. Great timing for 'Playboy' to interview ol' Brownie and his "heckuva job."

My day? Possibly a great one where I was in pursuit of wife beaters and need to savor my tabloid insanity. In case you don't know what that means, I was found in Wal-Mart (I hate that place but it's the ONLY one that sells wife beaters in my size) and the local Barnes. While people drank coffee from the cafe, I was loungin' in a chair wondering if Nick Lachey will ever get married.

With a quiet house, I needed that kind of chaos, finding wife beaters and hoping for a nice picture of Jessica Alba's gorgeous ass. No such luck but I did get to see a few new pics of Keira Knightley hard at work on her latest flick. She's a bad girl in this one and do I need to tell you that my heart flutters? Bad girls soak their panties more and you know how I just love panty puddles.

The reason for the quiet is simple. 3 little dogs went to the spa where they got haircuts, their nails done, and everyone came home with a Brazilian. Yes, even Jethro saw his dick hair go bye-bye. My mom is very comfortable about talking on the subject of my dogs' genitals, especially balls. What's funny is that I never got any sort of sex talk as to how things are done, just dogs' balls being the closest.

While on the treadmill running with that beautiful Indian girl, I saw a news story on a kid that beat autism. Is that true? I'm curious on the subject of autism since it's so new to me. I've read so many news stories in the past few years on the subject that it's slowly gotten to me. My friends that became teachers tell me all the time about how they have to deal with an autistic child and how difficult it can be. Not once have I ever met a kid with it.

Yes, I ran like hell even if I wanted to walk instead. That Indian girl was chugging along at such a good pace that I matched her speed of 7rpm. I'm glad I did because I felt even better afterwards. Plus, I would have felt like a slacker next to her. My competitive nature can get to me but this was in a good way. Although I didn't talk to her (we said hi earlier), I caught her looking to see what speed I was at.

However, not all was well. I did one of the weirdest embarassing things I've ever done. As far as I know, no one on Diaryland has ever admitted to this. Accidental name drops during orgasms? All the time here on Diaryland. Embarassing farts? Daily here on Diaryland. But falling asleep on yogurt? No one does it better than me.

Yes, I fell asleep on yogurt and woke up with it on my chest and the crotch of my shorts. Good thing I didn't walk outside with this since it would appear that I found a copy of 'Hustler' and decided to lose my load in my shorts. This all started thanks to not realizing that I had spilled yogurt here and there on myself this afternoon. Why Dannon makes their yogurt containers so hard to get the spoon in is beyond me since they always scrape portions off, portions that fall on me.

To end this, how do you gals feel about circumcision? The newest issue of 'Playboy' has seen a large number of letters from both sexes on this subject. For the men, it's more along the lines of brutality to take away that small amount of foreskin on the penis. We're born with it so why not keep it? Women, on the other hand and this brings in most of them, like circumcision due to the penis's better appearance. That turtle coming out of a sock look isn't as appealing as a large helmet head right there at the moment.

I never thought I'd see the old circumcision debate come up. You'd think that after years and years of accepting the fact that it's a common event we'd just drop it. It's like I've encountered over and over again, women don't make it their mission to view penises. It's the one they are currently sleeping with that means more to them. Of course, that includes appearance and the common one is circumcized. Is it any wonder why I love to shed my clothes so fast or the enjoyment of feeling my zipper fall?

Oh, I must be off now due to preparations to sell my comics. Tomorrow, I'm testing a few things out by putting up just a few. In a way, I feel like I'm losing some of my best friends, especially Spider-Man. Those days spent in the library (of course, I checked out books, too) on the carpeted floor and lost myself to a world of Peter Parker being chased by weird people bent on taking over the world were so good to me. While it's nice that comic books are more accepted, it's time others get to enjoy what are only collecting dust in the storage room. You so know I'm going to take a few pictures before they leave me.

I'll be leaving for Sara's tomorrow early evening. College is right around the corner so I hope people have some good sex stories to tell soon since Diaryland sure has lost the lust. Doesn't anyone stop bitching and enjoy a good fuck on the kitchen table while the dog looks at the two of you confused? Guess it only happened to me. Plus, I'd love to read about how amazing Will Ferrell's Tallegada Nights was. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

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