-V For Vendetta

London may have major terrorist issues but, here in my town, the mayor called in the Feds to catch a squad of turkeys. No joke. We have turkeys on the loose that only proffesionals can handle. This might involve sitting on house's roof for a period of time, though, since turkeys tend to enjoy these moments of looking down at us pathetic humans.

Child: "Mommy, why is that well-dressed man sitting on our roof with a gun and a walkie-talkie?"

That statement above reminds me of the humor in An American Werewolf In London where a small child visiting the zoo had his balloons taken from him by a naked man. Yes, I know I have strange humor. "Weird" is what Sara calls it.

So, a visit to Indiana, anyone? Interesting start of an evening with a visit to IHOP (or "HIPPO" to Sara) where our dinner was interupted by rude teenagers sitting behind us. This rudeness was not at Sara and I but to the waitress. My guess is that most were stoned, 3 out of the 5. Sara felt so sorry for the waitress having to deal with all this and kept telling me to "tip big."

Spoiled teenagers. Not that these kids looked like they had a huge amount of money but just a tendency to be loud and rude. I really, really wanted one to come up to me and try something. None did, of course, because the biggest one took a look at my arms. Any kind of urge to mess with me died right there. The t-shirt I wore may have hid a lot but the forearms obvious largeness with veins popping gave it all away.

Editor: "In case you didn't get the memo, this boy knows the gym!"

Plus, I glared at the kid when Sara wasn't looking. Nobody should be that rude to a waitress that is trying her best. My next visit to "HIPPO" will have me ask her how things went that night as I would assume Sara will do so as well.

I love baseball here and there but not in large quantities. In this diary, I may not talk a lot of sports so I'll say it in the best way possible. Playing football beats watching because just about anyone I know cannot play worth shit compared to me now. Watching baseball beats playing because I now suck. Working in the infield is scary so I was always a catcher.

FYI: I loved playing catcher and even took hard hits while waiting on a pop fly. In this moment, I had to keep in front of the plate while a man will be charging towards me to knock me down. No one got past me.

In Sara's town, the Colt League World Series took place. This meant a good time in the stands to watch some baseball played by kids too old for Little League and much better than moi. Watching their impressive fielding just kept reminding me of how old this makes me feel. Ground balls can be tricky so ending up with bruises on your shoulders is a good way of showing this.

2 games were watched by Sara and I. Her roommate came for the second game but the format was still there, observe how incredibly similar all teenagers are. These kids, obviously the popular crowd, all wore the same things. Girls were in tight tank-tops and tight jeans or cargoes. Boys were loose cargoes and polos, some with the collars up (in other words, retards). Why many of these kids bothered to go to the game is what I didn't get since so many were more interested in what was on their cell phones.

As for the games, again, they remind me how much I cannot play baseball anymore. No home runs. One team had the tiniest members but won anyway thanks to fancy pitching. Fast, too, since you could really hear the ball hit the catcher's glove.

Sara was busy asking me hundreds of questions as to why things are done in baseball. Color of uniforms? Why do they have meetings at the mound? There was even a discussion as to the size of my penis. I implied "nicely endowed" while Sara insisted I was barely able to fit in her mouth. See? Nothing is sacred between Sara and I when it comes to a good discussion on penises while baseball plays around us.

Notes: Sara's sunglasses were stolen and I had my first elephant ear. Never found them interesting to eat since I always go for gyroes at baseball games.

Okay, people, we have a Hedgehoggy approved flick to discuss! Okay, I like weird stuff and things that make me think so I've been dying to get my hands on Brick, a little known detective thriller that's been described as "weird enough for the Donnie Darko crowd to consider." It's damn good.

Brick's basically a mystery set in a high school where a loner wants to solve it all himself, Brendan. The death involves his ex-girlfriend while the odd characters constantly bombard you with their oddities. Let's not forget the dialogue. You're gonna need to think a bit when discussion take place between Brain and Brendan. I understood it all but to give you an idea, "bulls" are what the kids call "cops."

Brick got noticed at Sundance. I noticed it thanks to it's neat-o trailer found on a Focus Pictures DVD. Parts of it remind me of the weirdness of Twin Peaks (Never saw the show but I am haunted by various images from it) and my interest in how various places have an effect on you. The characters? My favorites were Brain and Tug. Tug is not going to leave your mind for a long time since any white boy that dresses like a thug and walks like that is............you'll see. Sammy, I'm curious as to what you think about Brick.

Now, go rent Brick but look closely. You just might get it. If not, give it another chance for it's not filmed with the usual high school crowd in mind. Just who is using who?

Editor: "Or those people expecting something along the Lindsay Lohan variety."

Oh, in case you are interested, the latest female celebrities pictured with upskirt views are:

1). Ashlee Simpson

2). Lindsay Lohan

I'm amazed at how some girls have no idea as to how to exit a vehicle when hundreds of paparazzi are trying to get their pictures. Good thing Ashlee and Lindsay were wearing panties but, surprisingly, they were white. Yet to be on the rag or maybe they just learned from Mischa Barton's ill-fated attempt to wear white during her period. I still feel sorry for her.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07