-Hard To Kill (that Steven Seagal movie that is shown every fucking day on AMC)

I've just come in inside after feeding the largest spider found on our wooden deck. There will be a time where I must get rid of all these large webs springing up everywhere but I wanted to see the girl in action. She didn't disappoint once I flicked that moth into her web. It was a fast run down the stairs like a fat kid being told the ice cream man was coming. That moth was poisoned and spun around in lightning speed.

Now, I know you're supposed to let nature take its course but I just have this fascination with those downtrodden animals and insects no one likes. Spiders get too much of a bad rap since they help rid the world of mosquitoes. By the way, I have yet to be bitten by one on my wooden deck. Coincidence?

Thank you to all that congragulated me for my 2,000th entry that made its debut last night. A whole fucking hour it took me to crank that sucker out with a small outline prior. I'm sure there are some that wonder why certain things did not make it on there but I was pretty poop'd out. It was the next day that I thought about my first time in a strip joint but, then again, I already talked about it earlier.

Another reason is that I had been on the 'Net all fucking day (as I was today) thanks to thie Ebaying thing. Thank you for the notes and guestbook signings. I'll get back to y'all when things settle down on Ebay. It's that selling comics is a bitch and a half thanks to 20 emails a day asking for the following:

1) Can you send me a supersized picture of *insert name of comic here*?

2). Does the comic have any dinks? Are the pages white?

Now, being a good seller means you are going to have to deal with customers no matter how idiotic or annoying they can be. 20 emails wears me out and that's only by the afternoon! We've had to take more pictures just to please the masses of nerds, geeks, dorks, losers, and trolls living in their parents' basements.

I was tempted to do my original description for each comic. It sorta goes a little like this:

"Look here, fucker! I put this different colored small magazine in a long box and away from all the animal feces lying around. There are no marks bearing the likenesses of Cheetos (all nerds masturbate til they fall asleep under a poster of Wonder Woman-Linda Carter, you sexy thang!), Twinkies, or Ho-Hos (I never liked them but went ga-ga over Suzy-Q's). There was no smokin' the chronic with a couple o' ho's I found on I-95. Of course, I made sure they were at least 18. You think I'd let a little girl still obsessed with Judy Blume schizzle her nizzle with my main man, Spidey? Fuck you! All comics were untouched by ho's and my own hairy palms. Peace out to my nine."

*Sammy, yes, I would love for you to help me in the marketing department. I'm sick of these nerds sending me 20 emails within a 5 hour time-span. Will blow kisses at you and hope that an old guy makes your day with sudden break dance moves to a song by Cassie.*

Ebay is kind of fun, though. Don't let my battle with nerds turn you off. It's just different when you have a product like a comic book where every little corner has to be in perfect condition, just like you bought it 20 years ago. Yeah, some of these things are older than that. What's even funnier is if you take a look at the price you might have paid back then, say 60 cents, and you sell it for $50. You've made a nice little profit. Of course, once you get through taxes, it's a little less.

So, that's why my 2,000th entry was something I had been dreading all day. There is a limit to how long the 'Net is fun in a 24-hour time period. I'd rather be outside running around on this cool day than talking to those that cowar at the sight of woman. Hell, they'd probably allow a girl to have control of the remote, something no sane man will ever do.

"No, we are not watching Lifetime ever again! This channel goes into the same list as Oxygen and WE are in. Bad, woman!"

The saddest part? There are a few good shows on the Oxygen Channel.

So, I visited my local gym for a quick workout and hoping to see Old Nick. It's only on the weekends that I get to since his weekday times are too early for me. Of course, Old Nick was there but also my girl, Tamallah, whom finds it fascinating that I know just about every bit of 411 on what's going on in the rap world. Go, white boy, go, white boy!

Everything was fine until I saw Stinky Pakastani come out of the locker room after changing. My luck got worse thanks to having work out around him. Ever seen a man with a big ass? Stinky Pakastani has a male ghetto bootie and even takes the time to cop a feel of himself. No joke as the girl in front of me laughed about it as well.

To end this, I'm finding a weird love of this UFC (Ultimate Fighting) where men just beat each other senseless, all sanctioned, of course. It's pretty new to me since I used to avoid this stuff like the plague. But when a show on guys trying to make their way into the UFC also had a deaf guy named Matt, I got curious and found myself wanting to know how he deals with this. Think about it. Matt has no idea that the bell has wrung so how does he know when to stop hitting the guy in the octagon? I left off when one of the guys pee'd on another guy's headgear as a joke. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07