-Dr. Seuss

As much as I'd love to get into a major discussion on pussy control, namely what I've learned on the 'Net and how women are making major money with it, I've just come inside from helping chase down my neighbor's dog that got loose.

It all started when I got home from the gym. Here I was enjoying a nice long hot bath to rid the stinkiness that overwhelmed me only to be thwarted by my frantic mother telling me that we need to find a dog. That dog, being my neighbor's, must be found since I would not sleep all thanks to my fear of it being hurt in some way. Ask any pet owner and their ultimate fear is that it would meet a too early demise, namely cars.

Running all around the 'hood was what I did after the gym. Never mind the pain in my right foot thanks to sore tendons (or something of the like). I spent much time looking all around for this medium sized black dog that kind of looks like a German shepard.

Oh, adventure! There was little until just a short while ago. The moment where I spent looking around the 'hood ended at some point so we all hoped for the best. It doesn't end there because my dogs started barking frantically several hours later. My mother, then, hands me a leash and orders to go out the front door in pursuit of dog. The only problem is I have no clue as to which way it went.

Folks, there was a chase, although rather short, since dogs are much faster. I had it cornered 1-block down but turned cowardly on tackling it once it darted towards me. Damn, I was embarassed but we now knew it was in the area. Hooray for my dogs because they barked to let us know of any intruders. Nobody poops in there yard but them.

Ah, but something was amiss and I felt many eyes watching me. I stood there in my backyard waiting for Bonnie's alarming barks. At some point I caught sight of something odd with my flashlight. Spiders. I'm not joking when I tell you that I almost ran into 3 VERY large ones that made webs all around my backyard. Even my mom was freaked out over these fat multi-colored spiders. It's almost like they were suspended in mid-air.

While I was standing there looking rather cheekily in front of me like I done lost my mind, guess who shows up? The chase was on, once again. Me with flashlight along with 2 of my neighbors. Lost it again but I knew that something was up when Clyde (the other half of the duo) let me know that there was an intruder. Carefully avoiding the large spider webs shrown all around my backyard, the three of us enclosed the dog.

All: Hooray for Hedgehoggy!

Now I can sleep better knowing that our neighbors' dog is safe from cars and the rain that made itself known while running around the 'hood. I'd feel so bad if I didn't take part in all this.

As for those spiders, I've very rarely seen any as big as the ones that have now made my backyard home. If you count the ones on my wooden deck, that's 4. Add the 3 huge ones in the backyard and you've got yourself 7 of 8-legged critters that would cause many women to scream. Once we had the dog, the neighbor took the time to look at the largest one planted right in front of the gate.

The size? About as big as my thumb is what I'd consider the biggest. It's close to an orangish-brown color and has no fear of you coming right up to it with a flashlight. Going out to the side of the fence brings a large hairy grey spider that scares even me. It's just the appearance alone that has me staring at it. Be careful moving around the large tree in the center of the backyard because that's where the next one lives, similar to the largest one in looks but not as big. I came very close to running into it while chasing after the dog.

Even I am pretty cautious around spiders, especially since I don't know what types these guys are. You better believe I am going to look 'em up soon.

So, as you can see I am a little worn down from chasing after the neighbors' dog. Plus, Ebay gave us problems for an hour. I really need to rest for a bit so I'm sorry for making this an non-interesting or silly entry. A dog is far more important to me than the 'Net.

Editor: "Let's not forget that someone's birthday is coming up........who can it be? Who can it be?

Hopefully, I'll be back up to par tomorrow and not chasing dogs or dreams. If I've got enormous bites on myself, you know what happened since I just cannot help myself when it comes to the 4-legged and the 8-legged. Pussy control in the future? Back to Ebay. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07