-"Maps" by Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs

That quote would go perfect with my little discovery. It took me a bit of time, thanks to it being dark, as to how the largest spider was able to make a web that would would appear to start in the middle of the sky. Seriously, there looked to be no point where it could start so you'd think this spider beat gravity.

Picture weird guy with large flashlight looking all around til he shouts out, "Ah-ha!" *Seriously, I did but without a "crikey" so sorry, Sammy. No Crocodile Hunter for you* All the way from the large tree in the middle of the yard to the large bush was how this spider gets around. The full web, once I got the flashlight to give me an idea, was enormous, bigger than even I thought. No wonder this girl is so fat. Bugs have no way of realizing that my backyard has become a graveyard.

FYI: There is a pile of dead bugs near the ground where the spider webs are, basically just the shells.

I came very close to walking into the grey spider's enormous web. The reason is that it's located on the side of the house and in darker territory. It was when I was looking for the dog that I saw it reflect off my giant flashlight. Lucky last night and lucky tonight. It built a bigger web.

Yup, I am just so damn amazed at how crafty these spiders are. They pack up their webs when the sun comes up (birds would swoop down and gobble 'em up) and work on them once the night falls. Stomachs need to be full and it's no likely these spiders have missed a meal.

So, this week will find me transporting spiders at some time. What I need:

1). An angry mother (to hold the flashlight)

2). 1 jar

3). Gloves (Spiders bite very fast and even the non-poisonous variety can be painful. I know because I've had lots of bites on my back)

My mom has completely left me to this on my own. This makes it harder since I need the light directly on the spider. Yo, it's dark out there and this may be the only time I'd allow Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, to come visit. I worry that his accent may influence me to skinny dip with an otter or to wear short shorts.

Seen the nude Lindsay Lohan pics? All I have to say is...........wow! Notice in the back of the hotel room that there is what looks like cocaine while an almost empty bottle of Jack is on the bed? There's more so it's fun to try and figure out just what this girl does to get so "exhausted."

Pussy control? What is it? Simply that a woman can completely control a man thanks to what is in between her legs. Vaginas have toppled empires and caused the stronest of men to fall to their knees all for the simple act of touching, smelling, penetrating, and tasting it's uniquely perfumed forest. A real good example is how men will be so careful with money only to blow it all at a strip club thanks to a thong and bare tits. If it's an all-nude strip joint? Empty wallet, confusion, and needing an alibi.

The 'Net has a whole new form of pussy control thanks to making sex so easily available. Well, I wouldn't call it sex but the sight of nudity sure as hell drives a person with 2 balls and a penis into a weird fury just as 2 tits and a wet cunt can as well. Let's just say that women are so lucky to have the more beautiful of the 2 genitals.

Thanks to the fact that I have some incredible selections in various websites, I can pretty much find anything. Many have never heard of that Transformers movie trailer I mentioned due it being hidden so well. It's now shut down. It's due to my fave websites that I keep coming across girls making a hell of a lot of money by putting up their own websites consisting of just them. Again, I am jealous that all you need is a hot or semi-hot body and computer skills. I'd say 90% of these sights are girls because who'd pay to see Hedgehoggy naked?

Hands down, Hiss............and Hoar.

Pathetic men of all sizes (most likely of the large type with a bowl of ice cream and laughs at Garfield funnies) pay up $50 a month to view pictures of various girls. It's no wonder porn on the newstands aint selling. A horny body only needs a password and credit card while his pants are down to his ankles.

I'm not dissing, although I do hate how pathetic males behave when it comes to nudity, because it's just good marketing skills. Many of those skills come from time spent in the gym so you can see why I'm kind of jealous. $3,000 a week just for 4 various poses in which you get to see my Notorious B.I.G. and 2-Pac would drive me to think about exploiting myself.

It's just pussy control. Period. There are 3 girls that seem to have a tight reign on the 'Net. One of them is my ultimate fave and I'll tell you why in a minute. One is non-nude but so famous for her large real breasts hidden behind wet fishnet tops. The other became the most famous but opted out at some point. I'm pretty sure I read that this girl was so ashamed of all that she did and wanted everything forgotten about. Poor girl didn't understand what a harddrive is nor the power geeks hold when not presented with another 6,000th shot of her legs spread.

Hell, I'm not saying I am able to avoid these websites. No, I don't pay $35 a month but, thanks to a website that carries everything that gets me bouncing off of walls, people post up the pictures themselves after saving them. When I caught sight of this girl I cannot take my eyes off of, it just made me want to stand up and say:

"Maybe, I do like a little porn."

I know, I know. I'm not huge on porn seeing as you won't find much of anything in this house other than 'Playboys' but I don't even consider those porn. It's just that this girl has it all in how I like to see a naked woman presented before me:

1). She smiles. I hate the boredom look and this girl seems to have so much fun while posing. It's no wonder a lot of guys go crazy over her.

2). She's so cute. Those big brown eyes and very small breasts with a toned tummy thanks to either years of gymnastics or cheerleading keep me in awe. Her asshole is so pink! Oh, I know how weird it is to say that but I think girls' assholes are fun to view since you can't miss their being good neighbors to the most beautiful and scented flower of all.

3). The poses, a mixture of playfulness and erotic drive me nuts. Sometimes, she does a short lap dance like thing and smacks her ass for fun. I'm sure a nerd or 2 fell out of his seat while masturbating with one hand and eating Doritos with the other. The point is that she is having fun and it's so obvious you don't question it.

It's just a weird world to me on how powerful the vagina is. A girl can be safely at home putting up pictures to keep the income coming in. She doesn't even need computer skills because someone could do it for her at a price. Exploitive? Of course, but people are wanting to do anything to be famous or just make enough money to hang out with Hollywood. I'd probably pull in about 83 cents from some old lady wanting to see me in a banana hamock while dancing to Roy Clark.

So, I must be off and wondering if I should find myself in Indiana someday soon. Some of my clothes were left there and that's just off in some way. Girls are the ones that are supposed to leave their underwear at their boyfriends' houses not the other way around. After all, it's the sweat of my balls that seems to get my dog, Ellie-Mae, to pull out my undies and run around with them proudly. Hopefully, I'll get around to something I discovered about fetishes being advertised. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07