-Stephen Colbert

Wanna know my day? C'mon over, folks. It's another amazing rip roaring ride where 1 out of 2 cats meow at me after a little dog pee'd on the welcome mat. A college student in the gym made the comment that I am extremely pale compared to him. Cass is now going to be in the gym pretty much everyday so my gym buddy list has gone back up. Hanging out with the elderly Old Nick can be fun since the girls (college and 40-year-olds) adore him and his toned ass that will never settle. E has gotten around to using the elliptical and somehow not losing concentration as she waves at me. Meathead's gone missing but Tika and Tasselhoff make me look like a total science geek.

Got all that? Oh, it's been a pretty good day that started with me having to go to this special postal place for Ebay users. Yes, my 2 favorite guard cats were there, Callie and Coco, making sure no one removed a box without waking up their lazy asses. Callie has gotten to insist on getting attention while my comics are shipped (Don't you just love saying "Bubble me!" in reference to bubble wrap?). My eyes got a little hazy once I gave Coco attention. Being allergic to cats sucks but these 2 are so beautiful.

The next thing I know, a little dog comes running out towards the business's door. It's a mixture of a Maltese and Shitzu so think small. She pee'd right there on the welcome mat and got a scolding by the owner. Being a dog owner, I know all too well that these things happen. Of course, being a dog owner, also meant meeting this little dog and the lady that adores her little PISStol.

Found out Callie and Coco live in the store. No going home for them. They just live in the small store by alternating on which boxes to sleep on. Weird. Their missions are not based on being mousers so that makes cats living in a business even stranger. If I had my choice, I'd take Callie home, very friendly and attentive.

I'm getting used to this shipping various comics thing but I'm thinking of changing a few things around. I have been using a whole box for 1 comic book. 1 FUCKING COMIC BOOK! It's weird now that I look at it more closely. No envelope but the person gets a whole box where he/she has to sort through paper and bubble wrap for that one thing Ebaying was worth it all. You could look at it as crazy (like me) or think that I put such loving care for my customers.

Sammy, I saw what Nick said and I agree with it. Ebay will be closed up til late October so then I'll sell some more. I really need to make room in this storage room because clutter is something I do not like seeing.

So, I'm pale. Big whoopie-teh-doo. A fraternity guy made the comment to his friend while I was busy pushing down a full weight set. No, I was not bothered by all this since my type only seem to come out at night. The moon seems to grant me superpowers, yet my whole goal is to either be able to fly or stick to ceilings. Many out there would insist on having x-ray vision but even I would get tired of seeing more camel toe than I need to.

The funny thing about the guy that made the comment on my being pale is that I think he was embarassed. First of all, I look pretty big when I'm pushing down over 200 pounds. You could tell when he came up to show it was all done in humor. My paleness doesn't bother me since his so-called "tan" was basically a burn. When you see someone like that, you ask if anyone smells bacon. Some fraternity guys get on the chubby side and forget to turn over when placed on the grill.

It's great to have my girls back in the gym to work out with. Cass and E were 2 I saw every now and then over the summer but will be back fully thanks to school. E was a little weary since I didn't go up to greet her this time. Me being my goofy self, that's pretty much what I do everytime but I wanted her to put some work in. Smiles, big fucking smiles came from E as she waved. It was impressive that she didn't fall off the elliptical.

Elliptical: Exercise equipment that makes you legs move in a circular motion. Works ass and legs quite well to the point that you will be completely worn out once off. Me, I felt like my ass was a bag of bricks due to the major work out it got.

Cass was Cass, telling me about her new outdoor activities. I've told you how she runs with the wolves by running for miles in the woods at anytime. Now that her job is over, it's back to school for Cass and more time making fun of me over how I insist 80's music would have a little Winger in it. You just cannot go wrong with "Can't Get Enough" and "Miles Away."

So, I'm wondering if I leave for Indiana tomorrow. Sara's been on the worried side due to my behavior over the week where I had the stomach flu and various other things that kept me from being me. Nasty week that I'm amazed I didn't get completely into. I say a lot on Diaryland but not everything. Boys don't gossip. They do naked cartwheels when happy.

Spider count: Tika and Tasselhoff are still the only ones around. Meathead's gone missing and I just might have to file a report on this. I *think* Illinois has a 1 week waiting or it could just be 48 hours. I'm thinking that she either packed up and left or a bird got her, a big hungry bird because Meathead was on the hefty side.

Ever looked at a spider's web? The design is startling if you look closely. Tasselhoff's is best described as that all while she sits in the middle awaiting her prey. A while back, scientists wanted to see what would happen to the web if spiders were injected with alcohol. The results? Kind of like if Billy Joel and Courtney Love were allowed to drive together, lots of crashes through houses and old people missing their medications. The webs were a mess.

Lesson learned: Don't allow spiders to drink and spin and friends don't allow Billy Joel to drive. Plus, don't allow Courtney Love any medicine that might make her expose herself while on stage. The sidewalk is okay.

Sara asked me about what it takes for a girl to impress a guy. I've been debating this in my mind every now and then and will come up with what matters to me soon.

As for that Ebay I mentioned, yes, there is one for pervs. I shit you not. People put up all sorts of things that others would look to in disgust. Now, I don't know why a person would bid on a suffle' with cigarette butts in it but underwear is not surprising. A lot guys love to smell a girl's worn panties and girls are making a total killing on this. Damn, I wish someone would bid $30 to smell my balls but, once again, women are the lucky sex on making money off of pervs. My dog, Ellie-Mae, still rummages in my dirty laundry for things she can run around the house with.

Ebay for pervs:

-Used toilet paper (I nearly fainted at this one.)

-Urine stained socks (In case the male missed the bowl again, he pee'd on his socks so we might as well sell 'em. Good lady thinking since men shouldn't be this terrible with aim.)

-Used tampons (Girls can make much moola each month off of those cramps. Used tampons are great for warding off bad omens and flavoring a dull drink.)

-Jars of pee (Again, it's mostly guys that buy this since girls are, like, so special when it comes to urine. They can pee on sticks that cause it to magically change colors. I miss the bowl by one inch after a late night drinking spree in college and my roomates yell at me.)

-Jars of semen (I'm not even going to comment on this one since I cannot fill a jar. That porn star, Peter North, could. Lucky bastard.)

Pubes (Finally, something I could sell! Who's want my 'curlies' and what would they do with them? I'm thinking a nice wig for their dog.)

Worn shoes (Foot fetishists unite. What is so sexy about a woman's feet aroma? Feet are cute but.....*scratches head* I just don't get feet as being an erotic part. Sara loves wrists so.........)

So, I'm outta here as I wonder how many of you gals are now rummaging through your dirty laundry with hopes of making thousands of dollars. Ebay kicked out all the pervs a while back since it doesn't want anything that causes 'overly sexual excitedness' on its website. It's just their way of kicking off the fetishists since they don't know who the real customers are. Pervs are welcome here, seeing as I am a tops in Google under 'Rope Bondage.' Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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