Shopkeeper: "Not unless you think round is funny."

-Raising Arizona

Ever had a day where you can spend 70% of it sleeping? That's my day, today that is. Woke up late and spent what feels like the whole day sleepwalking. Never mind the fact that I did over 100 push-ups and many sit-ups to try and force myself to wake up. I only ended up falling asleep while reading a magazine and Buffy was passed out next to the window. I'm sure we looked like a couple of winos.

Of course, I came home from Indiana yesterday so it could be some kind of driving-lag. Their time zone is 1 hour ahead and each time I visit I find it difficult to just add 1 fucking hour to my watch when asked for the time.

Sara: "What time is it?"

Me: "Uh......it's (looks at watch with a confused look on his face when faced with the fact that he must add 1 whole hour to his watch's time of 4pm).....uh.....5pm."

Plus, Sara is a night owl and that pretty much clashes with my normal time of sleeping around midnight, far too early for her. We did end up talking in bed for a long time on Thursday night. How many others out there find most long conversations take place in bed?

FYI: Sara got eatin' out, eatin' out big time since this boy was starving for that wet strawberry.

But today, I've spent time cleaning up my room thanks to a little dog that finds time to spit in her waterbowl and pass out in front of the window while looking into the neighbor's yard. All in a day's work when it comes to my little dog, Buffy. I haven't even discussed the occasional farts, belches, and snoring. I still wish my mom had called her "Boogers."

And dogs, oh, I had to go back to visit my neighbor's 6-week-old puppy. Hell, I even took 2 pictures of this cute fuzzy little girl. You folks can do your thing with babies and all that but puppies and dogs make me assert myself with strange noises. My clean white t-shirt had puppy paw prints all over so it was time well spent.

Sara laughed at how I'd love for her to verbally freak out Bald-O. You know him and how I've told you that much of his sentences are pussy this and pussy that. Well, I'd love to see how he'd react when Sara lets loose with her dirty side by talking about angry throbbing penises, sopping wet vaginas, fingering, semen dripping off walls or curtains, pussy stains in panties, veiny penises, licking/sucking balls, semen ejaculation distances, anal sex, sticky handjobs, and my favorite one that had me laughing:

"It smells like ass!"

That's Sara's take on my wondering on how Bald-O's need to finger a girl in the ass goes. Is it his curiousity on the feel or is the smell included. Sara put it best and I'm sure Bald-O's hopes that a girl's asshole smells better than he thought. Anal sex is so old news since everyone has done it in some form at some point.

Again, it would just be funny to see Bald-O's face when it comes to Sara's vocabulary. She and I can talk extremely dirty like it's nothing. Bald-O would be a little apprehensive since most girls he knows do not talk so openly about such things. Poor guy has never met my female friends in the past because they are close to being just as bad. One nearly made me fall down the stairs when she blurted out how much she loves anal sex. I was so innocent back then to how kinky this world has gotten.

The funniest thing happened on my last visit to Bald-O's when I told the boys about Sara's need to go topless at the strip joint. Yes, those boobs were out and money was collected just for her. I was fine with it but Bald-O said it best:

"Would she show us her tits?"

Boys and boobs. They are what makes us males act so strange, fat deposits that go up and down when a woman is moving forward depending on how good the bra is. I'm not sure if Sara is so willing to just whip 'em out for the boys. It'll probably go along how American Pie 2 did it best, make the boys work for it. I'd have my camera ready when Bald-O and Mark kiss each other just for the sight of Sara's mammary glands. Whoo! I am so on point.

I watch weird movies every now and then so I keep a good eye out for cult classics. One that I had heard about due to its soundtrack still making a killing in sales is Vampyros Lesbos. In case you can't understand the title, this means "Lesbian Vampires." Weird little flick where a female vampire leads a woman to her Island in hopes of seducing her into the coven. The blood used was completely fake but the girl-on-girl loving was fascinatingly ahead of its time. You just have to remember that it's 1971 so the bushes are massive.

If I was still 13 and watching Vampyros Lesbos, I'd have a hard time standing up due to having all 3 b's, boobs, butt, and bush. Oh, what a movie to start achieving those first major erections to!

Remember that $202 comic I sold? The guy that bought it sent an email that stated how the condition I kept it in made it worth every penny. Never mind the fact that it was only worth $100. I took amazing care of it for over 15 years, in a condition that you won't find very easily these days. It's nice to know a person appreciates what I did and I hope he does so as well.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07