-The Naked Gun

Catching up on normal life after 7 days of being away can be tiring. Due to my non-need for people contact, my laundry is finally getting some attention (Yes, my dog, Ellie-Mae, continues to run around with my undies and socks) and things are finally starting to become routine again. Am I the only person that just has to go back over old newspapers for fear of not knowing the nation's activities?

There is a chink in the armor, of course. Upon further inspection, I found out that my little dog, Buffy, threw up all over my room. My chair had it, along with the sides of my bed not easily viewable unless you peer down. Ugh. A lot of things got washed today, namely the 3 throws I have on top of my bed that I use for covers on warm nights. Trust me. These Playboy throws are super soft but my nights of sleeping alone completely nude are over.

So, today? Mostly catching up on finances and running errands. I'd rather lay around but my body is just now starting to face the run down effects of the road trip. Not once was I sleepy in Indiana but up early in the mornings after Sara and I's late-night bedtimes. Weird. Can you pro-long the need for sleep?

But you know what? I have yet to explain the road trip with as much detail as I can do. So, here goes.........

Around 2pm, a rented car found the 4 of us, Carrie, Chris, Sara, and I on I-65. 10 hours was what it would take for us to reach South Carolina. You could say that our arrival around midnight made it right on the dot, even after a few stops for pee breaks and food.

The first stop for food at a Wendy's in Kentucky took an interesting turn. This being impossible to even pull into the main parking lot all because some jackass bastard stopped to talk to someone made our fun turn a little sour. Chris honked the fucking horn but he didn't even budge. What kind of idiot does that!?! Loved it when Chris decided to play with the guy by blocking him from moving his truck by standing there in front of it while doing nothing.

Balls: Pissing off a large jackass in a truck. No gun. No muscles or weapons to back yourself up or look deadly. Just a skinny pale white kid with a cell phone.

Of course, I watched in case things got out of hand. We were in Kentucky, after all, notorious for rednecks and freaks (not of the good kind). It's been so long since I've been in a fight but I sure as hell aint going to just stand there. Plus, even if it did happen, Wendy's would be a great way to recharge energy after losing a few teeth.

As I said, rest stops are my main way of knowing where the hell we are. Most have a map located in the center of a cleverly divided place. Men go pee on the right while ladies pee on the left. No hanky panky, people! There are cameras and people are most likely too tired from driving to fuck. The woods located in the back of most rest stops are perfect for that kind of thing. Just watch out for dog poop since there are so many dogs also going on road trips.

Sitting in a car for hours can play with your head. Not once did I fall asleep, just a few times where I nodded off for a few seconds. Sara lay on her side to sleep with her head in my lap. Sometimes, I stroked her hair while other moments I ran my fingers down her side. Do you know how hard it is to do all that while reading?

My attempts to cop a few feels of Sara's naughty parts got my hand slapped. Like I said, too much time spent in the car will play with your head. Any other time would find Sara placing my hand up her skirt.

So, 10 hours. Where are we? In South Carolina, baby! Finally, the four of us have made it for a short rest since our wake-up is for 5am. It takes us a little over an hour to get to Atlanta and we want our entry badges without waiting over 2 hours in line. Only one problem.

There is no toilet paper! Okay, let me break it down for you. 2 boys and 2 girls. I have allergies and need to blow my nose big time thanks to a cat in the house. Girls.........well, you know what girls do in the bathroom with toilet paper. The only amount we had in the house was very minimal at best so any desire to poop was now placed on hold.

While standing there next to the living room chairs since Carrie was in the bathroom (I don't know where Sara and Chris were at this point), I noticed some sort of motion to my left. Said motion darted under the couch but my curiousity was already picqued. I wasn't sure but my thoughts on what I just saw was what I was hoping for.

Kittens. Well, 2 of them, one orange and the other grey/white but all cute. Oh, it's been so long since I've had kittens to hold. No one knew the the owners' cat had them so this was a fun surprise.

Until you try to sleep at night in the living room but only end up with 2 little balls of furn deciding that your toes are perfect toys, kittens are absolutely perfect. Sara and I slept in the living room's fold-out couch in complete darkness. When I mentioned that something keeps striking my feet, Sara used her cell-phone's light to see what it was. The kittens would dart away but I'd catch one eventually and place on the bed for major attention. They are cute even if they keep you from getting any sleep.

Sleep. I had about an hour's worth before our leave to downtown Atlanta. Sara got into her Mystique (X-Men character) outfit while Chris kept cursing how late she was. Me, I woke up last but was ready to go in only 15 minutes. My body felt like it got a nap but I'm used to putting it through moments of tiredness. Watch me in the gym.

Just over an hour's drive found us in Atlanta. Don't know where to go in regards to a convention inhabited by nerds, geeks, dweebs, losers, and gamers? Follow the folks dressed up as their favorite character. Walking around the downtown area, you'll find Star Wars characters like X-Wing pilots, girls from the Harry Potter movies, a lot of Batman and Robins, and whatever else is found in sci-fi lore. It was there. It was all there and more.

A geek convention requires badges, cards to get you into various areas. At $30, I'd say that this was a cheap price for the amount of memories and opportunities presented before me. Not only do you have the safe feeling in this heavily populated area (since when do geeks break out in fights or set fire to furniture?), you get to see people have that one day where they can feel good about themselves prior to going back to school and receiving atomic wedgies. This weekend geeks rule. Jocks suck.

The convention itself was in 2 hotels so a lot of walking was needed. At first, this was fine but after about 3 hours.....your feet hurt bad, real bad. One hotel had comic book artists and various panel discussions or movie memorablia for sale. The other had the celebrities to meet or buy autographs. That's just not me. Being told to pay over $20 after spending mucho money just to get there is mean to fans.

Needless to say, I didn't get many autographs. Even the celebs that I was hoping to run into were not there at their booths thanks to being in a panel discussion or out to lunch. Nicholas Brendan was one I'd like to see in the flesh but gone temporarily. I did get happy when Summer Glau was to my right signing someone's copy of the movie Serenity. She looked so nice and, yes, I have a picture of her.

The one surprise I have is Brandy Ledford's picture. She looked great in it and, yes, I know I'll get shit for this. Brandy was in Baywatch, the Hawaii version that didn't last long. It was the only one I watched thanks to the cute redhead that drove the helicopter and Brandy's badgirl character. Brandy took notice of me when I took a picture just prior to her sticking her tongue out playfully at someone. Hell, she even waved at me.

I am The Dude.

So, who was with me at during all the convention walking around? Sara and I were all over. Me being so hard to decide on something right then and there, this was extremely helpful. Do we go to the gaming section? Does Sara need to see me drool over pictures of Keira Knightley (I bought 5!)? Just how many t-shirts does a geek need and should I stare? If you answered "yes" to all of these, you made a good call.

One thing I'd like to point out is the huge amount of S & M toys and various places selling items that relate. You'll see women wearing corsets or short leather skirts that totally reveal their panties (I got one picture, only one!). Sara even took the time to test a paddle on my hand. People involved with porn were there, of course. I guess girls may be scary to nerds but, hey, DVD players were made for a reason.

If you are a geek or you're like me, does not look like a geek but geeky inside, you really need to attend a convention like the one in Atlanta. There is so much to see and take pictures of. The people that share a love of a certain film, namely Star Wars, Serenity, Star Trek, and Monty Python, love to talk about them.

While in line at the local Chic-Filet for lunch, I noticed a guy dressed in Aliens garb. Me being a total fan of this fine flick (Sara calls it "predictable" but she WILL learn!), I just had to play around with the movie's dialogue, something I know due to seeing Aliens over 30 times.

"Goin' on a bug hunt?"

This guy looked at me with a face that was highly amused. He knew exactly what I was talking about as we waited in line. Now, I could have gotten lunch at a much faster place but I was having too much fun reciting lines from Aliens.

"Game over, man. Game over."

That's what Hudson says when the Aliens are obviously going to get rid of the marines no matter how much they prepare for the fight. If you look at the marines' outfits, this is exactly what the group of guys are wearing at the convention, complete with M-190 short burst rifles and underneath grenade launchers. Baby, I know my Aliens flick and I must admit to wishing I could join this group in dressing up as a marine.

FYI: I have a good picture of the guy I am talking about thanks to him being happy to pose while we waited in line.

- - 2009-07-07

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