I'm a bat and I fly. Those flying squirrels are more jealous of me as I swoop on by ya. That sudden gush of cold air? That's me! Only I need a little rest so I use those cute long toes to hang from tree branches. Witness Sara's insane amount of giggles over this and my explanation about evil hamsters.

Just for fun, I ask how well you know me. I've always played around with quizzes in magazines (Hellloooo, Cosmo on a dull day!) so let's see how good you are.

1). Which actress do I have this insane lust for that many on Diaryland make fun of me for?

a. Sandra Bullock
b. Ashlee Simpson
c. Keira Knightley
d. All of the above

2). Sara uses a very key word to describe me. Which one is it?

a. Insane (That's just on a good day!)
b. Stupid (but in a good way)
c. Loose (no morals and sexual for all)
d. Weird (Don't they all?)

3). What bug did I place in my 1st Grade lunchbox to take home? It meant throwing out mah lovely snack pack and actual lunch for school.

a. Stag beetle
b. Large grasshopper
c. Monarch butterfly
d. Fat caterpillar

4). Bald-O is afraid of one thing about Sara even though he's yet to meet her. What is it?

a. He'll lose his best buddy to marriage.
b. She could do better than him in a farting contest.
c. She might comment on his housing facilities (trailer)
d. He wants to continue leaving his dirty undies around.

5). Bald-O asked me a funny question after I visited a strip joint with Sara. Which one was it?

a. Was it all nude and did I misplace my finger?
b. Did I cause an explosion in my pants?
c. Would Sara show him her tits?
d. All of the above

6). When I was little, what was the first actual outlook for me when it came to employment?

a. Ninja (but a good one)
b. Veterenerian
c. Bus driver
d. Armpit noise maker

7). My first kiss was with a girl named after a great Elvis Costello song. Who?

a. Molly
b. Sally
c. Cindy
d. Veronica

8). Again with the names, what is the name of the girl I lost my virginity to?

a. Kristie
b. Kristan
c. Christine
d. Katherine

9). What habit of Sara's makes my jaw drop?

a. Butt scratching
b. Need to dance, The Robot, at every street corner
c. Road rage
d. The number of Oreo cookies she can place in mouth at once

10). What is my favorite sex position?

a. Cowgirl
b. Missionary
c. Doggie style
d. All of the above with a midget to tickle my balls

11). I was taught by nuns. What was a form of punishment for me?

a. Heavy makeout sessions with them.
b. Spankings
c. Kiss on the cheek to them
d. Sitting in the front with a dunce cap

12). What fellow Diarylander have I had a crush on for ages and she knows it?

a. Zu-Zu
b. StepfordTart
c. Hiss
d. Sammy

13). What Diarylander told me that she had a dream of me wearing a little French maid outfit?

a. Zu-Zu and SummerRoll
b. StepforTart
c. Hiss
d. Sammy

14). I had one of those rare "Dear Penthouse....." moments. Where was I standing with my penis out and getting it sucked?

a. Apartment hallway
b. Park
c. Zoo
d. Concert with people watching

15). What bodypart of mine has Sara discussed with others on how large they are?

a. Ears
b. Nose
c. Balls
d. Feet

16). What has Sara complained about when it comes to sleeping with me?

a. Snoring
b. Excessive farting
c. Sleepfucking where I'm always fingering her as I sleep
d. Smelly feet

17). What has Sara introduced to me that is a lot of fun?

a. Ice cream down the buttocks
b. Toejobs
c. Handjobs where my semen drips off of walls
d. Spanking

18). Why do I love to eat pussy?

a. Smell
b. A love of licking
c. The view of it
d. All of the above

19). What can make me go all googly-faced and sound completely un-manly-like?

a. A puppy
b. Freshly baked rolls
c. Babies
d. Talk of marriage

20). If there was an orgy, whom would I invite to attend with Sara and I?

a. Zu-Zu
b. Stepford Tart
c. Hiss
d. Sammy
e. All of the above

Bonus: Why am I called "Hedgehoggy?"

a. My pubes are spikey
b. It's a nickname from a college friend on my hair
c. I have a love of hedgehogs
d. Someone didn't know my name so she called me this

So, how good are you? I'll place the answers below.....................................................................................................................................................................................................la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

1. C
2. D
3. B
4. A
5. C
6. B-My ninja obsession came later, to those with sharp eye)
7. D
8. B
9. C
10. A
11. C
12. D
13. C
14. A
15. C
16. A
17. D
18. D
19. A
20. E

Bonus: B-It was a nickname from my RA way back in college. My hair was much spikier than now.

So, I hope this quiz was at least a little fun. Sara's at work right now and I'm just passing the time. I'll be home sometime because the reality of work will bring me home. Plus, I miss my little dog. Thanks for taking the time to know who I am. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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