-Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom

I'm noticing that more and more people are starting their diary entries with quotes. It kind of makes me want to stop that even if my reason for doing so reminds me of the greatness of that is Stephen King. 'It' had all sorts of cool quotes throughout the story that I picked up on how they fit. Voila! All the cool kids are doin' it.

Note to self: Small amount of dried up tossed the cookies in between the seats. Apparently, the thought of red hoodie getting all of what the flu hath brought did not work. Clean up immediately.

Well, ah do declare that 24 hours later and I feel like a new lamb. Maybe not 100% but being along the lines of 95% makes me feel some small amount of spiffiness. My new goal is to fall asleep before 5am thanks to wondering if the brain is trying to ram itself out of this here ol' skull. Since when does the flu cause a nasty headache?

Sickness. It's a funny feeling, yo. Last night, I was awake most of the night thanks to one hell of a headache. Just like that, around 5:30am and it's all gone. My body needed so much sleep to catch up on since passing out gave it little. Am I the only one that feels more safe while ill underneath a Jason mask and Lost Boys poster? Vampires and serial killers help keep the nightmares away.

Plus, I've had to make it up to my dog, Buffy. Yesterday, I got a lot of attitude from her over the fact that I did not take her out for a walk once. A lot of moping around the house and dirty looks until I felt well enough this morning. 24 hours of not being able to do jack shit makes a guy like me realize how I take movement of any type for granted. Buffy gave me major props for all that time I allowed her to catch up on her p-mails. Plus, she got into an argument with a schnauzer.

So, what's up? What Sara and I did on Sunday was attend a 17th Century reinactment of the time. In other words, men wore whigs and the women wore large dresses while toiling around a large pot filled with ham and beans. There were musket rifles, swords, and horses. I must be the only one that finds the muscles on such an animal to be so magnificent.

Basically, the town throws a gigantic feast like celebration on the Hunter's Moon. Lots and lot of people would set up shop to sell items from the time period like swords, jewelry, blankets, hats, ale, arrowheads, and so on. You get the idea that everything must be kept to this period of time, something I like since it just wouldn't feel right to see someone playing an Xbox 360 while the oldest son is out defending the fort.

What I thought this event was going to be about was a gigantic eating festival where large amounts of food from various countries would be presented before me. There was something like that in Canada so that's what I had to compare this possibility to. A large man would overlook his guests just as I ask him while holding a small pot:

"I want some more."

So what if I'm a fan of Oliver. That damn "Pick A Pocket Or Two" song is so much fun to sing.

I must say that I had a blast at this feast event. It was bigger than I thought it could be because we walked and walked and walked all over this gigantic field set up for such a thing. Upon entering, my first interest was in the small amount of goats located in a pen while Sara called her friends. Animals? I'm so there.

It wasn't just the people involved that dressed the part but also people attending for the fun. A lot of them wore breeches and large dresses while walking around underneath the blazing sun. How a person could wear such thick clothing is beyond me since I had to roll up my short sleeves due to the heat.

Somewhere around 2pm, I was pretty much worn out and willing to leave. Luckily, I thought against such a thing when music started playing because a section edged off by hay had Indians dancing. Too bad it was short lived because Sara and I came upon all this right as it was ending.

Being a little lazy, I stayed seated while Sara took off on some short errand. There was hay and I had already walked a bit much. Sore feet will make me lay there no matter how many times I grinned thinking about Sammy's note. Yes, I was thinking about it only to get all happy-like over the sight of not 1, not 2, but 3 large black Newfoundlands carrying sleds. These were dogs being used as examples in how they carried things during that time period. I had a different interest.

When I was a kid, my neighbors had a Newfoundland dog named "Woofgar." Larger than I at that time and you can see this in a picture we have somewhere in which 5 of us are bathing it as it sits in a large pail. Good times! I knew all about these large dogs and while other people might think it disgusting when it comes to the amount of drool......I find it funny to watch. They are so docile so it's no wonder Woofgar would just sit in that large pail and allow 5 kids to give him a bath.

I didn't pay much attention to what the lady was saying in the microphone, needless to say. My whole interests were in the 3 large dogs being paraded around for people to pet. Of course, they were pulling small sleds while the ladies wore large thick dresses. I later found out that these people came all the way from south Michigan to attend the feast. 3 large dogs on a hot day in a car. You get the idea.

Well, Sara and I left at some point to see other things but we weren't far. Once the showing of dogs was done, a dance took place to show how the men and women shook their asses. Actually, there was no ass shaking since rap was not invented and Jefferson was too busy with the female slaves.

A fiddle and away we go! You know what's weird? I have a certain fondness for the dancing because it's a set pace and fun, unlike what we have today where women have to deal with guys suddenly thrusting themselves into their asses. Back then, they also didn't have to have metal detectors because the idiots that got kicked out of Chicago weren't around yet (Oops! Sorry, that's a personal story for my town). You just place your hand in hers, twirl her around, and hope she doesn't fall down or else you're gonna have to pick her up, dust her off, and hope she still thinks you have a nice dowry.

DFEs: Dance Floor Erections, something women have to deal with when males suddenly think they should just grab a woman's buttocks and grind their crotches into them while she is dancing. Don't laugh. It could happen to you.

My absolutely favorite part was when different countries were represented in a march complete with flutes, drums, and all that jazz. Green, blue, red, white, and whatever country you could find for that time was there. It was all very well done in the marching formation while the drums gave a nice boom to it all. I used to play drums so I have a soft place within for those guys that don't get as laid as often as the bass player or singer.

Unless, they are Tommy Lee..........

I must quit here since I want to read a bit. So sorry for not laying out a good rant towards Foley and how porn stores do more good for the world than churches. It's just that I need a wee more rest before unleashing hell. You know me. I'm such a fool for pissing people off or looking for new ways to flirt in instant messages that involve large black dogs or a few parrots and golden hamsters. Puke clean-up tomorrow! Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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