-Yoda (stoned, of course)

Two beautiful things happened today. First, a fellow gym devotee brought her new puppy to the gym, a miniature schnauzer. I may not be a fan of the breed but this tiny thing was so cute. Babies do nothing for me but this little dog had me, dressed in a sweaty wife beater, acting like a politician looking for the soccermom vote. How many others out there got some tongue from an unknown dog?

The second has to do with my discovery of the Encore Channel from this newly purchased satellite subscription. It plays old movies and somewhat new ones all day, many good while others bad but worth a look during boredom. Today's showing of the 80's Flash Gordon brought back many, many memories. First, you have this very alluring sexual imagery that is not quite apparent when viewed at a young age. But now........oh, lordy why didn't I see this!?! S&M was all over the place!

For all of you that have never seen this very fascinating tale that has been called the "poor man's Star Wars," Flash Gordon was just an unforgettable cruise in a galaxy where men with wings fly, a young Timothy Dalton was a Barin (yes, that is the spelling), and all were slaves of Ming, the Merciless played by Max Von Sydow (He was perfect). It's old so you'll have to look past the ridiculous feel.

Plus, you've got the music of Queen with that, "Flash! Ahhhhhhhhhh!" That soundtrack is pure gold.

The strangest thing is that I'm pretty sure Flash Gordon was my slight sexual awakening. You know the drill, when a young boy sits in front of the TV only to realize that his penis has a mind of its own. I was so into the woman, Aura, Ming's daughter, as she did her best to seduce Flash behind the Barin's back. Sam Jones for Timothy Dalton? Anyway, that actress who played Aura was so unbelievably gorgeous walking around with those smoky eyes. That movie just takes me back.............

The gym was a little different today. Besides the little puppy visit, we had an accident. While I was doing my preacher curls (you sit on a bench that is kind of like what churches use to pray on but lift weights upward for the lower portion of the bicep), a guy training to be a bodybuilder was benching 130lb. dumbbells. Unfortunately, his left pectoral had too much strain put on it and gave way. The weights dropped to the ground and crushed water bottles. The guy's left pectoral was so strained that he had to leave.

Now, I have a slight fear of injury, knowing I've been there in the past. My right bicep is not what it used to be so doing standing bicep curls with 70lbs. is pretty damn scary at times. People stare at me in either admiration or like I'm a complete freak for doing so. For me, it's the challenge that drives me in seeing how far I can go with these arms.

In case you never set foot in a gym, the average individual male uses 35lbs. in dumbbells. It is very difficult to reach the weight I use because many people's bodies are not able to handle such an amount. Backs get broken while picking up or shoulders give out. Believe it or not, I was not built for all this so I had to slowly apply strength for every muscle in order to do this.

The count so far:

-Damaged right bicep that can feel twisted every once in a while.

-Lower back gave out a couple times

-Shoulders have popped out 2 times each.

-Weight bench dropped on my finger only to leave a scar.

-Broke right foot playing baseball in college but still went to the gym for my workouts. Neither snow, hurricane, nor cold can keep me away.

There is a website that I go to due to my sneaker addiction. Yes, the lovable Air Jordan gets many, many lustful shoutouts by weirdos like me. However, my time spent on it was more out of a general discussion board on the 'Net. Somebody started a collection of the funniest things found aroung the 'Net. I've gotta say thank you to all those that spend their lives on this thing or I wouldn't have seen the shit that I saw today. Who knew babies are convinced they know kung fu or that some black guys riding motorcycles need to remind their girls to pull their skirts down. Because people driving a Honda don't want a large black ass kept together by a thong as the first thing they see on the interstate.

What I didn't know was that women can pee upside down. Someone posted a picture of a famous gymnast doing her flip on the balance beam while also peeing. Fear? Stress? You know how those lead to doobies and doobies lead to the most dangerous craving of all, Twinkies.

Of course, I feel sorry for the gymnast. Her nation's paper printed a picture of her right next to the one of her peeing while doing the flip. Instead of a great big picture like they do for employee of the month for places, it's the scariest of them.

"Hey, look! I peed upside down today!"

Maybe that puts me friend's talent of peeing in a small jar while driving as fast as she can on the interstate to pick up her drunk fiancee that somehow ended up passed out on a riverboat. True story. These two were going to be married the next day but the male within needed to get drunk with the boys on a boat. Got left. Woman needed to pick him up with little time left or the boat was going to leave. Drove fast, had to go, found a bottle, pee'd in it while driving, and saved her fiancee. Been married ever since. Some women know how to win a man's heart and, yes, she loves to tell this story.

Other than that, I've spent much of my day a bit angry. For some reason, various memories where Sara said some very blunt things to me on various visits keep coming back. I'm at a point where I feel like a project in that I am to change all sorts of things to suit her. If I dare tell her my feelings over certain things she does, I am told to accept them.

I'm tired of people making me feel like I can't do anything right. I've been in enough relationships where I feel like I'm somewhat taken for granted. I'm going to stop there because it's stupid to place this up here when I should be talking to Sara. Unfortunately, I've gotten myself so tired from being mad all day.

So, I really need to be off and get closer to finishing this DragonLance book. Books help take my mind off a gloomy day of a biting wind that keeps pounding on me while I walk Buffy. I question her lack of knowing the world because she got in a fighting stance over the wind's blowing a water bottle toward her. Dansani didn't stand a chance. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07