-'Belle de Jour' by Anonymous

Today was not a good day at all. While I enjoy a good summer rain, October's is just plain nasty. A trip to the local bookstore to cool off after a rather trippy workout finds people all over running through the parking lot as the cold drops hit hard. Plus, there was the addition of the sky going dark rather fast. I don't even remember seeing any light today.

Of course, the cold October rain means that it's perfectly fine to sit there and enjoy a book or movie. That is, if you've been good to your body with a hard calorie killing workout. Biceps and then onto 'Belle de Jour.' The finale? To visit the ladies of The Woods, a movie where the woods are supposedly haunted and silently killing the girls at an academy supposedly run by witches.

Lucky McKee is a fine director. Ever seen May? No, he is a rarity that can balance horror with drama. The Woods is not necessarily completely scary but something builds up your need to know more. A girl that got kicked out of her old school for setting fires (It seems like all of them do) is forced to attend an all-girls school in the middle of nowhere. Only the woods is all around while a very sinister group of women run it. Almost sounds like my private Catholic school days.

FYI: I am only 50 minutes in so I cannot give a thorough account on what I've seen. The Woods is nice, though, as I love how the director keeps some good suspense going.

As far as Abominable, last night's horror movie, I loved it. Man, it's been a while since I've been scared in more than one place. Sasquatch was a cross between funny and horrifying. One guy got half his face bitten off by him after some time spent jerking off while holding onto the trees as peeping of a nice gal enjoying a shower went on. Busy boy. Plus, a parapalegic guy saved the day. Handicapped people don't get this much credit so Abominable gets thumbs up.

Of course, that leaves 'Belle de Jour,' a book Sara bought for me on my birthday. Basically, the cover says it all: "Diary Of An Unlikely Call Girl." It really is just that, a girl that cannot find a job in Europe suddenly finds herself making ends meet with doing naughty stuff with clients all while keeping a boyfriend. Not surprisingly, he's not too keen on her work but loves her. The only problem is when friends want to buy their way into a threesome.

'Belle de Jour' isn't completely about sex and all that. There's plenty of life's little observations that slightly remind me of Helen Fielding's 'Bridget Jones,' another little book I read years ago ('tis was okay). The admittance to our most perverted fantasies as nothing frightening is kind of funny while hoping her dad doesn't accidently ring her up can be seen as more than a scary moment. Coming across your dad after a client has just peed on your face is not the way to go.

And Guiness is on its way out? Shocking to us Americans. We pretty much always think of the Irish as a bunch of drunken louts that find themselves in crowded pubs to sing along or dance a jig while holding a pint. You know the old saying: "A pint and a fight equals a great night."

But it's true. Guiness, that beer that I'm not willing to say is great because it's slightly nasty, has been losing its appeal. Pubs are now changing into flashy bars where..........*gasp*...the Irish are drinking wine! What the fuck!?! Even the old jigs are disappearing. If I were to ever visit Ireland, I'd hate to find that it's become more like our American bars, corporate but with a side of puke.

FYI: I've always pictured a real Irish pub as one where I'd come across varioue locals involved in a fistfight over a soccer match or who's mom is uglier after she's passed out in a rain puddle. That's what I expect and what I wanted to see as a tourist.

In case you are foreign, Jimmy John's is a simple little sandwich shop for those too lazy to make exactly just that. The bread's nice but nothing to skip around the table to. The ingredients are just the same lunchmeat you'd find at the local deli but we Americans still go there.

Just like I did for dinner today, found myself in Jimmy John's only to see a guy take out his gum and place it on the food counter. All day, I've been thinking about this and wonder how much in 'bad ingredients' I've ever swallowed.

Fact: All hamburger has some fecal matter in it. Discuss amongst yourselves as to how many turds you've eaten this week.

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