-Vincent Van Gogh

I'm in the middle of Abominable, a movie where the monster is Sasquatch/Bigfoot/the Abominable Snowman. You've got your recent parapalegic thanks to a fall off a mountain, 3 hunters upset about missing livestock, a caretaker for the guy with the just now broken legs, and........5 hot college girls getting together before 1 is married. You just cannot have a horror movie without tits, yo.

Ever seen the classic, Harry And the Hendersons? It had Jon Lithgow and his family come across Bigfoot one day. Somehow, it became a part of their family even while causing occasional havoc. C'mon, you've got an 8-foot harry guy that possibly smells worse than the local dump. To a little kid like me, it was so precious and full of the humor I love.

Mom: "It's male? How do you know?"

Teenage girl: (looks down)

So, it's kind of weird to say that this is my first horror movie where our dear ol' Harry has gone carnivore. You'd think that "eatin' out the chicks" meant something kinky but he really eats 'em out, possibly with a side of Chunky Soup.

Abominable is not bad, not bad at all. Normally, I get bored with horror movies but this one has a different bad guy so why not. It aired on the Sci-Fi Channel earlier this year in a much censored version. DVD = let's show some tits and ass. Bigfoot cranks one out while girl showers. Damn, he must have had a good time because the trees were swaying while the parapalegic watched with his binoculers.

FYI: I still love Harry from Harry and the Hendersons.

There are certain celebrities I care nothing about. Paris Hilton, Brandon Davis (not exactly a celeb but you see him with them), Jessica Simpson and her sister, and more than I care to tell about. When these people are caught in an awkward position or shown in an embarassing manner, I don't care how mean it is. You deserved it, fucktard.

What I laughed about is the picture of Lindsay Lohan with what is obviously a very large maxi pad adorning her cooch. Normally, I'd be repulsed at the paparazzi shooting such an embarassing thing but I just cannot stand this girl insisting the world worship her lazy ass. Plus, if you are going to wear something that shows your black panties as you get in a vehicle, think. A girl should always be aware of what to wear if it's a day spent sopping up a mess down there.

As a guy, I'll never completely understand menstrual products. Like the incident where Gene Simmons's daughter thought her dad needed to be taught a lesson, it's always an odd thing to walk into a grocery store and see "Always-$7.99" on the scanner. I have no problem picking up this product for a girlfriend, etc. but it'll always remain foreign to me.

There are a countless numbers of times where a girl has pointed to my penis or balls and said, "I don't know how you walk around with those things." Even Sara has done it prior to a shower together. You see, waiting for the water to get hot brings out large discussions on genitals. Girl gets bored? Grab penis and play with it.

However, going on the other side of the fence, I have no idea how women deal with having a period. It's not the sight of blood since I've seen enough of mine from playing sports or a long day outside just playing. Our whole male confusion lies in how this sex can walk around with a piece of string hanging down between their legs or a pad of some type to sop things up. I'll happily stick with my balls flopping around, thank you.

I'm certainly not making fun of women and their periods. It's just that, like most guys, it's completely foreign. With only 1 hole, there isn't much choice. Many guys don't even want to know about periods or will cry about having to go into town to pick up "feminine stuff." The problem, for me, is that I know too much.

I swear to you that I have learned more about periods, maxi pads, and tampons than any male should. Every girl on Diaryland has, at some point, gotten into a discussion about them. I've gotten quite a laugh out of one woman's in depth report on which product is best to "clean up the mess" or why being a pad girl is better than a tampon one. I'm so numb to all this that it doesn't faze me one bit.

Yeah, I've come a long way since Erica used to chase me around the dorm with a tampon box when she wanted me out of the room.

So, my day? I've had to watch my little dog mouth off a bigger dog. Snout to snout, this little 5-pound doofus of mine decides to go up to a 25-pounder. A few words were said from the bigger one but my little Buffy spooked it at some point. It shut up while my dog walked off with her strut. Someday, Buffy is going to find herself in more trouble than even I can get her out of. Amazing what the little mat of fur with 2 big eyes can do, even when she lays down in front of my room's door, so mine.

Other than that, I had the luck of seeing 2 Nelly Furtado videos while vacuuming my room. Yes, there was an urge to take that machine and dance with it while IMF's 'Maneater' played. Nelly just oozes sex with those eyes. I don't care if Sammy thinks it odd that she went 'Britney' on us. Miami tends to sexualize a lot of people to the point that they have to just take off their clothes. Vacuuming with Nelly is fun!

I'm still up in odds over this discovery that women can squirt out orgasms. There was a short video I came across on the 'Net where a guy had all these girls squirt in his mouth. Freaky. You know for a fact that guys love it when a girl's on her knees but a guy with his mouth wide open?

If you are completely clueless or just plain innocent, squirting is supposedly a woman's orgasmic power where she releases a substance similar to semen. The uniqueness is that it's so powerful that an area in the urethral sponge just can't help itself. Like us guys and ejaculation, out comes a fluid while she moans like mad. With my eyes, I see it most likely being pee but I'm not completely sure. My reasoning is that the place this liquid is coming from looks to be the peehole itself and the stream is too.........look for yourself.

If you can squirt, leave me a note telling me that this is no myth. I cannot deny that I am somewhat fascinated by this.

FYI: I have never seen a girl's peehole no matter how hard I've looked. It's like the most impossible thing to find down there. Everything else, clitoris, labia minora/majora, vagina, asshole but not a peehole. It's no wonder guys are so confused about female anatomy. Maybe someday, a girl will help me.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07