'We were taken out for free drinks after work. Am now in a tree.'"

-'Bell de Jour' Diary Of An Unlikely Call Girl by Anonymous

Today, my dog got to meet one of my friends. Of all the weirdoes and freaks I know, it had to be Slutwatcher. I swear that I cannot avoid him but I admire his complete ignorance of life. According to him, football is life. Nothing else matters.

So, there I was walking my dog late morning. I noticed a guy across the street making his way towards me. The shape of Slutwatcher was too easy for me since there is something about his look. He's neither fat nor overly skinny, just slightly husky with a slowly fading amount of hair. My dog, as lovely as she is, didn't care. Buffy stretched as tall as she could and insisted on getting some attention while I talked of all things............football.

It's kind of weird, though. I'm serious in that I wouldn't let just anyone meet my little 5 pounds of almighty roar, Buffy. Slutwatcher has his place in knowing me thanks to his various antics and need to look up girls' shorts. He's really a lot of fun to watch watching others. Nice guy but a date with Slutwatcher is Burger King but the girl gets to decide on the meal.

Who knows. Maybe I'll find my way to Slutwatcher's place and somehow enjoy hours and hours of football on his $200 subscription service. After 4 beers, I'll watch anything.

So, 300,000,000 people in the U.S. Bad idea. Mating like this is bad. I miss feeling like I can walk a couple miles without ever coming across someone. Now, people are all over the fucking place. Ever driven to Chicago? I've heard the California is the worst when it comes to too many people clogging up traffic.

300 million people means a lot of food, gas, and waste is going to be all used up or around us. This number is nothing to be proud of but the newspapers and media sure act like it's the best thing around. While some congragulate those that have over 3 kids, I just look at them with disgust. Either that or I'll get that itch to ask the guy helping in all this whether he enjoys having a lover with floppy vagina lips after that many kids.

"Your penis will feel like a pebble to her, at some point, amigo."

The rest of the day was spent thinking of what it would be like to commit suicide. You know the scenario. Who'd miss me? How long til someone found out? Will I get to haunt anyone by putting Cheez Whiz down their shorts?

Days where they make you feel like nothing's going right just have me wonderin' like a lost soul. I may put up a smilin' face when I attend another grueling gym session but nobody realizes that I'm just tired of myself. Sometimes, I take the world too personally in how it is full of the most idiotic bunch of leeches I've ever come across. We need to be famous? 42% of high school students think it's okay to cheat? Anderson Cooper took up most of his show to talk about that guy that wanted to shout out how he may have killed Jon Bennet Ramsey?

The one thing that irritates me is how religion is said to frown on suicide. Why? Shouldn't you have a choice about what you do with your body/soul? Not everyone looks forward to living til a bedpan is a necessity and tubes have to come out of every body part.

I've been wishing so hard to be ignorant. You know those people. Every small thing means so much while they have no clue as to what is going on in the world. Bush is still seen as a hero or the whole evening after work is laying on the couch with fast food wrappers piled high til it's time to go to bed. I wanna be one of them.

But I think too much. My mom would be absolutely devestated with me gone. It's not a joke at all. I'm the one that makes her laugh through all sorts of bad times this family has gone through. It's no secret that she's very depressed. After the shit she's gone through with the local school system, it's obvious my mom is far too tired to bring herself back into the land of the living. 5 dogs don't leave you much of a choice but to be aware that a small laugh is how they poop in the house. Very cleverly.

As for last night's The Woods......not bad. Kept me with some suspence as to what is going on at this boarding school for girls where the women running it are very, very odd. What is it about a certain look in women that just spells w-i-t-c-h while the characters have no clue? The director, Lucky McKee did a nice job on the suspence but the film needed more within, something to give it more weight.

- - 2009-07-07

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