-'Belle de Jour' by Anonymous (a dating tip from our saucy author)

While walking out of my gym, Richard (Mr. Divorce Guy) asked me if I'm going out to get drunk. It wasn't so much as asking but the usual male sign language where the hand is used to represent a bottle of beer being thrown back. It's Friday night so why not?

Because things change. I don't know if those wacky kids call it "gettin' wasted" as my boys and I called the miraculous event way back in college. Also known as "Thursdays" and "Tuesdays" for those of you that remember my old entries. At some point, you just grow up.

Plus, I've got a small child I come home to each night, 5-Pound Phooey is anticipating my arrival seeing as it's most likely going to be time for her second and last walk.

There may be times I do miss having a few beers to forget the day's usual bullshit but that's long gone. Mind you, I'm not a drunk nor have I ever been one. It's just that when you have a lot of testosterone to burn off, a lot of guys are together, the girls insist on going out, and you find yourself with enough money for overpriced beer, why not.

It's Friday night, cool and the sight of lights in various houses are nice to look at. If I were in Indiana, I'd definitely be up for a long walk across the bridge that connects to a large college where the people are.........*gasp*.....not laying around passed out on the sidewalk as they are at ours. Nerds do enjoy a beer but only if a nice lady tells them to put down the joystick.

Why are walks romantic? Oh, dear me. I've done gone and made myself sound a little feminine. Because it's just fun to get out of the house and see the lights, river, and take the weekly exploring of the bookstore. This is awesome in Indiana because Borders carries music if you're needing time away from the literature.

Editor: "Or you just don't read good."

For me, I start off with magazines and wind my way back by going into the small selection of sex books. Sara's always looking for something from her favorite sex columnist, Violet Blue, while I just hope for more delicious yet tasteful nude photography by the likes of 'Playboy' or Mr. Leger. My final endeth of the exploration is in the DVD section. Borders is kind of lacking so it's not my most exciting moment. That would be watching Sara lose herself with headphones to test out The Killers CD.

And to answer what you may be curious about, no, Richard doesn't drink. He's had some major problems with this ex-wife of his due to her being an alcoholic. I think I did mention that she destroyed the TV remote control in a rage of some sort. Richard has since hidden a new one because no man can live without the remote. No man. Impossible.

So, Bush has signed a law that gives him the right to hold a person for any length of time for whatever. This man is scary. We're almost up to 3,000 troops killed thanks to Bush's need to "get them there so they don't follow us here." Somebody's been heavily drinking for the last 6 years.

Most of my friends from the gym are also not going out and doing the get drunk thing. While I have had my impressive episode that brings back many cheers from Bald-O where I threw up on Mark's shoes in the bar, Joe has had enough. We have grown up. Somehow in this strange cosmos of far out there planets where it's possible someone could think of a positive thing, girlfriends have changed the males.

Pat, a total barhound from my gym, is now engaged and spends much of his time with his fiancee. Joe has a girlfriend and has her stay over at his place. Richard has his TV and hidden remote. Slutwatcher drinks his beer at home because his beer doesn't talk back to him about the insanity of watching football all day/night. Obviously, I have Sara whom I recently read from an email telling me she is at her happiest with me. Dangnabbit! We males have gotten domesticated and didn't realize it.

FYI: I have never been drunk in front of Sara BUT I did come close once when I had 2 beers on an empty stomach during a Beertrek (You get people together, drink beer, and watch Star Trek) moment. I'm not a Star Trek fan so I have no choice. Wish someone would start a Battlestar Galactica and beer drinking night, though.

Loving how our midterm elections are bringing about politicians saying that he/she will bring back ethics. Whose?

I'm thinking about taking off for Indiana soon. Just don't know when since various things block me. Of course, I still have that memory of throwing up while driving. 2 times! Gawd, I can't wait to tell Bald-O because he had to stop his truck to puke. I am a warrior. Or just too stupid.

My closet is going to be tackled once again. When you have a collection of 'Playboys' that starts from 1979 til the latest edition of today, a gigantic assortment of hardback books of various photography, millions of socks, old catalogues, and somehow your old college porn VHS tapes that someone gave me, a man really needs to get rid of some stuff. That porn has got to go even if it's kind of fun to learn how to receive a blowjob while making an omellete. Mmmmmmmmmmm.........omelletes!

And so I endeth here while I think about how to do a bookreport. 'Belle de Jour' was so good that I'm kind of itching to discuss little things I noticed on this author's way of seeing relationships, life, and sex. You know me. I adore a woman that is completely comfortable about discussing the cleaning of her pussy, penis viewpoints, how a woman desribes the smell of a man's underwear upon revealing his tackle, and what to do when I man insists on cumming on you but just can't. Sometimes, it's just so hard to squirt when you wanna. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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