-Borat

So, wanna hear about my adventurous day of voting? I bet you do, you sly cutie you. Every day spent voting should have nice weather (we had rain yesterday so it was muddy), quiet (without all the cars in and out of the parking lot....), and no evil Republicans begging me for their votes (Damn, I was so hoping to give someone a beatdown). Is nice! We like!

In all seriousness, voting was so simple. All I had to do was walk several blocks to a church (I was, like, so scared of ending up charred and feathered), state what street I live on (Hey, I'm street-smart, yo), and show my name to a table of elderly folks. It was weird not being asked for an I.D. but I know who I am.

Love the new voting process, fill in the oval with a black pen for the person you most prefer. Richard said he wrote my name in for governor. Lazy old man, I'm just not the suit and tie kind of guy. In only this case, did I vote for a Republican. Our governor is pretty damn corrupt but we Illinoisans are used to that year after year. This boy isn't.

Should opinions be allowed on a ballot? I found it funny to be asked whether I wanted the troops pulled out of Iraq and whether I believed Bush should be impeached. Yes to all of this. Like that witch from A Christmas Story, I would have liked to bring a large red marker and write in a big "YES!" The selling of the war to contractors is quite treasonous.

All in all, it took less than 5 minutes but I had to stop and talk to the election judge. I knew his daughters and, for those with an amazing memory, this is the large guy I talked about in regards to the good ol' 69'er. It's so hard to not get all giggly when you wonder about how large people do that sex position.

I know there are those that are too lazy to vote or the weather is shitty. Then again, I wonder why they're willing to wait in line at Starbucks for that daily coffee fill and, instead of reading the newspaper, keep that Dr. Phil book neatly tucked underneath a warm armpit. I'm just not one of those that believes in this I'm not gonna vote because it's either dumb or dumber.

Maybe I'm naive in thinking that my vote will count. What does irritate me is the person that listens to politics and has his/her say but doesn't vote because it's one excuse after another. I'm so glad I don't drink coffee but I am forced into the torture of having a girlfriend that likes to kiss me after drinking hers.

To be truthful, I just told Sara that I have the election blues. This isn't your usual goofy doofus. What I do wonder is why it seemed like every woman and girl was looking at me in the gym tonight. All I did was keep to myself and turn around to find someone of the female variety seriously checking me out. One even dared to flirt with her eyes. When I'm down, I'm hot or some kind of pheromone is given off.

Enter sweaty guy. If you've ever worked out in a gym, you'll know that one of the biggest nightmares is someone asking to use the same equipment while his/her huge amount of hair is drenched in sweat.

Me: "Uh.......okay."

I took up the job of being a good ol' squeegie man, complete with bottle of solution and a small towel. At least the dude didn't smell like Stinky Pakastani. No like.

As I'm typing this (all my entries are totally done off the top of my head), I do realize that even if I've given up on some things in life I'm still happy I voted. Noting my girly side that tends to occasionally work on scrapbooks, I got a sticker that told everyone I voted. How can you not like stickers!?!

Other than that, I'm starting on a new book, an expose' on the eating disorder industry. It's called 'Thin' and the author/photographer is the same as the one from 'Girl Culture,' a book based on the good and bad about being female. Call it weird but I've always been into this secret world while my own history with an eating disorder made high school a little less fun.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07