-Bill Maher

The genius that is Bill Maher, a man I have admired for so long that you'd almost suspect me of playing in the other yard due to my fawning. What he did point out so cleverly was how Britney Spears dumped her husband on election day. Is this not symbolism of what has happened, what with the Democrats winning? You'd be surprised as to how a great conversation can be had with asking this.

For me, this has not been a great night. I was stuck in a Barnes N Noble while it poured extremely hard outside. How bad? My hoodie is still drenched on the bottom after 5 hours of hanging.

Now, you might ask why I'd be unhappy at being stuck in a bookstore. It's simple. Ours has lost it's great magazine man, Tim, only to allow flunkies that have no clue on how to place the new 'Us Weekly' or 'Rolling Stone' on the racks. I read and I love to do so but not in Barnes. For that place, I prefer a good mag where people start giving you weird looks because it's obvious the lady is completely bare down there.

Fact: Maybe the election has revealed people to be more liberal. Bring back pubic hair.

Lucky for me, I ran into a girl from my gym. She, too, was unhappy about the pouring rain. Yes, this girl is unbelievably gorgeous (and single, boys!) but I spent a great deal of time talking about Sara's experiences in a strip joint. Girls always get a good laugh about how boys react to the sight of tits.

I'm sure many people would be hard-pressed to walk up to a girl that looks like this but not I. I'm such a goof as you could witness me with Lauren tonight. Of course, this is my lesbian friend that I find so fascinating due to her boxing skills. How perfect is that? A girl that would detail a boxing match or watch Universal Fighting instead of bitching about a boyfriend needing to take the 'Cosmo' test.

It just weirds me out about Lauren and that other girl. They are unbelievably beautiful but single. What has happened to this world? It's definitely not by choice since Lauren has told me how bad she misses sex. Plus, she's like to open up to more kinkiness.

But then again, I was single for......*thinks*........a little less than a year til Sara. It's funny how my memory is so fuzzy prior to meeting her. February 21st, Sara thought I was late but the time difference between our states was something we both didn't realize. It's also kind of funny how I ran into an old friend, Monica, last week.

"You with a girlfriend for longer than 5 months!?!"

Well, not all is perfect when you have a recently divorced guy mimiccing doggie style on gym equipment. Even worse is Richard just had to tell me how he'd like to hold Cass's sister's breasts and ram himself into her. Books on nature talk of a male deer's need to rut. Does this include humans?

Richard gave it to me in amazing detail (No, not in THAT way) on how he sees a hot girl. Bend her over, hold onto her tits, and sink that dick in there hard. Whatever happened to flowers and candy? It must be hard for a male not having been laid for a long while. Too much porn exaggerates sex.

By the way, Cass would be so pissed off that I..........oh, man this is such a great fight to imagine, a 50-something year old guy fighting a very fit college girl.

If you have the Sundance Channel, there is a series that pairs greats together. I'm not sure what the lineup is but I caught the Quentin Tarantino with Fiona Apple one. The whole thing took place in Austin, Texas where Fiona was preparing for a concert. The hour's conversation was nice but seeing that large bat colony thing underneath a bridge was way cool, a famous place where over 2 million bats live.

Fiona Apple talked of what it really means to be an artist. As much as it hurts to hear her say that she is never going to write another song or put out another album, she's right in that one cannot call him/herself an "artist" if it's all solely for money.

On occasion, I have talked of my love of Fiona Apple. It still stands because her music, voice, and those eyes are all so full of life's perfections and errors all at once. Unbelievable first album.

- - 2009-07-07

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