-Saul Bellow

I think Sara said it best one night after going to her parents' house. She was at work and they wanted me to come over there to see HBO's The Sopranos. Once I drove back to Sara's, I was moaning about how full my stomach was while standing there in the kitchen. Not surprisingly, those words I'll never forget came out:

"You definitely visited my mother."

Sara's mom feeds me and I've gotta say that I get fed really well. On this weekend's visit, it was this amazing large dish of mac n' cheese, complete with a little pepper jack near the bottom. I've never had it like this but find it far better than most. 3 large helpings and a small amount of mesquite chicken while watching the Chicago Bears game was how I spent Sunday night.

It didn't end there. Sara's mom knows my weakness. During the Holidays, a certain flavor of ice cream is allowed for sale, peppermint. I absolutely love peppermint. Cats have catnip. I have this. I'm sure the combination of mac n' chees followed by peppermint ice cream sounds weird.

Editor: "To each his own."

It's always the same. I feel like I've gained 10 pounds when Sara's mom gets ahold of me. She knew I was coming over to see the game. My guess is that it's a moral imperitive to make sure the boyfriend is too stuffed to go anywhere. Am I the only one that has small nightmares of an old Tales From the Crypt episode where 2 people feed a smal child until they are ready to eat him years later only to find out that it's secretly a werewolf?

In case you are wondering, I am still stuffed. My tummy has been wanting more of that magical mac n' cheese dish and a large helping of peppermint ice cream. Certain foods have me go retarded early.

One thing that had me laughing is that Sara's mom has me wondering if she wants me to move to Indiana. At some point, in the fourth quarter of the game, she brought out a list of job openings in the area. Poring over a large stack of papers was an amusing distraction because we also got into a discussion on older people in the workforce.

Of course, that meant I had to bring up my observation about seeing so many elderly working as checkers in a grocery store. While I wish for them to spend their last years sitting on porches and drinking lemonade with the occasional spitting watermelon seeds at small children, doing strenuous work at this time is just not good for their bodies. Being 60 to 80 shouldn't have you worrying about money.

While there are those older people that want to work due to having a feeling to contribute to society, a lot are forced to according to Sara's mom. Not being able to get Social Security, etc. can find the occasional person breaking a bone while mopping up the floor. It just bothers me because I've grown up with grandparents that are living out their lives in an assisted living home. My grandpa has broken enough body parts recently but, thankfully, not in a grocery store.

But it is amusing to me to have a girlfriend whose mother hints for him to move to Indiana. I don't know. I'm a total planner and I do enjoy my town while also being very close to my parents. They're more like best friends but I was never a problem child. From the looks of things, all they'd have to do is give me peppermint ice cream and I'd stop my tantrums instantly.

Saw large amounts of blood all over portions of the interstate on my way home. I'm pretty sure that means deer were hit because I already saw 1 carcass on my way to Indy. My Aunt died from a car crash that involved a deer.

So, if you don't already know, Sara was involved in a car accident last week. You can read her side of the whole thing. What I wasn't ready for was the fact that her car was in the shop. I only thought the damage was slight. Stupid me.

So, what's a boy to do? Let the girlfriend drive his car? Yes, that is best but I'm happy to say that I've finally gotten the hang of certain portions of her town. Only now can I easily find my way back to the apartment on my own. You try learning a new large town when the person showing you around takes more route changes than Anna Nicole Smith bike riding after taking acid.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07