-The Punisher

Okay, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we all need an extra special episode of Hedgehoggy after last week's frustrating times, I will write down what I am thankful for. Well, would you rather I write about my findings from the Screech sex tape I witnessed 4 hours ago? Never knew a girl wanted a guy's finger wiped underneath her nose after it had been in her..........oh, never mind.

I am thankful for:

1). My girlfriend, Sara. We fight, we fuck, we get all cuddly but most of all Sara and I are still very much together. I'm happy that she may have a new job so that her former boss (I say tell her tomorrow to see the reaction, that bitch) will be adios. It's awesome doing sign language back and forth on jackasses in restaurants while people look confused. Almost 2 years so I must be special or something.

2). I am thankful for this diary. It's quite therapeutic in letting out frustrations and thoughts. For some reason, people still find me readable even if my notes section is so damn long and takes forever to load onto your screen. Just know that you can always give the finger to the computer if you don't like what I've said.

3). Hiss. The woman has given me a Super Gold Membership that I still have yet to take advantage of. There's, like, so many buttons and doo-dads that I don't know what to do with........yet. While Sara has told me that she is the only one allowed to spank my bare bottom, I think Hiss would be allowed one firm smack for fun. She chooses the cheek.

4). Not setting myself on fire at work. It can be so bad that you'd want to, just to liven things up. Right now, I just tell myself only 1 full month of this shit......one full month........one full...

5). My balls. Sara is proud of how large they are so why shoudn't I be as well? Funny to know that some of you have stated quite clearly that you wish to see them.

6). Sammy, the girl that can talk sense into me like no other. No other girl I know can throw out so many opinions that always have merit. I may disagree with some but that's what I want, someone to tell me another side.

7). Being spoiled but still grounded. I know it's hard to make sense but trust me on this one.

8). That Wham! is getting back together. It may be sad to see an aging has-been pop star singing "Wave Me Up Before You Go Go" but to each his own. You could just see it as hope for keeping George Michael off of drugs.

9). That someone else out there misses the Spice Girls as much as I. Keep those lighters lit, girls for 2 will become 1.

10). Somehow I have yet to get into an argument with Crotch Rot. Saves a lot of blood for me. Saves a lot of saliva for her.

11). Will Ferrel. Whenever I have a bad day, I think about what Frank the Tank would do. Then I laugh and cross my legs because I realize I shouldn't do that.

12). No matter how long I'm away, I always have a home for me in a trailer with Bald-O. That's what best friends are for, kids.

13). I eat pussy like a champ (C'mon, there has to be at least 1 sexual reference in this list. Besides, it makes Sara smile.). There really is something about seeing a girl in such pleasure that she nearly breaks fingers while thrashing all around.

14). My little 5-Pound Phooey and her antics. We're working on discipline in small doses. Who knew little dogs actually enjoy being spanked.

15). I'm not on the road with millions of other people due to working on Black Friday. I'll be here with family and 1 person coming over. See last entry for why my family is small.

16). My Cheeto addiction has been dealt with and is no longer within me. No more orange fingers.

17). My body. I've worked hard to be this strong all while trying to keep my mind aware. I truly am not like what you'd see me as on first view, a jock. What I will do is drive you nuts with goofiness.

18). My gym-mates, Lauren, Richard, Old Nick, Joe, and a few others. I have a feeling that Lauren and I will be great friends in time. While many guys would cowar at a girl that can beat them up thanks to martial arts, I stick around. 110 pounds against 200? Lauren's tough.

19). I'm growing up. Okay, slowly I am. If you've been with me since the beginning, you might notice this. I promise to not lose my need to question everything all while accepting some things as 'life.'

20). For you, dear reader. I'm always thankful that someone wants to read this diary no matter what I spit out. Others may whine or think they are cute with 2 to 3 sentences. I'll give you paragraphs and detailed explanations as to why I see things a certain way. I'm happy that debate takes place along with a love of sex that is far more than just an orgasm. I always want to know why because no one should ever stop asking that. Be cynical.

Bonus: For some reason, a little Mexican guy enjoys feeling me up while I look over papers. Amazing that I can drive both sexes wild with this body. No, Dirty Sanchez is not retarded. He's just really jealous but likes to touch firm pectorals as a hobby.

So, have a great Thanksgiving since I will not update tomorrow. Old Nick says hi as well. I've got to go to work and wish Sara well on this new job possibility. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07