-Bill Maher

And so I sit here all weirded out after a highly amusing time in the gym. Let's see, Lauren, Richard, Andy, and others were there so much talking and lots of heavy lifting were done. It's so much easier when laughter causes me to forget that nasty burn that comes with working out.

But Lauren........where do I begin with her? She's just one of the most fascinating girls I've ever known. Most lesbians are a bit on the thick side and tend to forget about the armpit hair. The whole fantasy of a woman that enjoys eating pussy goes along with the beauty part as well. Men, no matter how stupid they can be, still prefer a little female quality to the machismo.

I truly will not be surprised at how good of friends Lauren and I will be. She's just as vocal about sex, life, and having a good time. You could certainly tell that because I could smell the alcohol on her while she hit the bag. Just a few glasses of wine was all Lauren had but my sense of smell is strong.

One of the things I think a lot of guys wish for is women to understand them, stupid actions and all. You know them. Being a female walking in a bar, I'm sure you've noticed eyes on you or had a few whistles. If not, maybe you've watched men and how they use what little brain cells to come up with some sort of mating call. Yes, I know it's stupid but with a dick, two balls, and the fact that we can only operate them one at a time when it comes to our minds......this is what you get.

What Lauren told me had me laughing. When she's out with some guy friends and they sit down to down a few, out comes her dirty side. Lauren'll let out some hoots and hollers as to what girl she'd like to sleep with or just plain fuck. There will be a debate as to who has the nicest tits started by.......who else? Can't wait to hear about how good or what Luaren enjoys in a good moment of oral. I always look for pointers.

There is a turn-off. A lot of guys are shy of Lauren, especially since she walks around with her arms/wrists wrapped up for protection on the heavy bag. After pummeling the poor thing, she'll come out of that workout room to meander with us weight-lifters. Richard made the motions towards me saying I'm crazy for talking to Lauren. 'Why?' was all I asked only to find out that it was his belief that a girl should not be able to kick a guy's ass.

And who says Lauren is out to kick guys' asses? Weird. I just think she's one of the most fun people to know. While everyone else sees toughness, I know the loneliness Lauren faces along with her major curiousity in exploring more in sex. It amazes me that she only knows about eating pussy but not other fun things like sex toys and pain. I'm betting Lauren would enjoy some pain. After all, she can dish it out.

If you want me to describe Lauren, I'll take a shot. She's 5'2' and 121 pounds of muscle with very broad shoulders. There's some definite defintion in her tummy muscles and she wears Hanes boxer briefs. No panties. Hands are always wrapped with boxing bandage while a skull cap or skull knit is worn on her head. Take a pic of a Muay Tai fighter's outfit and that's pretty much what she wears. Pretty damn cool along with her core workout, a tough one. Yes, she's very cute, seeing as 4 girls wanted to take her out on a date recently. Lauren's picky because she wants someone tough.

So, work? 3 people didn't show up so a lot of catching up had to be done. It was fast and the hours seemed to go by extremely slow. These ol' legs of mine were dragging by the end of the shift. At least Stinky took his weekly (or is it bi-weekly) shower.

As for Karen Russell's book, 'St. Lucy's School For Girls Raised By Wolves,' it's pretty good. Odd is another way of describing it. I've read 2 of the stories so far, while at work. All I can tell you is that it's about kids going through weird events such as hunting ghosts. Would you believe that 1 girl that has been forced to take over her dad's alligator farm just might have an older sister being fucked by a succubus? Me likes weird.

So, I'm outta here seeing as I'm in need of some rest before taking off on another trip to hell. 2 new workers might be introduced tonight so I can't wait to see if someone can make the nights go by faster. Trust me. I still float around with the fantasy of giving explosive diarrhea to those that piss me off. The only side effect would be that I'd have to get the mop, knowing our managers' laziness at not cleaning up after themselves. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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