-Empire Strikes Back

If you'd like to go outside, be my guest. You'll be in for a shock at how a sudden warmth can go to extreme cold so fast. All around the house is ice. Ice, ice, baby. The rain has been going on all day and still it continues with torturing me. Am I the only one that looks out the window only to groan when the glass has ice inhabiting all around?

I have not slept......much. All last night, I tossed and turned over various topics playing in my head. Namely, Sammy's announcing the fact that she has been with her fiancee for years has something to do with all this.

Okay, I'm a rogue. Let's put it in a better sense of descriptive wording. I like being alone but with someone I can count on from time to time. You can take get-togethers and all that but there will be a point where I will walk away to stare up at the sky or read.

So, all I could think about is how I am doing with Sara. Namely, yes, Sammy, it is cheating when you only see someone for up to 8 days out of a month. Those almost-2-years aren't quite as action packed as a couple living together for 5.

My entries these past few days have been quite odd. Some form of warped creativity that I like to call "verbal diarrhea" just seem to come out all at once. While they have amused even me, I only realize that this is all a form of distraction. You see, I have not seen Sara in over 3 weeks. There's just been far too many barriers and issues that keep coming up. Holidays always bring chaos just like you can always count on a relative downing Pepto-Bismal after Thanksgiving dinner.

I've had 3 days off and will be heading back to work in hell tomorrow night. Funny how a part of me is itching for the challenge of keeping myself from jumping up and down like a mad monkey because someone constantly forgets to bathe. Once I see the weather, I realize that a warm bed is far better than a challenge with odor.

But I cannot see Sara nor could I make my way there until I know her room is clean. The last time I came back from her place, I had a nasty allergy attack where my eye would not stop itching. The itching turned into pain that could not be dealt with til I got off of work. There is no way I am taking the chance of that again til I hear from Sara that her room is clean.

Plus, I'm just being me. While I'm frustrated, things are left in the gym due to that relaxing feeling I get after picking up many, many pounds only to set them down. It's weird how exercise effects me so much in that it's addictive about how great I feel.

Then again, I keep myself in good company. Mr. Plow and Lauren have been on a roll with a mad bout of entertainment. On one hand, I laugh at a 50-year-old with an enormous gut that cowars at a 5'2' asskicking white girl that has people insisting on a date with her. On the other, I'm constantly taking up a challenge from within by testing how much pain this body can take. Sometimes, I wonder if my orgasm face is the same as the one I make while straining with a 155-pound standing bicep curl.

So, you see that I am distracted. Work and my friends keep me as sane as possible all while I do miss Sara. It's just that when I am away from all this that I wonder. Am I worth it to her? Sara did tell me that she is very picky on what type of boy shares her bed.

Then we go into that. I absolutely dread sleeping alone. It's such a cruel punishment for those of us that sleep better with a warm naked body lying next to us. That skin can heal more than you know, namely in helping me dream a little better or soothing that dull ache in the morning. Oh, a blessing it is to take my cock and press it against her lower back because the skin's body temperature eases the pulsating need to cum.

Sleeping with someone makes the dreams better because you don't have to look far to know that person's there. I could stare up at the darkened ceiling for long periods of time while her back rests at my side. Yes, that's how Sara and I sleep. Well, at least til she starts her usual rolling around and occasionally hitting me during dreams.

Who else do you talk to in such an intimate manner? I mean, you are sleeping right next to someone that has seen you nude, a form of nudity that has not caused him/her to run away in complete dread. Bald-O once told me that one of the biggest things he misses about us in college is the 3am conversations because there was always someone up or around. Sleep with someone that you can look to across the pillow. Unfortunately, Bald-O had yet to figure this out.

Girls can be fun to talk to while in bed at late hours. Hell, they can be quite playful when both of you are completely naked. There is humor to be had when laying in bed and she just so decides to play with my penis as if it's another lifeform. Trekkies are known to do odd things. I, in turn, get to play with her pussy in various ways that also incite laughter.

I don't know. I'm just going completely out there in trying to figure out relationships. Will Sara and I still be together next year? 2 years? Can I overcome some of these strange sudden issues with depression? Should I have Lauren work with me on learning some major asskicking moves? Will Mr. Plow come over so we can go destroy kids' snowmen?

And now as I get this far in the entry, I realize that I am a bit depressed. Distractions only go so far. The weather makes you realize more and more what you once avoided. I'm sleeping alone tonight, just like last night and the night before that. Normally, I'd sign off with a goofy quip but the glow of streetlights gets more of my attention. Don't ask about Christmas because I'm too moody to think clearly on gifts. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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