-"I'm Still Standing" by Elton John

Of course, you have heard about the midwest's sudden snowstorm. It wasn't super bad, just for those hours between 7am and 9am. Lucky for me, I was completely asleep. Then again, it is kind of strange to fall asleep to ice all over town only to wake up to a completely white yard. You wouldn't think anything is alive til you see the little animal pawprints leading in all sorts of directions.

The best way to tell it's been bad weather is with Yorkies. When it's cold and the wind is biting, turds spring up all around the house. Our Yorkies know they'll be in trouble for doing this instead of going outside so they've done their best to hide 'em. December-March is the time period where you must watch where you step in this house. The bigger the turd, the more likely it's Ellie-Mae's (aka "Hoss").

The best ways to get rid of those Winter blahs? Getting paid is a start. I had to get up after another sleepless night (I'll explain) to drive out to the workplace and pick up the check. Anyone else hate walking into the workplace just to pick something up because they'll have to be back at some point?

As much as I'd like to admit that shopping is something I'd like to do, I can't. Making just $1 over minimum wage this year and old bills coming back to haunt me pretty much zaps me. I'm not complaining because this was what I selected for enjoying my time in Atlanta for that Dragon Con convention (Remember, I put up pictures so go look!).

Plus, I'm not in any position to complain about work. Strangely enough, it's been less stressful than last year. Remember Doug, my former boss? He wanted me there everyday due to us being friends. Work does go by quicker when you are having conversations during certain projects. Anal sex, the attributes of Jenna Jameson, and any interuption where we must figure out who farted can be good things when the actual actions of working just plain suck.

This year, I've yet to work 7 days straight, my sleeping patters have only small annoyances (I'm used to being awake now from 10pm til 6am), the people are a bit more willing to work faster (the gay Mexican got hurt by a falling toy and spent an hour looking for aspirin), and I haven't had the torture of sitting next to Stinky at break.

But a small part of me wants to shop. Like Sammy, I need underwear (preferrably Calvins and not 'book-themed') and would like to own a Playstation 3 for the sole reason of playing Marvel Alliance since I could be Spiderman or Wolverine while kicking ass. I've been a good boy. Santa has never missed this house.

But I'm not shopping. Car insurance and various things keep me here. Plus, I'm not a drinker, like so many in my gym that somehow enjoy paying for overpriced beer in the bars while watching sports. THIS is why man must have a gigantic TV set, to keep him from wasting in public establishments with other rowdy males that enjoy urinating on the floor.

FYI: I have never pee'd on the floor.

While the Democrats have made good on this raising the minimum wage, I wonder why there are so many critics. The average person cannot survive on $5.15/hour. No way. Impossible. It's almost better to just get rid of the car (no car insurance), quit work (the kids' daycare adds up), and live on food stamps while people in Congress continue to vote an increase in their salaries. I'd like to see them live on $20,000 a year instead of their $50,000 (Yes, I know they make more but I forgot the exact amount).

I'm lucky. Yes, I've known that for a long time so don't hold it against me. But you already know that. One day, I'll actually put my talents (if there are any) to use.

And World AIDS Day? I've always felt that it's the religious freaks that hold back an actual cure to the disease while preaching a confusing message to kids. People fuck. It's that simple so no amount of abstinence education will help. Remember your mind when you were a teenager? Things were so confusing and new. For me, I had a hard time staying focused on education by nuns while being so curious about the vagina. Gawd, I just wanted to:

1). See it.

2). Touch it.

3). Taste it (I'm a total licker).

4). Smell it (One of my dad's favorite movies had this line: "Nothing beats the smell of pussy.")

To me, facts and info on the subject of sex just might help instead of telling kids not to. This is a time period of major horniness. Looking back, I don't know how I delt with so much semen wanting to be released. I could've fucked a nun.

Editor: "That would be bad."

An old Attorney General stated that teaching masturbation in class might help. I'd like to add that teaching handjobs and adding courses for males to learn how to please women (women do get orgasms) might help. The handjobs would help stop boys from pestering girls for sex. Doing homework and not your date might actually happen.

Another issue is these 'Bug Chasers,' people (mostly male) that keep AIDS alive by spreading it. They want to get the disease for some insane thrill. I'll never forget the story on these guys in New York that look up people with AIDS just to get them to fuck them. Just the thought of that disease being kept alive thanks to these idiots makes me wonder if they should be killed for doing so.

What's really weird is how the AIDS is still growing but you don't hear about it as much as you did 10 years ago. It's almost like it's being swept underneath the rug thanks to new medicine, etc. and ignorance. Politicians talk all the bullshit they want. They've never really stepped up to help fight the disease or anything disastorous. Typically a Republican response to a lot of things.

FYI: One of my friends' dads died of AIDS a long time ago. He got it from a blood transfusion so this things hits someone somewhere in your life.

So, I'm outta here. Hedgie is a disease-free lil' critter trying to dodge doggie turds each day. It's a minefield of the brown kind. Oh, how I wish I had some koalas to carry around n my back even if they are kind of vicious lil' shits. Rumor has it that they get like that when it's mating season time. Males. When our balls are packed with semen, crankiness and unnecessary erections keep happening. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07