-Pulp Fiction

It is my thinking that I would love to lay my vengeance upon Holiday shoppers. Their clogging of a mall's parking lot just to walk around looking like zombies, staring up at each store's sign as if they've never heard of it.

"Look, Victoria's Secret! What's in there?"

They slow me down. They slow me down bad when all I want to do is get in and get out of this mall very quick. I have a certain agenda on my mind and be off like a prom date's dress. Why people must pick the mall for all their Holiday shopping is beyond me.

I also don't care how big Grandma is. She needs to get her fat ass out of the path of my car and into the trailer carrying cattle instead.

As for my Christmas shopping, I have no clue as to what to get people. This happened all out of the misery I've been going through. My guess is that, when psychologically fucked up happens, ah just can't think like I normally do. Creativity is gone. Rational thinking is gone. It's a major worry that I might not be able to find my car in the parking lot. There is going to come a point where I just might get into a fistfight with a lil' old lady that told me to go fuck myself. Normally, I laugh but today I would've been Irish.

Drunk Irish Man: "A pint and a fight equals a great night."

I'm also miserable because of weather. Normally, I'd be as fine as wine but the cold has me feeling a bit of cabin fever. No gym. Woke up extremely late at close to 3pm after last night's crazy event of unloading a large truck. Imagine thousands of small packages (and some very big ones) that need to be placed on pallets. 2 and a half hours to get what someone else was supposed to do done.

Lots of catalogues keep coming in. Thumbing through a variety of them has me wondering just what I'd want for Christmas. I've pretty much got everything to the point that I'd never have to set foot outside for entertainment. But I'll take a shot at amusing myself:

1). I like sweaters. Gap had these dark colored (grey and black) that looked good. I've got maybe 3 sweaters in all so who knows.

2). Comic book character t-shirts. Gotta have 'em in a good color, something I don't have. Red, grey, and blue but not black. Too much black brings out the paleness in me. Would love to get my lil' fingers on a grey Batman logo one.

3). Playstation 3. Can't go wrong with contolling Spiderman or Wolverine in a brawl of epic proportions. I'm not a video game freak by any means but enjoy some small attempts of another life. Did you know there is a website with video of dorks playing that really accentuates the nerdiness? Saving the world makes for something that somewhat materializes as an orgasm face. I'd still prefer sex.

4). Undies. Calvins, boxer-briefs, with nice colors. Button-fly all the way as it's good to keep things from getting out of control down there. Not a free-baller. I repeat, not a free-baller. The damn things have a life of their own.

5). Smelly stuff. I find it hard to say this but I like things that bring out a good smell in a room. Strawberry is a good start. I did confess to taking a large sniff of Strawberry Shortcake's knickers when I was a kid. Back then, I had no shame of taking a large whiff while girls looked at me in an odd way. This is where I went bad, obviously.

6). For some reason, I'd like that Pirates porn DVD. It's a rare title to be given a big budget as a movie all while still being a nice sensitive porno where girls get double penetration with a side of being rammed by their captives. Life is good when you've got a top-heavy blonde that coos while many willies are presented to her for sucking. I've already forgotten who's in the Pirates movie but then again I do also think about the porno musical, Alice In Wonderland. I've been wondering what's in the ol' rabbit hole.

I've got enough hoodies, plain white t's, sneakers, and socks. Still looking for a banana suit so someone can chase me around the park dressed as a gorilla. *wink wink*

Other than that, there's nothing quite new with my complaining of the Holidays, weather, and wishing I could sleep at a better time. Even coming across some good porn on the 'Net didn't do much for me. Man, those naughty girls really seem to enjoy putting up camera phone pics of their quim while this American obsession with peeing does nothing for me.

So, if you'd like to help get me out of this sense of feeling the blues, say something nice. Send me a pirates porno or Keira Knightley's loveliness. Sara's possibly driving around in a new car while I'm feeling like I'm chucked out onto the street. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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