-Billy And the Boingers

I'm in a bit of a rush. Work is where I'm about to leave after waiting for my little brother to get off the computer. Why he has this desire to stare at computer pictures of motorcycles is odd to me. He should stick with sneakers. I drool over the really nice ones.

After finally getting ahold of Lauren, I'm wondering if I should work with her on fighting skills. These are one of hell of a workout all while sending me on my way to the ultimate goal in life, to be a ninja.

Editor: "Well, some people adore penguins. You adore ninjas. It's all relative, really."

It's no surprise that I enjoy watching Lauren kick the shit out of a heavy bag. There is just something sexy about a woman that has no fear of sweating majorly and being able to hurt you. While some guys cowar in fear, I embrace feminine destruction.

I mean, look at me. I'm definitely jockish to the point that people will always ask me what I bench press, lift, or ask me what position I played in sports. However, y'all know me as the geekish side that I let out here on D-Land like the true mo'fo' I be. Yo, I keep it real but I still want to get a good grasp on something masculine.

There was a time where I was on my way to looking like I had some major balls. I've spent time in the gun range and am quite skilled with a bow. No hunting for me. It's all about how good you can weild your weapons. Those times are long gone even if my bow still sits quietly in the closet.

Then again, it could just be the new stressors coming on. You've got weather, work's frustration, and this sudden confusion as to what day it is. I swear that I thought it was Tuesday upon waking up around 2pm. No, I'm not lazy because I got off work around 6:15am.

Fact: I can still do cartwheels so I will try to make them as masculine as possible by not saying, "Wheeeeeee!" as I go by you.

We'll see since Lauren told me that she's been wanting to get in touch with me for a while. It would be quite a culture shock to be walking down the street with her because she is known to tell anyone around her about the great pair of tits that walked by. Imagine having to calm down a 20-something-year-old girl that could tear you a new one.

So, I just might be finding out all about lesbianism with good fighting skills. Should I document into my head what these gals can do? There is something to be said when a girl settles an argument on which movie to see by saying:

"I wanna see some bush!"

As for work, I have to deal with Dirty Sanchez. Only on Mondays do I have to have a very horny gay Mexican guy feeling my pectorals while I read. Lucky for me, he doesn't wink at me, just weird grunting sounds. The dude has a mustache so I've just been dying to ask how many boys he allows 'mustache rides' to.

To put it bluntly, I've been rather busy. Wake up around 2pm, eat dinner at close to 5pm, hit the gym, talk to everyone in the gym or amuse myself with Slutwatcher trying to look up college girls' shorts, play with 5-Pound Phooey, and be off to work. That's pretty much my days and then some. No rest for the wicked or ninjas.

On a side note: I am still obsessed with this weird event of women squirting. Due to a website with massive amounts of all sorts of short videos, I saw a woman riding a guy only to pull out and squirt all over the place. If you gals complain about the volume of semen from males, that is nothing compared to what this girl did. It's almost like she couldn't stop as the longest stream just kept going and going.

The best part is the men involved with these porn videos. Their eyes get huge as they watch this fascinating event, women squirting. I would be, too, because I'm always confused by it. Is it pee or cum? Everyone has a different belief. All I know is that you will need to clean the carpet if the girl is a squirter. We males, you only need a kleenex. But with me......you're gonna need a paper towel.

Oh, and I'd like to ask about this Super Gold Membership. Can you add GIFs because I found hundreds of good ones, sexy and hilarious? Hiss, just what can I do and what are all these fields?

Well, I'm off to work so all you horny gals be good. Get to practicing on this possibility of having a squirting orgasm. Guys love it even if they have to have a mop nearby. Can't stop the freaky bunch! Or weird white boy ninjas. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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