-Animal House

Less than 3 weeks of this shit at work, idiots for co-workers and the insanity of the Holiday season. I'm as right as rain that I'll survive but you'll always see that my mind is on how many hours and how many days.

My co-workers are best described as looking like complete rejects from high school. 1 smells, 2 are fat girls that constantly giggle, 1 fat guy with personality only reserved for the fat girls, a possibly pregnant woman (I'm not daring enough to ask) that smokes, a guy that resembles Prince from the 90's, and a complete dunce of a manager. How I long for the days of Ugly's undying love for Stinky. Sara said it best though:

"Maybe they weren't meant to mate."

Both fat girls annoy me with their constant giggling over the stupidest things. However, one is the absolute worst due to her sudden puppy dog lust for the fat guy with no personality. It's strange how these 3 are so close and will not allow anyone into this little secret group where there is a possible discussion on placing deep fried donuts as a food group.

Watching a person that has never had a significant other is priceless until it's a co-worker. She's slow and sluggish because she follows this guy that spends a great deal of time making our restroom reek of whatever bombs he's dropped each night. In some ways, she resembles Thelma from Scooby-Doo but, then again, Thelma was hot.

Editor: "You knew Thelma was just dying to get out of that short skirt and show you that the carpet matches the drapes."

This whole hatred for my co-workers, a first, has a strange twist. Stinky has been okay to work with. As long as you can get past the horrible smell, he's a good guy that just so happens to be the only one I know that masturbates to anime porn. That has got to drive the ladies wild.

Editor: "You're the one that admitted to liking Thelma, idiot. For me, it was alwasy Daphne."

All in all, the best way to describe my co-workers is that most won't be able to answer this game show question:

Host: "For $100, what is your name?"

Today was a day off. Well, a day off where I wake up again at 2pm, wander off to get my hands on the DVDs, Miami Vice and Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Yes, I know I hated the movie but there was something that sold me instantly:

"Keira Knightley practicing the sword in tank tops."

What? It's hot out and a sexy woman like that needs a way to allow her pores to breathe. You already know my fetish for women that can handle weapons, wear ponytails, and order me to lay down on the bed while smacking my bare bottom. Let's not get too personal, yo.

Plus, Keira looked super fine in a wedding dress that got rain soaked over her character's no-show wedding. Hmmmm....sword fighting, wet wedding dress, and I'm just plum-peached to watch a ridiculously filmed sequel of a movie.

You know what? Everyone has their favorite snack chip. Most often, it's Doritos or the shout out days to Cheetos thanks to bloated Britney Spears days long gone and turned into that fact that she now needs to air out the fumes in her vag while travelling with Paris Hilton. I've got Fritos.

Just thought you'd like to know that.

Oh, and as for that Victoria's Secret fashion show............just okay. The reason why I think Justin Timberlake is a great performer is that you can see he puts actual value into what he does. Damn, that man danced fantastically instead of just standing there with a mic, something just about every male singer does. Take rappers. They have nothing in the way of making presence known. You'd be better off just buying the album of ignorance instead of paying to see a guy stand there while some ho's do the dancing.

What I wasn't surprised about the V.S. show was the lack of sexy. You can talk all you want, panty-sellers but, for my money, sexy is ass. Girls have this amazing bubble or curviness attached to a slender body that should be celebrated instead of censored. CBS constantly took the viewpoint off thonged tush and placed it more on boobs. Yes, I know boobs are very feminine but ass, perfectly toned, is such a sexyback.

Editor: "Somehow, I picture you dreaming of being those thongs, just for that night."

I've gotta say that New York City's body waxers were most likely put to work for these girls walking down the runway. Most of those panties were tiny and might even make Justin re-think about things with Cameron Diaz. Am I the only one that sees him as bi-sexual? It's just a feeling I have.

So, there you have it. Another action packed chock-ful of bullshit entry here on HedgehoggyLand. Can you believe I've got to plan my year end entry already? I'm nervous because I'm too busy right now to think about what all went down this year besides my sudden ability to put up 92 pictures (Ask if you don't know where they are). Please, excuse me while I head off to email Sara. I'm pretty sure she's counting down the days til I'm done with this fucked up job where a fat chick wears "I'm Not Wearing Underwear" on a t-shirt. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07