-Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]

I'm just not sure on how much longer I can spit out entries everyday. It's gotten to the point that I am no longer able to sleep at night. As tired as I feel, the fact that I'm used to working at 10pm til somewhere around 6am has my sleeping patterned around this, afternoons. What I am trying to say is that I'm not complaining but just thinking of taking short hiatuses here and there til things are normal again.

I have found a blog that has me in its hizzle fo' shizzle. Normally, I complain about how there are so few people that can actually put something out there for all to read but this girl..........oh, my. She can be snarky and hilariously self-centered to the point that I will never define her diary as boring.

So, what's a girl to do when stats are down? Put up topless pics, of course! You fools should have learned that years ago so get with the program. Ah woman's got needs and a good way to get things back up to par is to pull up the shirt and take some pictures for the dorks out there. It'll get you more points if you go topless while cooking. Think Rachael Ray would go for that?

But seriously, this girl who hails from Toronto is such a weird nut. While normally an event where your boyfriend breaks up with you without telling you makes for some cheese with that whine, this girl lets it all out all while not allowing anyone to feel sorry for her. On with the show, folks! It can't rain here all the time as this quote from The Crow goes.

I admire this blogger's creativity blended in with insanity and snarkism that makes me feel like bowing down to her extreme grasp of not taking things too seriously. There are the usual pictures of friends, the cat (someone to talk to after too many beers), and various pictures for those that cannot get laid. It's one thing to show your tits but it's a whole other bang for your buck when you surround yourself with records while nude.

Never visited Toronto but this blogger kind of makes me want to see what I'm missing in this large city.

My only problem with all this is that it takes FOREVER to get into her month's craziness. She puts up everything that goes on in life every single day. Dial-ups, I feel sorry for you because I have to sit here for almost 5 minutes just to catch up on her rants, complete with pictures, of Britney Spears's pantiless pics along with Lindsay Lohan's.

Fact: Lindsay has a prettier vag than Britney. You could almost always picture Brit with a Bud Lite bottle up there for party purposes. Corona bottles are so passe'.

Never thought I'd say that over 100 pictures of a girl's cat is okay, too. Just goes to show you that it's all in the creativity uses while bitching out a fat bitch that harps about food and wanting to be Blog Of the Year (Yes, they really have these awards).

Sometimes, I wonder what goes through the minds of girls that flaunt their bodies on the 'Net. I mean, I've seen a lot of tits and vag in real life but there are some that are a little on the weirdo side. It's one thing to show tits but a whole other thing to take pictures of yourself peeing as well as posting a video of yourself dancing completely naked in nothing but a knit hat. Be careful out there, girls. Topless cooking with bacon is dangerous.

One thing I love about blogs is reading snarkiness. Another is complete weirdness in things I never thought I'd find coming out of a girl's mouth. Do you really think it's cute when boys pee?

Sometimes, I think it's just jealousy that we guys don't have to squat but...........

I've come across a few entries where girls have discussed a love of watching their boyfriends stand there peeing. Why, oh, why have I never had this request? Not one girlfriend from the past has ever told me she wanted me to whip it out and visit the great nation, urination, for her. What can I say? I'm playful and enjoy being naked at lots of opportunities since I don't like things down there scrunched up and locked away.

Remember the band, Korn? A member of theirs was notorious for bringing a litterbox on the tour bus to have groupies pee in so he could watch. I've had cats so I've gotta ask whether he had these girls kick litter to cover the clump.

But girls? Wow, I've had lots of things done with my cock so that was quite a shock since it's never been asked of me. My best guess is that someone's become bored looking at a hard penis that throws up and getting more into the flaccid type that lets out a steady stream. Could be control, too, since those kinky gals can aim it for him.

Editor: "Or a girl can use the penis for practice as a microphone prior to American Idol auditions. C'mon, now, 'Take my breath awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.'"

As you can see from my finding odd blogs, I didn't sleep last night at all. If I did start sawing logs, it would have been well after 5am only to awaken around 10am. Oh, how I hate this but it's for less than 3 weeks so there's no point in really complaining. Plus, the weather's slightly warm tonight.

For this week, I've been working with Clown. As annoying as she is, the nice part is that she wants to go home just as bad as we do. Clown doesn't like to do work, something Doug pointed out to us last year by taking us to her station where not a damn thing was put away. So, unbelievably enough, she actually helped big time 2 days ago by cutting down what would have had us staying til well after 7am. People can surprise you.

So, I'm going to cut this short seeing as I have to vacuum my room and prepare for work's hellish torment. Just remember that if you have nothing to say and your stats are running low, take topless pics, peeing pics, or show us the new panties you got with some asscrack. Combining all three with some impressive snarkiness just might make you sexier than you really are. Boys are so gullible when undersexed because toplessness cures everything. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07