-Talladega Nights

You know things are bad when you see a piece of paper pinned to the store's bulletin board telling you to read it. Lovely how even doing something simple as signing one's name is difficult for your manager. It looked like a 2nd Grader did it all while trying to remember each letter 'cuz the last few are hard to pronounce.'

Yeah, they're desperate because most of us are done on Friday. No more for me. I've put up with put-downs and arrogant attitude from managers even if the suprising thing is that I get along with Clown. 3 to 4 layers of make-up reveals a lot of deep issues but not with me.

Since Friday is the main night where a lot of people face a do-or-die moment where they must get their screaming kids something, the manager has put out a desperate SOS for people working in the store to 'make some extra money.' I asked one of the girls that does the afternoon shift what she thought. Apparently, the horror stories of blood on the store's tile are all too real. Not to mention the sweat and tears all while wanting to go home.

I've grown so used to all this shitty shift where 10pm til 6am or later finds me either wound up once my feet hit the store's parking lot or wanting to never return again. It's when I realize that even though these people are barely past high school education, can't spell or write, smell, have an awful sense of style, pee on the floors, find food hanging from their noses when eating roast beef, and think that video games are far more creative than books that they are people, too. I looked at Clown and saw a very tired person underneath that caked up face and even patted her on the shoulder prior to leaving the store.

Only 4 more nights of this shit......4 more nights.........4....more nights.

While in the gym tonight, a guy changing in the locker room gave me some kind of pamphlet. I'm pretty sure I don't give off the religios vibe of any type due to my materialistic sneakers, Air Jordan, and satanic colors, red, but I got one.

Of course, I read this cult pamphlet. Damn, I love me some good reading material that makes me want to curl up on the floor and giggle over little statements that tell me I leave a good sinning lifestyle. Now, I may not have visited a nudie bar in a good long while but I have sexual thoughts that make my dick point to the sky because it wants to rain holy sticky hail.

The main thing I noticed was that it's by some guy from Texas called 'Tony Alamo.' Heard of him? This is my first of ever hearing about him. From what I read, Tony's well known all over, from Venezuela all the way to.....well, just about everywhere. There was even a letter that told of a Muslim changing over to Christianity thanks to reading these amazing pamphlets.

All I learned was that, if you aren't with Tony's cult, you are bad. There is no choice but to spend your paycheck on ridiculous behaviors like nudie bars and drugs. Hey, it's the drugs that like me, not me liking the drugs. These sleeping pills are what help me get through the nights of work. Sara enjoys nudie bars far more than I do. I've got highly original excuses.

The religious may freak me out but they sure do provide for some major entertainment. Ever heard of the movie, Jesus Camp? 5-year-olds that are brainwashed into thinking they need to be saved by an evil Christian lady would have you think twice about church events. Am I the only one that thinks Borat should visit and tell them he needs to 'make urine' and mock being shocked at the fact that women can vote. Ignorants of the Middle East aren't that far off from being compared to religious freaks.

Note: My dad thinks Borat is the funniest movie ever and has even cried laughing at that last scene many of you have heard about.

So, I'm outta here. 4 more days until I can walk out of that store and never ever come back to the hell I face each night. Then what? I love the uncertainty because I'm too tired to think about it. Next up on the agenda is to kiss Sara on New Year's Eve while holding a bottle of Corona. That's sexy and cooler than getting booed out of a Los Angeles Lakers game like Britney Spears did. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07