-Absolutely Fabulous

I'm now worried about this age thing that everyone talks about. It all started with the most embarassing of all, not knowing where I parked in the mall's parking lot. Wandering around like a lost senior citizen looking for something that resembles a maroon auto-mo-bile (say it like they do in Sixteen Candles, folks), that is me. 3 out of 5 times, I find myself in this situation. Tonight's was even weirder than the blog I found.

I left the keys in my car and even left it running for an hour. It wasn't until my little brother came in to tell me that my car was still running, about 1.5 hours later, that I was able to shut it down. They good news, yes, there is good news is that I remembered to lock my car doors.

Now I feel like I need a whole new discription of myself when introductions begin. The label, "mildly retarded," will have to be followed through with "but at least he remembers to lock his doors."

So, how have you been? My tinkering has been taken to a whole other level thanks to how far I let things go in the storage room. The place was a disgusting mess of comics, papers, shoe boxes, books, and various other things all around the room. A person couldn't walk around as easily until now. It looks most excellent as I can now go back to doing occasional push-ups when I feel the need to.

There is a nice thing about my working on the storage room. All sorts of things were bombarded at me thanks to seeing old comic book ads while placing them in new bags (a long time ago my cats pissed on them and only now do I get rid of sticky bags). Remember the Nintendo Entertainment System? The first coming of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Nintendo Cereal? Wasn't 1989 a fun time?

Yeah, a lot of the comics I had to place in new bags were from the 1989 or 1988 time periods. This was 4 years after The Clash broke up, Air Jordans were at Number 4 with the very original fire red design that had me drooling because I was not allowed to own a pair. I had to beg my mom for a Nintendo. Life was so much simpler back then. Can you believe we weren't even in the era that included Vanilla Ice yet? Us white people were so asking to be represented.

Other than that, I had the enjoyment of looking at 2 Italian girls' passports. They sat next to me while waiting on something at a government office. These places are just nasty because the guy making us all wait took close to 45 minutes. You so do not want to get a black senior citizens, 2 confused Asians, and a wounded Mexican angry. I was so glad the Middle Eastern guy didn't talk to everyone around him the way Borat does.

"I go make urine now."

My number was '14' and 50something minutes later, were on number 6. I felt sorry for anyone in the 20's because it looked like a long day for them in a government office. My luck was taking the time to see Italian passports and wondering just how brave/naive it must be to go to another country for school. The girls were getting, I guess, social security numbers or something like that.

Now, just what do you say to people that start chatting away on a cell phone when there is a large sign right in front of them saying 'NO CELL PHONES?' The reason is simple. People can steal social security numbers. It's idiots like the 2 women just chatting away while the armed guard kept trying to get them to shut the fuck up or take it outside. If he had perfect aim, I'm sure no one would say anything about the 2 bodies that just suddenly appeared. Some people have absolutely no thinking ability.

Editor: "Coming from someone that labels himself as 'mildly retarded..........but remembers to lock his car door."

I've found another blog that gets me laughing or just plain fascinates me. Let's see, long list. First it was my favorite blogger in all the world because she is an artist and all around nasty fun. Then, there came a Canadian that is just so wildly fun to see in pictures because she doesn't take life seriously. The girl living in Germany for school is full of a fascination with life and amazing pictures. What have I gotten myself into now?

A cross-dresser. This guy is pretty damn freaky in some ways but a bit witty so far. Never have I seen a guy that insists on wearing panties and a bra. Of course, he makes sure there is no way of anyone seeing the elastic of his Hanes Her Ways. When Wal-Mart has a sale, this guy is in the lingerie department all for himself.

I've always known that cross-dressers are pretty much heterosexual. There's so much confusion as to what people like or are into that it's understandable how people see them as gay. Drag is 1 big reason because if you've ever come across a large black man in nothing but a feather boa and large enough bra to accomodate him, it's all gonna confuse you. What can I say? It was prom night and we took a wrong turn as this man blocked our car by getting on top of the hood.

Of course, I admire this cross-dresser's need to come out about what he's hiding. No one knows but him and he only allows himself to be photographed from behind. I'm in total disagreement with his bra and panty set but that's for some other time. It's just that even if something is not for me, I like to know about it, especially in regards to sex.

Mmmmmmmmmm......very weird but something I cannot look away from. That's what this cross-dresser's taste in sex is. He likes for his wife to fuck him with a strap-on. A big one. Then, there's the shaving his wife. Done that but I have a fear of accidently hurting so I'm just far too cautious. Will get rid of asshole hairs if girl asks, though. And finally, golden showers. I've never been pee'd on but I'm sure it's warm. After seeing one of my friends bend over to piss on the wall and it all came out like a small fire hose got loose......not for me. Peeing is believing.

So sorry for the boring entry. My mind has not exactly been with me ever since the forgetting my keys in the car. This may not bother you but I'm such a perfectionist that I hate how the smallest thing escaped my mental list. I've told you how I lay in bed with Sara staring at the celing while she slept because I kept working on remembering all that I had to do. We'll see if I can do my annual vagina entry since everyone tells me how fun they are. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07