Veronica: "Worst. Easter Egg Hunt. Ever."

-Veronica Mars

Nothing like a night that has me watching one of my favorite shows ever. Even if millions watched Veronica Mars before me, I still feel special laying on the floor watching my taped episode from Tuesday night. 1 word can brighten up my day: monkeys.

If you must know, I am still loving Rome (Cleopatra visited the evil Antony only to really play with his mind because the man really, really wanted to fuck her) but dying to get back into the next segment of Battlestar Galactica that Sara and I left off at, Cain. Damn, how cool is that to take a 70's show and turn the old military turd character into a woman that looks as if she can grab a man's balls to either twist or lovingly caress?

Our mailbox was destroyed the night before I arrived home from Indiana. Imagine driving up your driveway only to wonder why there is no large metal pole holding up a metal tin can looking thingee you usually see only to find a flattened piece of metal. Yeah, it was hit that fucking hard as was our neighbor's. Drunks drive hard and hit mailboxes hard.

Editor: "Coulda been Billy Joel again. Friends don't let Billy Joel drive."

Cool stuff from our Mother Ocean these past few days. A new species of shark was found. Looks like a large eel with a gigantic row of sharp teeth. Just makes you wonder what ELSE is out there. It's known that so much has yet to be explored due to there being no light and too much pressure. You just know there's going to be more giant squid sightings. Am I the only one that finds this interesting?

The other event happened in Australia. A man was taken head-first by a 10-foot great white shark while diving with his son. What saved his life was the vest and the fact that he poked the shark's eye. Smart man. A shark's major weak points are the gill slits and eyes. If you've ever watched a shark attack, there's a special skin-like thing that protects the eyes.

I don't know. To be close to being swallowed alive by a large great white shark? That's got to be the coolest thing to bring up in a bar. People are sitting around showing off scars or talking about being shot. Some man comes in and says:

"You aint shit! I was close to being eaten by a goddamn fish *uses arms to show how big* this big!"

I've seen countless videotape of a great white opening its jaws to consume bait off a large hook. You so do not want to end up in the jaws of something that can snap you in half. If that diver hadn't worn a metal vest, wow. Even worse is that if he were still alive in the shark's belly, he'd have to hope that the shark needed to shit. Well, he sure aint goin' out the front.

And what of me? Well, this sissy boy ended up in the scrapbook place because I wanted the lady to take apart my latest one to add 20 pages. I just hate doing this event where I must unscrew little things here and there to add white virgin pages that need pics. Lucky for me, that scrapbook lady loves it when I visit and no longer thinks I'm the pizza dude like the first time I walked in that place.

While waiting, I asked the lady if any males ever come in. Hardly ever. You'll never find someone with a dick looking over flower pattern stickers to place on scrapbook pages. It's no wonder the place smells nice with some potpourri. No male flatulence.

The reason I have not placed any new pics is because I am still waiting for Lauren, our little asskicker in love. It seems that she's taken her freetime as moments spent having sex, sex that I hope she's finally introduced to sex toys, spankings, biting, something anal, and possibly violent. There is nothing like being surprised by being slammed up against a bathroom's walls and bitten.

There is one thing I don't understand about homosexuality. You're basically interested in someone with the same naughty parts while hetero goes along wanting to play with someone with opposite parts. Look at it this way, I, as well as many other men, enjoy seeing various things go into a woman. There is something so sexy about seeing my cock, finger, or vegetable going inside a woman's pussy. Those wet lips just engulf things and I love to see this happen.

So, why would someone with a pussy want to see another pussy? I have no problem with seeing naked guys in movies since I'm completely in the belief that women should see them just as we guys enjoy seeing naked women. However, there is no attraction but sometimes I've just gotta say 'what's up with that dick?.'

Women just look better naked than us guys. I just love to see everything in between those legs and be surprised with the grooming.

Had a great night in the gym thanks to being in such a good mood. Met a married Indian girl that laughed at how I mentioned the stereotype surrounding them. It's like how Asian males are considered so smart at math, Indian girls are just smart. Period. Of course, I just had to ask what type of boy she married. Indian girls are marrying up our plain white guys just like black guys are taking away the fat blonde girls these days.

And again, I am asked about this so-called 'accent' I have. The Indian girl asked where I am from. Well, I have distant blood that is British but that shouldn't be the case. Kim says I sound a bit like I'm from Australia. That makes over 3 people telling me I come from Oz.

So, I'm outta here after having a nice day trying to stay awake due to just going back into the gym hardcore just like that. You try being away for almost a week and see if you have that same feel of energy. I missed it and Sara agrees with me that my arms just got a little bigger. If I had a bigger booty and long blonde hair, the black dudes would be all over me til I flex my arms. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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