-Sarah Silverman

Sometimes, I just don't get my attitude problem. It's like there are all sorts of things I need to let out but do so in a very non-constructive way. I'll growl and sit in the corner looking like I need for someone to hand me a lollipop or at least fart in my general direction to get a peep out of me.

One of the big black guys in my gym laughed at how my jaw dropped when a gorgeous black girl walked by me. It even took me by surprise because it's rare for me to be attracted to black women period.

I do love it when people pick on me over my silly actions. From jaw-dropping to how animated I get over an insane topic. There's a lot of 'ooh-ooh's' and arms moving around when I get a bit too into what I'm talking about. I'm just not one to hide my feelings unless I'm stressed with too many things on my mind.

Oh, but back to black guy that laughed at me. A white girl, later on, walked by with socks all the way up to her knees. While I was pressing down a very heavy amount of weight, there was a 'oooh-wee!' out of him. I just looked over at the black guy with an obvious sense of humor from my ebony and ivory statement.

"It was the socks, right?"

Yup, and he loves fishnet stockings or any sort of stockings on women. Gawd, how it's so easy for women to please a man thanks to how our eyeballs tend to operate with our penises. While I dress for myself, I still find that I want to wear things that Sara enjoys seeing me in. My grey leather jacket is a big hit so I've slowly worked my way there.

Seen the Youtube video on the differences between how women shower when compared to men? Hilarious and so right on with things. Never realized that my need to occasionally open my towel to wave my weiner and say 'woo-woo' would catch on. Why anyone would want the sexes to be so similar, I'll never know.

Why do little Indian girls look like aliens that I want to give Reece's Piece's to? There were 2 of them waiting in a lobby and just now I wonder why I'm talking about kids. I hate kids.

My town is kind of in the middle of a scandal. Another one? There's always something thanks to a school administration that constantly fucks itself up with idiotic leaders that kiss the wrong asses. If it's not local black leaders demanding their kids pass classes even if the kids can't spell or read, it's white pedophiles that teach.

A Second Grade teacher has allegedly been forcing a few girls to perform oral sex on him. This isn't the biggest news if you've been following what happened in Pennsylvania. It's just that local problems tend to weird a person out. I cannot imagine my own Second Grade teacher, Mrs. B, demanding me to butter her muffin. The priests? Let's not go there but I could see a few of my private Catholic school teachers wanting to spank me.

I was quiet but known to drive some nuns nuts. Let's just say that the words 'war' and 'whore' are not as similar as I wished they were. Writing them on the chalkboard is a great way to have the lesson endeth and me getting a talking to.

Oh, and my 2-year anniversary gift has kind of been figured out. A big thank you to the girls I'm friends with in the gym. Boys are completely clueless when it comes to gifts since:

1). No concept of style

2). We don't understand what being a 'bag-whore' is all about.

3). Lingerie. It's gonna come off in seconds, anyway.

One of the hardest things for me is understanding Sara's sense of style. She does the layering thing but what she enjoys wearing is a whole different matter. I'm just so careful and calculated as to what I put on so that rubs off on me as to.........oh, enough of me trying to explain how retarded I can be.

So, I'm outta here since I've got mucho reading to do. Mariah Carey's on the cover of the newest issue of 'Playboy.' Blech! Mark Wahlberg (aka 'Marky Mark') is on the cover of 'Premiere.' Yay! Gee, 'Playboy' is really going down the tubes by going far too mainstream for me. Paris Hilton is one of the 25 Sexiest People according to them. Guess it was the shot floating around the 'Net of her peeing or her amazing way of making us forget she has herpes. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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