-Louis XVI on the DVD, Mary Antoinette, an extra feature played in character found on the DVD that makes fun of MTV's 'Cribs.'

And so the aftermath of our Valentine's Day onslaught of snow continues......

Yes, I have finally made it out of my driveway after being couped up in this house for 2 days straight. It's serious in saying that the furthest I ever got was to my mailbox but that took place only during shoveling. Being forced to stay indoors is nothing horrible, what with Ron Jeremy's book and Mark Wahlberg's 'Invincible' to keep my mind off how sore my back was.

All around the town, there are gigantic walls of snow. 4-lane roads are now 2 lanes or less. Middle turn lanes no longer exist because some contain these walls of snow or they're just plain covered in a thin layer. The parking lots of various businesses (I visited Barnes, of course!) had many independant snowplow people. Basically, the whole town is one sloppy mess.

As for us, I have more snow to shovel due to a layer being placed at the bottom of my driveway. Quite mysterious, I might add. It's like a small ramp where I must hit the gas a bit and hope I get over. Otherwise, I'm stuck as shit in Whitney Houston's 'doody-bubble.'

Everyone has a story as to how they dealt with things here. Person after person I talked to in my gym said that back soreness annoyed them today. Digging out cars or shoveling for someone pretty much wore everyone out. You'd think that weight-lifters would enjoy the extra workout or not having to hit the gym afterwards. Not possible nor would you find them helping out my gym by shoveling the parking lot. It's all iron.

Tonight it felt good to be back in my gym. With my own personal shoveling (I did half and then my dad's side as well), it just wasn't in me to go to the gym. Hell, I didn't think they were open (Found out they were) due to parking lots being second in need of snowplows. Police and snowplow people were pleading on the TV for people to just stay the fuck home.

It almost felt like I haven't seen my muscles for so long. When you're in a gym, it's just not possible to escape mirrors so there they were! Oh, how I missed my 'guns' so much. Someday, I'm gonna have to measure these arms o' might.

I'm kidding. Although, it is nice to see my triceps and biceps so easily, my time spent in the gym is just do my thing and get the fuck out. Benefits are just icing.

I'm pretty sure there are a few gals out there that are Sports Illustrated Swimsuit fans. *winks at brown girl* Today was that day where the magazine stands were forced to put what some stone-aged mothers still seem to hate to the core. Women in bikinis incite the lesbianism in housewives that want to keep their little boys from popping boners at all times.

Note: I am not happy that Beyonce made the cover. I'm no fan of hers (No real talent, sorry) but to take the fame from a future model while she is already famous is pretty mean.

Ask any boy out there to tell you about his first real introduction into the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue and he'll most likely sound off on a specific model. For me, it was Elle Mcpherson while just about everyone else I knew wanted Kathy Ireland. Elle had that amazing face and body.

Elle was known as 'The Body.' Why not? She's quite tall and that wet hair just made my heart melt upon any page she was on. I'll never forget when HBO showed the first Making Of the Swimsuit Issue. Anytime it was on, I'd race to the TV in hopes that I didn't miss Elle McPherson's infamous lifting up her wet t-shirt for those few seconds. Oh, tits! Those tiny little tits belonged to the most perfect looking woman and we had to hit slow motion on our remotes or we little boys would die.

When we lil' boys grew up, I remember standing outside the high school talking to MR about Elle McPherson's scene. "Do you remember *imitates t-shirt lifting* ?" Anyone around would join in and start ahhing. We were just sex-crazed virgins obsessed with the tiniest amount of female nudity and no clue as to how to seduce a female. All we knew was that nipples caused excitement even if they certainly don't have that power over me now.

I'm surprised that my private school allowed the Swimsuit Issue. I remember a few kids would have it out during breaks without any kind of confiscation. Nuns were brutal on me due to my occasional mouth but Kathy Ireland's barely clad ass didn't do anything to excite their loins.

One of the funniest things to me personally was that I was in major fear of buying the SI swimsuit issue. Major. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with admitting that I enjoyed looking at very naked women standing in ankle deep water. At least they smiled! It was there in Osco Drug that I was so tempted to buy a copy but ended up chickening out. What if the clerk smirked while ringing it up? What if the clerk was female? There is no way I can admit that I'm having a hard time with the fact that I now love tits and that the cootie war with girls is now over.

Now, the SI swimsuit issue is so tame. I couldn't care less if a clerk ringing up my purchases of nudie mags was female nor do I go crazy over breasts (or abuse of the slow motion button on VCR remotes). Porn is all over and too easy to get. Little boys won't be so infatuated with something that keeps the naughty bits clothed even if there is some obvious hard nipples telling them the temperature. Times just change and how I wish my way into adulthood would be for others to experience as well.

Times do change. I now like Marisa Miller, one of the models for SI. She's a surfer and quite unlike an actual model from what I've seen in interviews. Marisa's got some personality while hunting for those thirsty waves. Is it any wonder that the picture of her wearing nothing but an Ipod on her crotch nearly brings me back to Elle's nipple sighting?

Editor: "*Sigh* Me, too! I wonder what her beaver looks like."

So, I'm outta here after getting 2 copies of the SI swimsuit issue. They end up in my collection of mags where I've got every swimsuit issue from the 80's til now. That took me a lot of money a few years ago, since I like to remember those days. Little did I know that girls were just as curious about our appendages as we were about tits. So, when was your first sneak peek at a 'Playgirl?' I bet there's some stories to be placed in entries. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07