-As If

Actually, I like musicals and there is that other factor, that I'm not gay. Sure, I have my little playful thoughts that if I were *shows hands-down response* it would only to be caught in the arms of Mark Wahlberg and David Beckham. Imagine, 2 obviously athletic men but only one has the pretty blue eyes that Sara insists should be matched with blue clothing.

Smurfs: "Hey, what about us!?! Try to be more original. We may enjoy fucking the shit out of Smurfette but that doesn't give you the right to talk about violating all her holes. And.......oh, shit! It's Gargamel! He ate Hefty! You bastard!"

It's funny. The worse I feel inside, the better my workouts get. Yeah, I'm still moping around a bit in hopes that Sara does remember that today equals 2 years together. It may not be an official relationship to you due to my being able to avoid more of the normal couple bickering but I've been happy.

Obviously, I've been throwing myself into my workouts. Why not? Going home is a complete bust unless there is something powerful enough to make me forget that miserable feeling. 10 more minutes turns into 20 minutes and then I realize that maybe I should do my best to catch the rest of G4's Attack Of the Show. There is no other nerdy show that can match the greatness where people take serious debates as to whether Nintendo can be defeated in the handheld department.

Methinks it's possible if Sony comes up with that nifty idea that Ipod recently put out, a portable vibrator that connects to it. I'm not sure how I'd react to a girl running on the treadmill while it's in use.

Editor: "Somehow, I think you would fall down, fart, pass out from too much enjoyment, and need a change of pants. The end."

Why is it that women always get all the nifty gadgets the pertain to their private parts while we guys get things that keep us glued to the TV?

Lauren walked into the gym. Me get excited because I'd love to talk to someone while being entertained with the sight of invisible violence. Only Lauren goes to Spin Class instead. No photos, dammit. She finds it amusing that I just cannot get the right opportunity to get those pics of her kicking the shit out of a heavybag.

Then again, Lauren and I are busy on different sections of the gym. She's in a little room while I fight to keep people out of my space as I lift weight that makes people stare. To us weight-lifters, 100 pounds is normal or easy. When I lift the whole damn stack on a machine, this brings the staring done by people that have no clue as to what they need to do.

Never thought I'd be as poop'd out about feeling like a complete stack of steaming shit. Gives me a good enough excuse to put my nose in Kelley Arstrong's book, 'Dime Store Magic.'

Let me tell ya, reading about a day where a witch has to fight to keep custody of a 13-year-old soon-to-be-witch only to be made extremely powerful when her period comes is quite a hoot, yo. The person wanting actual control of the girl is a sorcerer and CEO of a large business only wanting to make more money. Add a tricky sorcerer lawyer that has saved her ass for now since old people tend to block a funeral parlor's door at a wake when the deceased wakes up and you'll realize that the elderly don't take too kindly about seeing good ol' Fred again. Who's got the will, indeed.

It's no secret that many of the stories I enjoy have to do with the supernatural. Werewolves and vampires are pretty damn nice since, yes, I'd love to be bitten by one so I can help save the world. Me, a good werewolf that consumes rapists and murderers while stopping to occasionally pee in your rose garden is how I'd describe myself. I'll try not to chase your cat but I cannot guarantee that I will moon you after shaving my ass. I'm totally in love with my ass being hair-free and will gladly show it upon request.

But a witch is new, something a bit different than reading about the usual chase through the forest. No hanging around a cauldren. Just plain old defensive spells and trying to avoid the usual people telling you to rot in hell because they think satanism when the local cats end up gutted on the front lawn.

Misery also brings about this weird feeling to shop? Do I need new Calvins? A new watch? Socks? I hate how I suddenly want to change a few things just because I hate how I haven't been able to hear from my busy girlfriend. As you can see, it's quite possible that I will be taking off for Indiana this weekend. We'll see if I hear from her later tonight.

My toaster is cooler. You'd be surprised to know that getting a newer and better toaster helps a little. Our old one broke this morning so any day without waffles with maple syrup is gonna be hell. Not only can it do 2 but this new one allows a total of 4. Whoo! Blueberry waffles in the morning! You should be jealous.

So, I'm outta here as I try to shake off these blues and my love of Smurfs that somehow are itching me to go shopping tomorrow. If all goes well, I hope to finish up that roll of film on Lauren so that I can FINALLY get this disposable camera developed. It's been so long that I only remember things from New Year's Eve being on there. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07