-300

If it's not snow, rain, or hail, there has to be something. Tonight, it's wind and it's a hilarious sight to see hairy dogs do their best to fight the fact that all their hair is flying. Actually, if you have enough imagination, you would almost swear the dogs themselves are flying.

And so I get an unexpected laugh. Normally, I'd say that I needed it but I've spent so much time catching up with things local/media that any time for being down is placed aside. A letter from the local traffic school picqued my interest not only because it had my name on it but because I remember the time I had to go there. Getting a speeding ticket's a bitch but so is having to sit in a classroom for an hour relearning how to drive.

My dad knocked over a traffic light. Allow me to repeat. My father, a man that has destined into me to be careful and that nothing in life is free, knocked down a whole traffic light by backing into one recently. Traffic school for him!

My mom has been trying to lower my finding dad's little traffic mishap super funny as hell. It truly is to me because I have never met anyone that has knocked down a whole traffic light by backing up into it. Sure, I've taken a left turn at 70mph only to end up in bushes, gone through a red light, driven through someone's front lawn and waved at them while they sat in the living room watching TV (high school had its upsides for me) and even got a speeding ticket with my dad riding along. But a while traffic light? Dad rocks!

To be fair, the one thing I love about how my dad taught me to drive is placing the knowledge on how to drive stick. I'm finding more and more people do not know how while I marvel at those that can. First, second, third, and all that that are caused from moving that damn thing makes driving kind of fun. Then again, if you have a really talented girlfriend that can take that stick inside herself like I saw on a homemade video recently.........whoa. That stick will be sticky from all the right reasons.

Some of my day has been up in odds over my worry in losing a toothbrush. Everytime I visit Sara's, I nearly lose it from not packing it securely. While there were little scenerios playing in my 'mildly retarded' brain as to how a passerby comes across a nice battery-powered toothbrush, I am happy to report I found it. I'm really protective of my teeth and insist on them being brushed 2 times a day rather than finding alleycats humming along to it after finding week-old fish in back of a store. It does sound like a vibrator but it is mine.

Why must girls always pop their boyfriends' zits or any blemishes that need to be popped? Sara does this a lot prior to our shower. I'll have to stand their completely naked for a lookover before entering the tub. Due to workouts, I get the occasional zit but it's off when Sara sees it. Long nails do help but it's a lot of fun to see a woman's determination to help a male keep his skin clear.

Then again, it could just be my newfound obsession in enjoying pain. Popping zits does have a small amount of irritation but, when a girl takes control, I enjoy very much. Sometimes, I get a nice little swat on the ass for keeping still or I'll just admire the size of our breasts. Benching over 300 pounds means I have the tits so I shovel the snow.

This new flick, 300, has me in deep anticipation over seeing it. I've read the graphic novel and enjoyed the storyline more so than the art, something lacking due to the fact that I love very sinewy figure drawing. It's supposedly true that 300 Spartans defeated 1,000's of Persians (said to be millions but you know how things get exaggerated) coming to enslave them and rape their women.

One thing some women do not get is how men feel about coming to defense of their sweethearts. C'mon, isn't it sexy when a man stands up for the woman he shares his bed? I, for one, love being as big as I am and will defend Sara unless she tells me to stand down. It's just part of being a man.

Don't worry. I'm not completely ape since I grew up when Aliens came about. Women that can arm themselves with a flamethrower and M-60 rifles are a-ok in my book. Unlike Newt Gingrich's telling of how horrible it would be to share a foxhole with a woman because she'll have a period to deal with and that smell will come about when she can't change her pad/tampon, I'm just fine. Don't you hate it when politicians say things that show how out of touch they are with female issues?

But 300 has a leading lady that sends her husband off to war. A Spartan's heart is for her and she knows that, although he is expecting death, it is for the best to die defending. Even the women were tough and I enjoyed reading that.

Note: HBO has a First Look at 300. The leading Spartan, Gerard Butler, looks so unrecognizable! If you've ever seen him, he played The Phantom in the newest version of The Phantom Of the Opera. This guy put on some major muscle as you'll see from HBO showing the workouts everyone had to endure (easy for me).

I've been tinkering around with another possibility for an entry. Female masturbation. I'm reading a lot of views on it in blogs and am impressed with how open women are about it, once quite private, I guess. Of course, this past weekend with Sara gave me a few thoughts as to why we men enjoy watching so much.

Oh, some asshole in Maryland is trying to ban the use of bulls' balls on the back of cars. You've seen them. They're these plastic things that look like testicles that men (I'm assuming women aren't really interested in riding around with them) place underneath the rear end of cars and trucks. Cute idea and, yes, my dad has them on his truck. I don't understand why plastic testicles can cause quite a stir.

So, I'm outta here and soon to be planning my looking for a job once again. There is no way in hell I want to go back to my old one. No way. Nothing could be used as an incentive this time because I have every materialistic need covered for now. Plus, I want out of here. 5 noisy dogs can drive a boy insane. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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