-'Infidel' by Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Well, it's no surprise that I am in love with this book. It's hard to put down once I got past the usual slow introductions (even Harry Potter's first had me wondering what the big deal was on those first few chapters) and am slammed head first into what life is like in Somolia, Sudan, and Saudi Arabia. Is every bad thing a result of the Jews as told by those sneaky Saudis?

I cannot imagine living life like Ayaan, small huts, memorizing each family member back 7 generations, daily beatings for the smallest thing, arranged marriages where the women get sick over such ugly men, hearing how great it is when a male shows bloody sheets after deflowering his bride, and more beatings all in the name of Allah's mercy.

Hmmph, I now realize that I would be beaten hourly, knowing how much of a crazy creature I used to be. My life revolved around cartoons, Transformers and G.I.Joes, games of tag, hoping to get a great peak up a girl's dress, armpit farts, apple fights, and making awful sounds over bad food. Mom got me to eat saurkraut by telling me it was "Darth Vader food."

Editor: "Gotta love Mum and how she's now enjoying her second childhood by bragging about her newfound farting ability."

I'm only 90something pages in 'Infidel' so I cannot make a complete opinion on Ayaan's book. It's very good because she's quite honest as far as her childhood goes. A dad that left because her mom pretty much lost herself to this Muslim religion. Man, could you girls imagine being beaten just because you got your periods only to have your older brothers teach you what they know about maxi-pads?

I've never been beaten by my parents. Possibly because I was never caught for a lot of the stuff I did. My mother would have had a huge fit if she knew about the apple fights Mikey and I held at one time. One kid had his face smacked completely head-on by an apple.

The only real punishment that I will never forget was when my first kiss, Veronica, saw me in her neighbor's backyard. While sitting in the dirt playing with toys, she wanted for me to mention I liked her (I didn't like her, I LOVED her as my obsession with strong women began-this girl kicked me in the ribs during a soccer match). Knowing me and my mouth (and possibly girls all having cooties), Veronica managed to bring her garden hose without me knowing. The girl lay down a huge force at full blast and caused all the dirt to splash onto my friends' and I faces.

Guess who had to have an early bath and go straight to bed because his mother was suspicious? I was so mad at Veronica but still secretly liked her a whole bunch. There's something about a girl that would kick me when I fell down and later force me to kiss her at a mock wedding.

Jay and Silent Bob: "Smoochies boochies!"

That's about as cruel as my mom would get. No beatings with a rod or cane. No being locked in the cellar where I was forced to eat cold peas from the can. I do admit to a curiousity as to what it's like to be tied up to The Rack.

There is a portion of me that finds it hard to read 'Infidel' because I admire truly tough women but cannot stand to see a woman endure beatings or events to keep a woman down. Shouts of 'Stand up and kick the shit out of him/her to stop this useless form of punishment!' will play over and over. Kind of reminds me of how I helped my ex-girlfriend, Beth, fight back against her overbearing mother because she was so sick of tennis.

Oh, and, Sammy, motion has been carried when it comes to me being employed. I'm doing this piece by piece so number 1 has been carried out. Tomorrow, it's one of 2 things I hate to have to do but must. It's so sweet that this girl gives me the feeling that she'd like nothing more than to boot my butt out the door every now and then all while rewarding me for good behavior.

Kermit the Frog, Gonzo, and Beaker: "That's what friends are for."

The only good gossip for today was Slut Watcher getting all happy over the fact that he said 'hi' to his crush. Yes, 40something-year-old men that jump up and down over the slightest hint of thong get these. His crush, Holly, came up to me with a slight smile over this. She knows the effect she has on men thanks to her fake tits and toned body.

Me? I'm just happy that I got a free Borat t-shirt and finished the DVD, Marie Antoinnete. I've been a fan of Sofia Coppola since The Virgin Suicides so it's inevitable that I'd end up with this. Kirsten Dunst does a fine job of coming into queen-life only to fuck things up with France's economy due to excessive partying and gambling. A 9.1 rating for Marie Antoinnete that's partly helped by the interesting soundtrack. That opening song was nice, very nice!

Yes, King Luis XVI is right. No home is complete without a cherub.

Found a new blog. On first glance, you might think I'm more interested in the fact that the author is topless in just about every picture. Not true. She caught me on her various everyday issues and meeting a few celebs thanks to Chicago's many conventions. Think her lunch with Ron Jeremy ended up with a good game of 'hide the sausage?'

4 Nicknames I like:

1). Possum (Hiss says this)

2). Mikey Mike (Huh?)

3). Hedgehog (Hair)

4). The Ferret (quickness)

Last 3 movies watched:

1). Marie Antoinette

2). Stick It

3). Goonies

2 Summer movies I am nuts for:

1). Spiderman 3

2). Resident Evil 3

1 that I'm not looking forward to:

1). Transformers (It looks bad. Without Megatron or Soundwave and no correct looking Bumblebee and Optimus, I'm not interested. Fuck off!)

So, I'm outta here. Hopefully, some of you out there saw the new Spiderman 3 trailer. Is nice? Oh, yeah, Venom looked pretty good so far but I love the suspense as to what he looks like in full-figured form. Can a Spiderman geek's dreams come true? With Keira Knightley back this summer, it's my wet dream. I don't care how sweaty she is in that dress for I'd still lick the drops of sweat off her strawberry. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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