-Kristan

I'll never forget those words that came from my question. I had asked Kristan why she works out so intensely, like me. Apparently, after a hard day of dealing with asshole bosses or military, working out helps her sleep better. I'll admit to some truth in this because there is nothing like falling completely once the day is done.

Tell that to 5-Pound Phooey. There has been a very noticeable change in her ever since we've started running. No more running up and down the halls like a mad demon. 5-Pound Phooey has started to wear down a bit faster as you'll find her curled up in the leather chair having a hard time staying awake. Trust me. It's better this way because that 'demon' part is pretty truthful.

Of course, today was like any other day of running with little dog while the whole neighborhood possibly thinks I'm gay because dog is tiny. I doubt my camo cargo pants would help give me some form of masculinity. You see, there are times where 5-Pound Phooey is so worn out that I have to carry her. Big man, little dog equals everyone's gaydar going off.

Do I give a fuck?

So, I see Sylvester Stallone got caught in Australia with over 30 vials of steroids. Wonderful. Another personal hero has crashed and burned. Ever seen Rocky 3, 4, and Rambos 2 and 3? Oh, this man made his body impossibly perfect to the point that I wished to be able to walk around looking like someone put mounds of hard left out-in-the-sun Play-Doh in the right places.

Alas, things change and I no longer give a fuck about my inner desire to look like I fight with lightning and crap thunder. It's just that I feel kind of let down that Sylvester took the steroid route. Even at 60, the man does look good in body but the face is a fucking mess. What happened, Sylvester? You should be thinking about enjoying your years and your family instead of trying to look like a 20-year-old Abercrombie model.

Note: Did you know that Sylvester was legendary with top hookers? I'll never forget the tell-all that talked of how he had a different prostitute in each room and would do each one by one by going room to room. Then again, Don Henley was well-known for having each girl bend over in a line up and he'd go from girl to girl. I forgot who used to sing while getting a blowjob.

As for me, I'm noticing slight changes. I'm happier due to the endorphins released after a run and I love to feel my heart beat a bit better than it usually does. My ass will probably disappear again like last year's running so Sara is gonna be unhappy when seeing me naked again. Girls like ass, hairless toned Spartan ass.

Sammy, people are afraid of you. I am not. These days, people want to be fed lies or to be fed false praise because no one wants to bruise their egos. Remember the study that said college kids have too much self esteem? I'd totally get into a heated discussion with you for hours where there will be chairs thrown. I like to rile people up and you so know I can do that.

Boys discuss a lot of things. Namely, a deep discussion on MTV's Jackass (or the movie) will bring out our talkative selves. For me, I never thought I'd mention to my friend, Richard, the words 'naked guys running in hotel' but there's always a first.

Borat. Heard of it? Gawd, I can go on and on about how ridiculously funny (and occasionally offensive while not all jokes worked) this movie is all while being a fake documentary. What I was talking about was this very infamous scene where Borat walks in to find his obese producer jerking off to pictures of Pamela Anderson. A fight ensues because he doesn't want the pages to get sticky.

You have to see this. Borat and this obese producer are completely naked and fighting. One of them gets his balls in the other guy's mouth and then a chase begins. There is a real convention going on and these 2 naked idiots end up in it. Security, now I love this part, had trouble getting the obese producer off the stage during the fight. My dad was laughing so hard he cried when this scene came on. I...........I don't know how to describe how I felt about 2 naked guys fighting like that.

The whole point is that no man mentions the fact that they have seen another man naked in film or real life. It's one of those Man Laws. While it's okay for us to think you girls go into locker rooms to change, have lesbian sex on the floor while various people join in, men do their best to not make it known that they are hoping the next weiner made visible is not bigger than his. Borat opens a whole new dialogue.

"He had the guy's balls in his mouth!"

Borat is deeper than naked males chasing each other so don't be afraid to take a look at this unforgettable flick. It truly points out the homophobia and racism that America tried to hide. You, too, might get angry at the fraternity guys' comments that slavery should be brought back all for the possibility of sex.

Did anyone get Shortbus or even see it? I'm getting a little curious about it since this is by a great director. His warped movie, Hedwig, is something you'll never forget so I'm wondering just how far he took this movie about couples' sexuality. The sex is real but I just don't know if there is a purpose for the well-known gay sex scene where the guy plays a song with the other guy's asshole (or something like that).

So, with all that in mind, male nudity and using someone's asshole as a musical instrument, I'm outta here. It's not that I'm squeamish, since Sara and I did watch some weird video where gay guys put giant things up this guy's ass, but more along the lines of wondering what the point is. You'll probably find me complaining about a porn all because I am one of the few that wants a plot. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

Love Facebook - 2009-05-07

Retards Away! - 2009-02-16

Jackasses! I Sees 'Em! - 2008-11-28

My Birthday Happened - 2008-09-07