-Denis Leary

Let me give you some advice. If you've got the feeling of complete happiness causing you to float around without a care in the world, enjoy it. Embrace the love surrounding you because it'll be over eventually. The needle scratches and that Sade album will have you too shocked to react.

My mom might have cancer. Oh, boy. It was my question to her about why she was visiting the 'boob doctor' again. All I got was that there is something abnormal. Scares me, man. My mom is the basic rock in this family, seriously. There isn't much closeness when it comes to my dad because I never grew up with that masculinity he wanted (Only, he didn't teach me because he was at work for too many hours so I taught myself baseball, football, etc.).

Bloody hell. I'm trying to think positive thoughts without sounding like a complete loser. Seriously, I really want to hang with someone close but the closest is just over 1 hour and the longest would be almost 3 hours away. Stuck is what I call thee.

Other than all that, how am I? Better but waking up in the morning all because of constantly feeling cold is not fun. When I get colds, they can be either sneezy or a combination of all sorts of things. This would be the sore back from coughing, sneezing, clogged up, hazy feeling, and needing 3 covers when it's 70 degrees outside. The absolute worst is that I have to piss every 10 minutes.

As I said, I don't just sit there. My mom spent her time ignoring the scare by spring cleaning. I joined in by cleaning underneath my bed. Typical boy, I went through 3 years of 'Playboys' all to pitch into the trash. Went through most of the pages to see if anything was worth salvaging. Only 2. None had Jessica Alba, Sammy.

So, I'm lonely miserable and just goddamn lost. Took that application in to the store in hopes that a job can take my mind off of various things playing in my head. Add all that with wondering how I can maintain time with Sara at the same time.

You wanna know what else my mother does? She just blurts out about her miscarriage like it's nothing. On Saturday, she suddenly tells me that I would have had a sister. I've never forgotten how my mother told me this long, long ago so why bring it up? Would have been nice to have a sister in helping me to understand women.

Editor: "It sounds like you already understand women. Look at how over 90% of your friends are women. How many girls have kissed you? Bedded you? What about that 29-year-old woman that said you were amazing? Just about all of your readers are female. You've got a 2-year relationship with Sara. What more do you need? The fact that you can talk about pussy and still cause people to come back means something."

Fact: I don't really understand women that well. I just find them to be the best friends a guy can have. Lucky for me that I have a sense as to who is worth talking to and whom I should avoid.

Fact #2: I'd rather be mildly drunk and playing the Nintendo Wii's bowling game to forget about my aching body.

I know. Some of you would rather read about my belief as to what makes a good sex blog. Beats listening to me talk about a possible cancer scare. It's just that without my mom, I am nothing. That woman is so strong and taught me so much in respecting everyone. Heroes are those that tend to be seen as invincible but the reality is the opposite.

So, I'm outta here. Mom's got a visit to the doc next Monday. Gonna feel like a loooooooooooong week. We'll talk funny stuff when I feel better since looking out the window seeing the neighbors working on planting made me feel so lazy as I shivered all day. Happy twats all around.

- - 2009-07-07

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